Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually... - FML

By Anonymous - 29/06/2013 15:09 - United States - Beacon

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 052

You deserved it 7 039

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Username - 25/05/2011 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I looked pretty. I said, "Aww, that's the first time you've said that to me." He replied, "Well, it's the first time you've looked pretty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 409

You deserved it 9 599

PDA FML

By Anonymous - 13/07/2024 09:00 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, after asking my boyfriend multiple times to be more kind and romantic, he looked at me lovingly and said, "You know, you look pretty sometimes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 165

Thanks

By lucy_g - 02/11/2013 05:06 - United States

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend, feeling pretty low. I said something along the lines of, "You like me even when I look like shit." He replied, "Ah, that's just how you naturally look." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 149

You deserved it 7 307

By Anonymous - 16/08/2014 02:16 - Australia - Notting Hill

Today, my boyfriend told me he loved me. I asked why, and he said, "Because sometimes you look good, and you buy me stuff." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 968

You deserved it 7 246

Anticlimactic

By Ray - 31/12/2020 16:58

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me I'm the best lay of his life. I really wish I could say the same about him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 338

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 13:19 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend told me the reason he can't keep an erection while we have sex is that I'm not attractive enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 912

You deserved it 4 724

By PlayboyBunny - 19/02/2011 07:20 - United States

Spicy

Today, the sweetest thing my boyfriend ever told me was that I'd make a good porn star. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 632

You deserved it 8 640

How lovely

By Lisa - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States - Bayside

Today, my boyfriend told me that the main reason he was dating me was because he was intimidated by pretty girls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 466

You deserved it 2 422

Focus!

By gwengas - 30/07/2014 06:51 - France - Saint-ouen-des-alleux

Today, while out with my boyfriend, I gave a beggar some cash, who then smiled at me and said to my boyfriend, "You have a beautiful little lady, take good care of her." Flattered, I hoped my boyfriend would agree with the compliment. He turned and said, "Hear that? He said you were little." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 179

You deserved it 5 288

The eye of the beholder

By Alexea Luton - 11/11/2019 01:00

Today, my boyfriend compared me to an unattractive actress. When I said it was sort of messed up to say that to me since she's not pretty, he said, "She's not as bad as you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 019

You deserved it 334

Next

Top comments

Psychicgirl17 18

Saturday 29 June 2013 19:31

What a dick. Dump his ass

SWhimsynBubbaS 14

Saturday 29 June 2013 19:32

You mean your ex-boyfriend?

Comments

Jjimen1654 9

Sunday 30 June 2013 0:16

He has a point. I mean hes sure not gonna get you in the mood by calling you ugly.

LissaMccracken 23

Sunday 30 June 2013 1:42

Yeah, because every time a guy tells me I'm pretty, I tear off my clothes... He has no point. Just shut up

CharresBarkrey 15

Sunday 30 June 2013 2:42

And because everyone knows the ONLY way to get a girl in the mood is by telling her she's pretty...

Rm85RIDER11 12

Sunday 30 June 2013 0:58

Dump his ass.

enterthedragon97 1

Sunday 30 June 2013 2:11

nobody assumes OP just has thin skin and the boyfriend was just joking with her? "well how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" sounds like a joke. Hopefully for him, he's not dating a girl he doesn't think is pretty, so chill.

Mr_Loudmouth 9

Sunday 30 June 2013 2:57

Was this before o's after you refused to give him a bj because its sick and demeaning? Could be the other side of the story from above post

trbuson 11

Sunday 30 June 2013 3:57

He sounds very pretty. Pretty pathetic that is.

theworldisflat 8

Sunday 30 June 2013 4:28

Wow dump him now OP...before me every guy my gf dated did the same thing so now I do my best every time we are together to make sure she knows just how beautiful I think she really is never settle for someone who isn't actually attracted to you

chuckcloninger 12

Sunday 30 June 2013 5:11

You picked this loser and I don't imagine he suddenly got worse did he? Time to move on.

BabyGirlJr1 11

Sunday 30 June 2013 5:28

what a dosche

BelfastNuts 15

Sunday 30 June 2013 6:43

Fair play to him I reckon. He told the truth, best way to be.

srt1087 6

Sunday 30 June 2013 9:01

Well played sir

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The Top

Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 250

You deserved it 207

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. I was in the middle of an intense orgasm when we heard the panicky voice of his little sister saying there was an emergency downstairs. He jumped up and left to see what the matter was. The big emergency? The Wii remotes had dead batteries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 169

You deserved it 9 445

The Top

Today, I thought I’d get revenge on my cheating husband by seducing the woman he’s been seeing behind my back. Unfortunately, even though I’ve never been attracted to women, I’ve inexplicably fallen head over heels in love with her. What now? FML

I agree, your life sucks 127

You deserved it 897

Today, while practicing a song in choir, I got a boner. Trying to cover it up, I tried sitting down. My choir teacher got mad and made me stand in front of the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 422

You deserved it 10 112

Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 191

You deserved it 7 388

Today, while pumping gas, I stopped to think about what a failure my life is, and how badly I've treated people in my past. While deep in thought, I accidentally pulled the gas pump out too far and covered myself with gasoline. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 548

You deserved it 25 444

Today, I sent a forward to the ladies at my office. When I scrolled down I noticed my personal emails from my best friend were attached. They go into great detail about the sex I had last night, when I was planning on dumping my boyfriend, and that I suspected I had an anal fissure. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 744

You deserved it 61 375

Today, my dad decided to test if Nerf guns actually hurt by sneaking up on me and shooting me with one. He missed; however, when he shot at me again, he hit my cat on my lap, causing my poor cat to run away. After desperately trying to apologize to my cat, he then shot at me a THIRD time, nailing me in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 953

You deserved it 160