By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Spicy
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

s0m3guy2010 21

It is always safer to put a condom on before making love to yourself.

294 3
thacar 1

Why impress people like that? If I saw the condom I would be disgusted, not impressed!

258 9

Comments

99megster 15

I'm going to assume that op is living with his parents. Does he really think they will be proud and/or impressed when they find a used condom in the garbage?

12 3
Im_MrSoloDolo 2

This app is getting less and less funny

13 2
flipcrazy 0

From my experience the only people who would be impressed or even really care about whether or not you have an active sex life are teenagers and virgins

13 2
ashtonlm 3

Wow that's pitiful sorry to say it but it is...

3 6
neets332 2

Whatever makes you feel good hun. no judgment

2 4
TeddyB88 4

You're never gonna get laid with that attitude. Side note dude, never lie on your dick. The girl you tell that to will find out if it comes to that point and then your rep will be shit. Especially the slutty ones talk and will put your " non virgin" performance out there

5 6
suckmylife669 0

What do you say when someone asks you who you dd it with? What are you going to say? Your left hand?

9 0
peachyFML 17

No, his right hand.

5 0
SweetJTBR 22

Dude, that is just sad. Who do you have to prove that to anyways? I'm a virgin myself and I don't do such things. There's no need for it. It will happen someday, relax. :) P.S.: I know 'Tis be odd coming from a guy who just said he's a virgin but, hey, it's true!

17 2
IOmnomHard 10

I'm thoroughly disappointed in your misuse of 'tis. :(

8 3
TeddyB88 4

I'm with him on that. If you were to use tis In that statement, take out "be" so it shows " tis odd".

3 3
Dracoboxer357 35

Hey, 48 and 67: 37 didn't use Tis well, okay, fine. Did you happen to notice he actually said something else that was note worthy and completely correct IMHO? :) I agree with you, 37, it isn't that big of a deal and it will likely happen eventually if Op wants it too. There is no need for shallow displays of false sexual evidence. :p Kudos for you to stand up and say so though. :)

9 2