Intimacy: Today, my 18 year old son learned that just because his girlfriend... - FML

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By erphy21 - 26/09/2015 20:44 - United States - Lompoc

Spicy

Today, my 18 year old son learned that just because his girlfriend was on top doesn't mean gravity will prevent her from becoming pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 081

You deserved it 6 297

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Same thing different taste

Bad student at the school of life

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 00:00

Spicy

Today, despite spending literal years educating my son about safe sex and warning him not to do something stupid like get a girl pregnant at 16, he actually surpassed my expectations. He got her pregnant at 17. Plus she gave him a nasty STD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 401

You deserved it 240

By Anonymous - 22/10/2014 16:09 - Norway - Egersund

Today, my 17-year-old son managed to easily convince my 13-year-old daughter that if you have sex before getting married, you'll instantly get horrible diseases that will kill you. Her freaking out is how I found out she's not only gullible as hell, but sexually active as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 316

You deserved it 6 070

By fucked by sex ed - 29/03/2013 17:18 - United States - Manchester

Today, my 19-year-old son told me his girlfriend is pregnant, and was diagnosed with an STD. He's sure that he's the father. He's also sure he doesn't have an STD, because he's a virgin. I had to give him the sex talk that his school never did, as well as explain to him that his girlfriend is a cheater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 884

You deserved it 17 017

By SadMother - 04/10/2014 19:52 - United States - South Windsor

Spicy

Today, I overheard my daughter talking to her boyfriend over the phone about having sex. She said, "You have to piss on me to get me pregnant, that's what I heard anyway." She's 16. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 914

You deserved it 11 959

Noob

By Anonymous - 11/05/2015 17:08 - Denmark - Randers

Spicy

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 899

You deserved it 6 052

Bad grandparenting

By Anonymous - 24/12/2024 23:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my youngest, the 17 year-old, told me she’s pregnant. That makes it official: despite all my warnings about safe sex, all three of my daughters got pregnant before the age of 18. FML

I agree, your life sucks 438

You deserved it 362

By Anonymous - 17/12/2013 21:57 - Egypt

Spicy

Today, my teenage daughter found out that she's pregnant, but insists she's still a virgin. Who does she think knocked her up? God? FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 155

You deserved it 7 780

Sex Ed is broken

By asnolt - 24/05/2011 22:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I had to explain to my sobbing teenage daughter why you can't get pregnant from masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 735

You deserved it 9 381

By Anonymous - 04/10/2012 15:17 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Spicy

Today, I yet again had to explain to my boyfriend that, yes, I can get pregnant even if I don't actually have an orgasm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 060

You deserved it 4 242

My kid, the playa

By baldiesmom - 29/08/2021 08:01

Spicy

Today, I learned that my 18-year-old son has had more sexual partners together at one time than I've had separately in total in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 192

You deserved it 229

Next

Top comments

zharks1010 18

Sunday 27 September 2015 15:29

Your son is a dumbass

pokemyeyes 23

Sunday 27 September 2015 15:30

#facepalm

Comments

trucker2 33

Sunday 27 September 2015 21:55

Ok..just...maybe... He was yelling, for her to get up, and she assumed Giddy-Up...lmao

extremereviews 26

Sunday 27 September 2015 22:26

Kill it before it breads... Oh wait

Tonymac617 16

Sunday 27 September 2015 22:46

Looks like someone didn't have "the talk" with your son....

DogeDogeDoge 13

Sunday 27 September 2015 22:54

I honestly find it hard to believe that this FML is real because I've heard a joke very similar to this throughout school forever.

Manic1 13

Sunday 27 September 2015 23:15

Guess you should have had the talk with him sooner. Congrats on becoming a grandparent though

jennilm1816 9

Sunday 27 September 2015 23:44

if you had properly educated him, she might still be pregnant, but not for that stupid reason!

wordygirl 11

Sunday 27 September 2015 23:48

Wow! Next thing ya know this dufus will say if he doesn't put a diaper on the baby it won't go potty:/ These yingyangs are going to need alot of help I'm afraid.

thatsme293 28

Monday 28 September 2015 1:36

I bet your just understood but just acted on the chance of what he wanted to hear was correct.

lia4005 17

Monday 28 September 2015 1:39

More like F her life! She's the one impregnated by a moron...

leogachi 15

Tuesday 29 September 2015 0:58

@130 She agreed to have unprotected sex, so she probably thought it was true.

writerchic85 25

Monday 28 September 2015 2:16

Idiocracy is becoming a true story

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The Top

Today, I nervously went to the store to buy condoms for the first time. I felt like everything was going well, and checked out happily. As I was walking out, the cashier lady said to the woman next in line, "He thinks he's going to need condoms." They both looked at me and started laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 179

You deserved it 222

Today, I went down on my boyfriend, and tried out a new trick I learned. I read in a magazine that if you hum while giving oral, it's supposed to feel good. My boyfriend started laughing and told me to stop after 30 seconds because I reminded him of his singing toothbrush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 133

You deserved it 10 539

The Top

Today, my fiancé, his mother, my father and I went out to celebrate my birthday and our recent engagement. After dinner, my father and future mother-in-law revealed to us that they had secretly been dating and were talking about also getting married. Anybody want cake? FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 653

You deserved it 3 133

Today, I felt motivated to eat healthier, so I bought a bunch of vegetables. When I got home, I ordered some Burger King, all because I didn’t want to "waste the vegetables by cooking them wrong." Now the veggies are inevitably going bad in the fridge while I wait for my delivery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 703

Today, a colleague was talking about how she'd made some tomato sauce from scratch for her dad, but then he died before she could give it to him. I said she should have put it in the casket with him so the cremation would've been a real barbeque. My filter is broken. FML

I agree, your life sucks 243

You deserved it 3 510

Today, I’ve been unemployed for 5 months. My last job was for government in Canada and I was harassed by management, and deemed a threat to the building. Why? Someone complained I cough. I’ve been coughing for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 108

Today, my boyfriend gave me a long, philosophical explanation about how he doesn't love me, but we should still have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 864

You deserved it 3 871

Today, when going to fill up the kettle, I noticed a bad smell and pieces of something coming out of the tap. Turns out there was a dead snake in my water supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 686

You deserved it 2 173