Intimacy: Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 449

You deserved it 42 552

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Same thing different taste

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 599

You deserved it 2 811

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 792

You deserved it 2 545

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 210

You deserved it 26 150

Gross

By Anonymous - 02/03/2017 17:00 - Canada - Elora

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 542

You deserved it 1 617

By ohEw - 09/11/2017 10:00 - United States - Pasadena

Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 006

You deserved it 266

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 506

You deserved it 46 408

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 897

You deserved it 40 478

By PJ. - 05/01/2010 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 508

You deserved it 35 158

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Spicy

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 125

You deserved it 3 368

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 714

You deserved it 6 019

Next

Top comments

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:37

It is always safer to put a condom on before making love to yourself.

thacar 1

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:37

Why impress people like that? If I saw the condom I would be disgusted, not impressed!

Comments

DKjazz 20

Tuesday 31 July 2012 14:12

It's true, that's how I caught the clap.

joedoyle22 1

Tuesday 31 July 2012 14:30

That really is pitiful

KiddNYC1O 20

Tuesday 31 July 2012 15:07

Lmao. That's unnecessary.

15949058 4

Tuesday 31 July 2012 15:22

Wow.... umm....

natkat78 3

Tuesday 31 July 2012 15:31

Why would u write this on here.....?????

notepie 6

Tuesday 31 July 2012 15:32

Your pretty stupid!

TBelle4Ever 15

Tuesday 31 July 2012 15:36

#Forever Alone

worldclassrager 39

Tuesday 31 July 2012 15:37

half the people out there are lying about losing their virginty or just trying to impress others...don't be one of them...

SpunkyyyMonkeyy 10

Tuesday 31 July 2012 16:04

Ever virgin has a hobby :D

SmileyKyliKins 4

Tuesday 31 July 2012 16:16

Um, sir... I think you're better off just jacking off in solitude without a condom because like everyone has said, it'd be very disgusting to find a gnarly condom in the trash can when you got home.. Don't do that, bro. You don't need to impress anyone.

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Keywords

Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Mental health Work Awkward AITA Am I overreacting? Love Social Media Family Annoying Sex Intimacy Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Dogs Animals Sleep Cute Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 324

Today, I visited the best cafe for the fourth time in a week. I’ve tried not to flirt with the same (hot) barista, I even mentioned my partner, but we chat and joke every time, and get on well. After I said bye and left, I heard a hasty, “Love you, bye.” It's maybe a joke, but he’s a total catch, and I don't know if I can go back there now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 91

You deserved it 443

The Top

Today, I went to take a shower, but forgot my towel and dorm key in my room. After my shower, I had to run down to the front desk butt-naked, using only a shampoo bottle as cover, and ask for a temporary key. The person running the front desk was my ex-girlfriend’s current boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 166

You deserved it 1 102

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 490

You deserved it 6 180

Today, my husband's 70-year-old uncle came for a visit. Since we only have 2 bedrooms, we set him up in our daughter's room. Later, I glanced into the room and saw him masturbating in her bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 981

You deserved it 2 816

Today, I had unprotected sex with my 63 year-old friend. I’ve been told I would have trouble ever conceiving naturally. Now he’s worried I'm pregnant. It wouldn’t be so bad if his we weren’t both married. Here’s to hoping I’m not, and if so this baby comes out with brown eyes like mine and my husband's. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 936

Today, at the ripe old age of 23, I now no longer have no control over my farts when I cough. My many young students find this hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 185

Today, I was at a mall. A woman stopped by me, said slowly and loudly, in Spanish "baño?" Knowing a bit of Spanish, I nodded and pointed the restrooms out for her. She then mutters about "dang Mexicans and their inability to speak English". I'm not even Latina. I'm Irish-American. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 095

You deserved it 4 177