Intimacy: Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living... - FML

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Spicy

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 449

You deserved it 42 552

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Spicy

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 599

You deserved it 2 811

The Three Bears Conundrum

By Madison43097 - 24/09/2009 20:57 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning out from underneath my bed and found a used condom. I've never had sex in my own room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 792

You deserved it 2 545

By PCJJacket - 05/05/2014 17:30 - United States - Los Angeles

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my girlfriend while my parents were out. After they got home, my dog brought out our used condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 210

You deserved it 26 150

Gross

By Anonymous - 02/03/2017 17:00 - Canada - Elora

Spicy

Today, I was cleaning my older brother's room in my mom's house after he had just moved out with his girlfriend. I guess I was multitasking a little too much and not paying too much attention to what I was doing and I realized 15 seconds later, I was holding a used condom in my right hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 542

You deserved it 1 617

By ohEw - 09/11/2017 10:00 - United States - Pasadena

Today, while doing my laundry, I found a very clean but presumably used ribbed condom in my freshly washed and dried sheets. It was not mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 006

You deserved it 266

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 506

You deserved it 46 408

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 897

You deserved it 40 478

By PJ. - 05/01/2010 14:06 - United States

Spicy

Today, I planted a bit of a condom wrapper in my bed so my housekeeper would think I have a love life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 508

You deserved it 35 158

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Spicy

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 125

You deserved it 3 368

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Spicy

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 714

You deserved it 6 019

Next

Top comments

s0m3guy2010 21

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:37

It is always safer to put a condom on before making love to yourself.

thacar 1

Tuesday 31 July 2012 9:37

Why impress people like that? If I saw the condom I would be disgusted, not impressed!

Comments

ktc24 3

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:12

That is disgusting.

VooDooCarrie91 19

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:14

A little desperate for acceptance, are we?

cartooncharacter 9

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:18

Forever alone

XKXKKXK 10

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:19

Does masturbating not count as a hobby? Well damn.

stej1985 3

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:36

ouch...

ScarletBloom 14

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:38

You live in your own solitary world that you had to resort to this to deceive yourself that you were not deprived of being able to have sex with someone?

zandalee 19

Tuesday 31 July 2012 12:11

Christ that's just so deep!!!

br0ccoli 14

Tuesday 31 July 2012 22:39

The juxtaposition of your 1800blowjobs picture and your attempt to have an intelligent, soul-searching comment is not working for me.

Bigmoneyshotz 0

Wednesday 1 August 2012 2:05

Your hot!

TehParteh 9

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:38

A hobby that has less latex.

neets332 2

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:39

Whatever makes you feel good hun. No judgment

mzmush 2

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:42

I think its more sick than sad, I'm guessing when you do have sex it will be on the dinner table with family and friends around.

SkoomaKi 27

Tuesday 31 July 2012 10:47

Nothing wrong with a posh wank.

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Embarrassing Transportation Cars Relatable Work Mental health Awkward Love AITA Am I overreacting? Social Media Family Annoying Intimacy Sex Coworkers Poopoo peepee Health Dentist Animals Dogs Sleep Cute Shopping My ex Cats Clothes Job interview Miscellaneous Weird

The Top

Today, I lost yet another girlfriend because my ex tells every girl I go out with that I cheated on her. She DMs them screenshots of what I did. I know I’m no saint, but all that was 6 months ago, and it was an accident. I can’t change the past, but I can be sorry for what I did. I just can’t win in this situation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 992

Today, my girlfriend called and said she had great news. Turns out I've cured her of that illness she gets every month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 027

You deserved it 21 119

The Top

Today, I had to get two teenagers to stop playing bumper cars with the electric scooters at the grocery store I work at. I'm seventeen, and they don't pay me enough for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 456

You deserved it 1 348

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I really like. I let him use my phone, forgetting about the messages I'd sent about the consistency of my bowel movements. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 398

You deserved it 15 240

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked, "Why does it smell so bad?" I replied, "Sweat". FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 523

You deserved it 38 573

Today, I had to drive my grandmother to the emergency room. I periodically tried to call my parents but neither of them picked up, even when I called the house. We sat there for 6 hours and still no one took her to a room, and no response. Mom finally called back, only to tell me to get her a pack of cigarettes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 471

You deserved it 76

Today, after almost two months, I almost finished sorting through my boyfriend's Magic: The Gathering cards. He has been collecting them for 10 years and never bothered to keep them organised. The box of Mythic Rare cards that I was saving till last is missing. I remember exactly where it was, and no one has seen it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 168

Today, I was walking to my friends Halloween themed birthday party in my zombie costume. Apparently, my crazy coke addicted neighbor found the costume too realistic. He tackled me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 469

You deserved it 38