Intimacy: Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 449

You deserved it 42 552

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Same thing different taste

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 599

You deserved it 2 811

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 792

You deserved it 2 545

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 210

You deserved it 26 150

Gross

By Anonymous - 02/03/2017 17:00 - Canada - Elora

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 542

You deserved it 1 617

By ohEw - 09/11/2017 10:00 - United States - Pasadena

Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 006

You deserved it 266

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 506

You deserved it 46 408

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 897

You deserved it 40 478

By PJ. - 05/01/2010 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 508

You deserved it 35 158

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Spicy

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 125

You deserved it 3 368

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 714

You deserved it 6 019

Next

Top comments

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:37

It is always safer to put a condom on before making love to yourself.

thacar 1

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:37

Why impress people like that? If I saw the condom I would be disgusted, not impressed!

Comments

zandalee 19

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:54

Are you like 12? Darl, not good. Go take it out of the trash can in the lounge and move right along. Nothing to see here...

TeddyB88 4

Tuesday 31 July 2012 11:12

I think he already found one lmao

kikikimsicles 0

Tuesday 31 July 2012 11:18

No one cares about anyone's sex life but their own. So I doubt they'd care about whether you got laid. But they would be pretty disgusted finding a used condom in their rubbish. Could've been a bit more subtle. But I guess that's not the look you were going for...

titzenpitzer 9

Tuesday 31 July 2012 11:57

you're a weird man. You took care of other details too?

Kazenoe 24

Tuesday 31 July 2012 12:02

Hey, I was 23 when I lost my virginity. Your time will come, OP. :D Only hope it will be with someone you care about, and not some random **** you hooked up with because sex is cool...

AlexBblah 10

Tuesday 31 July 2012 12:13

Well if it get's people of your Tit's about not having sex and how you suck , **** it but should have thrown it under the bed

VooDooCarrie91 19

Tuesday 31 July 2012 16:11

Really? Under the bed? That's even worse

ATSViper 15

Tuesday 31 July 2012 12:22

I wish they had a WTF option.

sabrinalove_fml 1

Tuesday 31 July 2012 13:18

As long as you're the only one that knows the truth...oh wait...,

tewalsh 6

Tuesday 31 July 2012 13:52

Loser.

perdix 29

Tuesday 31 July 2012 14:07

You need to throw in a used pregnancy test stick to make it look like you had sex with a female.

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The Top

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week, they fired me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door, with a note that said "If not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60, and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 549

You deserved it 2 738

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 207

You deserved it 324

The Top

Today, my parents finally decided to get a divorce. The catch? I'm on my step-dad's insurance and without it, I will no longer be able to receive my absolutely crucial mental health medication, on which, no exaggeration, my life depends upon. I'm cooked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 550

You deserved it 101

Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 804

You deserved it 78

Today, I got into a huge fight with my boyfriend. I called him and started yelling at him over the phone. He told me that if I wanted to end the relationship I should just hang up the phone right then. Before I could say I still love him and don't want to break up, my phone battery died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 108 358

You deserved it 26 546

Today, my husband put on a nice suit and asked me out to dinner. When he found out I was on my period, he decided to stay home instead, since there was "no point" anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 078

You deserved it 2 649

Today, I met my soon-to-be step mother. My dad was right, we had a lot in common. Including our birth year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 496

You deserved it 4 078

Today, my crush confessed their love for me, and I happily told them that I felt the same way. They looked uncomfortable, so I asked why. Apparently they'd been paid to prank me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 497

You deserved it 286