Intimacy: Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy...

By homewrecker - 01/08/2009 13:44 - United States

Today, I woke up from a night of crazy drunken sex with a guy I had met at a friends 23rd birthday party. The lights had been off when we had stumbled in to his house the night before. When I opened my eyes today, the first thing I saw was his family picture, complete with his wife and son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 077

You deserved it 64 032

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Same thing different taste

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 186

You deserved it 91 572

By StiffPvtParts - 04/06/2019 18:00

Today, after a night of drinking, I awoke in the early hours of the morning to a sight of my roommate playing with my penis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 241

You deserved it 301

Party hard

By Jason the flasher - 15/09/2018 22:00

Today, I went to a party that my friends were throwing. I had a great time and got blackout drunk. I woke up to videos from my girlfriend from last night. At some point I'd managed to take off my shorts and boxers and spent the rest of the party naked from the waist down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 399

You deserved it 3 263

By holyshitbatman - 22/09/2012 14:06 - United States - Chicago

Today, I woke up naked next to my gay roommate after a night of drinking. Neither he nor I remember anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 532

You deserved it 29 767

By scatter00x - 08/02/2009 05:39 - United States

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 095

You deserved it 7 096

By Madmanmorton - 16/06/2011 18:34 - United States

Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 148

You deserved it 47 306

By Sleep Walking - 23/01/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 897

You deserved it 9 225

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 338

You deserved it 9 837

Waste moment

By Anonymous - 10/02/2020 20:00

Today, I went out drinking with my friends and my boyfriend met me there. We decided then to come home and planned an intimate moment. I got on top of him and went to kiss his neck. Next thing I know, I fell asleep right before we started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 999

You deserved it 1 349

Work harder

By zep - 07/06/2009 11:41 - United States

Today, I was hard at work cleaning up from a party I had while my parents were out for the night. Not a bottle of beer or a red cup was left for them to find. However, my parents did find two of my friends in their bedroom, still passed out and naked from beer and sex last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 357

You deserved it 79 666

lmmmr 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 19:30

Don't have sex with people you don't know.

kthxdie 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 19:32

At least you didn't wake up to his wife and kids in person.

Comments

JournalKeeper 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 22:29

yo ass shouldn't have gotten drunk.

c6dragster 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 22:44

why wasnt his wife there all night?

GlobalB 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 22:50

Sure 24 (JarJar). In my opinion, based on only what I know from the FML, she isn't a ****. Admittedly having sex with someone on the first night you meet them especially when drunk isn't a suggested option, but it happens. I wouldn't quite call it a mistake since she doesn't regret having the sex just who it turned out being with, but it wouldn't be enough in my eyes to call her a ****. And I only meant casual in the sense that it was non-commital, not basing it off of being the first time. But at the same time, I would call a girl a **** if she continually slept with numerous guys upon first meets, and this wasn't a rare event. These things happen, especially when alcohol is involved, and you can't judge a person based off of one night's events. It's a very thin line and hard to explain since it's highly circumstantial, but this one "accident" does not qualify the brand of a **** to me, unless, as I said, this is nowhere near the first time this has happened.

seantgla 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 22:52

YDI. And there's nothing more unattractive that a man or woman who has lost control of the faculties. Might want to try AA.

mike1921 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 22:56

AA, for getting drunk once? That's absolutely ridiculous.

dude85 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 22:56

wow can you say *****?

lmmmr 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 22:57

I don't blame her for ruining the marriage. That's 100% on him. I blame her for putting herself in the situation to unknowingly sleep with married men in the first place. I don't think she's a ****, that's not for me to say, but when you sleep with people you don't know, you have to expect consequences. Claiming FML is not accepting the consequences. Therefore, YDI.

queenkiwinc 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 23:11

Too bad you were not prepared for this. I'm used to it. When I have a boyfriend I always cheat. Sometimes they are married or in a relationship. I don't care because I'm not equipped to handle a grown up relationship anyway. So for me sleeping with married men is ok. I just hate the idea of my bible-thumping Mother finding out. She would beat me.

Hyozanryu 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 23:16

I hope to god she finds out and beats the living **** out of you.

lmmmr 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 23:22

Moron. If you are not equipped to handle a grown up relationship, then don't get into relationships. It may not be your responsibility to ensure the fidelity of others, but you must be a degenerate, compassionless troll to knowingly and enthusiastically cause pain to others time and time again. I hope that an STD catches up with you and you can no longer impose yourself as society's responsibility.

sublime93 0

Sunday 2 August 2009 3:26

I think that might have been sarcasm

Bullshet 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 17:57

Is that how you justify being a knowing accomplice in cheating?? How about thinking about other people for once besides yourself. Sounds like you're not able to handle most grown up things.

Bullshet 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 18:05

mike1921 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 23:31

How is she the accomplice? She's the perp, and I guess the accomplice to the other person cheating. But I don't see how you could point that out over her cheating on her boyfriend.

just_kidding 0

Saturday 1 August 2009 23:11

What did you expect ? Maybe he is not the good guy type but you're not in a position to blame him. Those who have their lives f***ed are his wife and child.