Love: Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie... - FML

By Anonymous - 04/02/2010 08:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that in the event of a zombie apocalypse, he'd kill me before I got infected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 792

You deserved it 7 817

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Same thing different taste

Good to know

By DeadScared - 19/09/2011 00:23 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend kindly informed me that if I ever got bitten during a zombie apocalypse, he'd love me enough to beat me to death with a tire iron. He said this because he's been having vivid dreams about it happening. I honestly don't know whether he's joking or not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 015

You deserved it 3 567

By Anonymous - 21/08/2015 19:02 - United States - Minneapolis

Today, I overheard my husband telling his friend that he wished a zombie apocalypse would happen in real life, so he could take me out back and shoot me without having to worry about going to prison. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 566

You deserved it 2 628

By Anonymous - 24/08/2012 21:10 - United Kingdom - Walsall

Today, a baseball bat fell on my head while my boyfriend and I were cuddling. The same baseball bat that he keeps next to the bed, because he genuinely fears a zombie outbreak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 3 875

By zombieguyswife - 28/06/2012 23:44 - United States - Branson

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 085

You deserved it 3 983

By Abendigo77 - 14/01/2013 04:49 - United States - Healdsburg

Today, my vegan boyfriend told me that if he were forced to kill either his cat or me, he'd kill me because he "would never kill an animal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 565

You deserved it 6 842

By sabrinatarmine_ - 22/07/2013 02:35 - United States - Carmel Valley

Today, I told my boyfriend I had diabetes. He won't talk to me anymore because he thinks I'll infect him with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 624

You deserved it 4 070

By TBTC - 31/08/2012 07:16 - France - Le G?vre

Today, I was out apartment hunting with my boyfriend. We visited a marvelous place that ticked all the boxes on our requirement checklist, but my boyfriend was unenthused. There was just one small detail that I hadn’t factored in: it's very badly located if ever zombies attack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 407

You deserved it 5 424

By purged - 08/06/2013 23:43 - United States - Mechanicsville

Today, my boyfriend and I watched the new movie "The Purge." After the movie, I jokingly asked him that if the U.S. had such a purge in real life, would he participate, and who would he kill first. Without missing a beat, he said, "you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 067

You deserved it 8 647

By drake86 - 09/01/2013 16:42 - United Kingdom - Helensburgh

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 929

You deserved it 33 065

Wuss

By scaredy cat - 09/08/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend is completely obsessed with zombie and horror movies. I don’t care what he watches, the only problem is the big wuss has horrible thrashing nightmares. Last night he thrashed so hard, he elbowed me in the face. I have a big swollen purple knot right on my forehead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 570

You deserved it 183

Next

Top comments

damienwatkins 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:06

how cute

Rota 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 16:07

That's love.

Comments

starzchick 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 19:35

who gives a shit? Like that's ever going to happen. ugh..OP you owe me 7 seconds of my life back from reading your retarded, pointless post.

udonttouchme 0

Friday 5 February 2010 4:29

it took u five mins to read this o-o

AttitudeMel 4

Thursday 4 February 2010 19:37

Dom't you love horror movies when it takes forever for the caracters to realise that the walking ppl with deadly injuries are actually living deads?Don't believe in zombies but with all the movies made of this subject I hope I would get it a little faster :)

z3r0nline 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 19:38

wtf ur boyfriend is just gay that's all

ColdGold 6

Thursday 4 February 2010 19:42

He says that now, but if it really happened . . . you'd already be dead.

heartlessagony 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 19:44

Love is kind ;D

vtsocks 2

Thursday 4 February 2010 20:03

He is your boyfriend an you know he is into SiFi. I see it as a romantic gesture...not an FML

skwirl420 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 20:10

all is fair in love and zombies

RockTheArts2007 3

Thursday 4 February 2010 20:25

Sad day. I would rather fight the zombies of the apocalyse than be killed. Have him kill you only if you get infected.

Personsen 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 20:26

So you want to go through the pains of becoming a zombie?! You should thank him, tell him how sweet he is, and make out with him.

iabty 0

Friday 5 February 2010 6:34

Yeah, I hope I'll have someone to that for me. Silly OP :P

arissia 0

Thursday 4 February 2010 20:35

That's cute! I realize there are better ways of showing his affection, but still!

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The Top

Today, my kitchen sink was clogged. I poured a bottle of Drano down and came back two hours later. The clog is still there, but the glue on the pipe is not and now there is Drano-water all over the floor, staining and dissolving everything in my kitchen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 856

You deserved it 7 517

Today, I tried reaching out to a brand on Instagram, telling them I'm a rising influencer and would love a free sample of some of their products to review. They replied back with a laughing emoji and "You have 44 followers. Eat shit." Then they posted it on their story, with my name listed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 1 345

The Top

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for cheating on her. Her "proof" was an image of me making out with a girl. Pretty damning, except she loaded it up in Photoshop, where I saw the image layers she'd used to fake the whole thing. I'm not sure what the hell she was thinking either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 845

You deserved it 3 964

Today, my boyfriend gave me an ultimatum: either cancel my amazing work trip or stay with him. I chose the trip and he assured me he’d be gone by the time I got back. His issue? My boss thought it’d be cheaper to get an AirBnB instead of getting us all hotel rooms, and that men are also going. FML

I agree, your life sucks 782

You deserved it 247

Today, whilst showing my kids how to replace a light bulb safely, I gave myself and electric shock, and dropped the bulb. Twice in a row. In hindsight I should have let my husband do all the DIY-based educating, since I now have a glass shard in my big toe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 599

Today, I called the police to report that my car had been keyed. I remember going to a bar last night and getting drunk. A surveillance camera revealed that after my drunken self couldn't unlock the door to my car, I punched the door and hurt my fist so bad that I keyed my own car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 782

You deserved it 54 775

Today, after drastically changing my diet, going to the gym regularly, avoiding excess sugar and carbs, upping my protein, I’m still as fat as ever. In fact I weighed myself this morning, and I’ve gained 12lbs in 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 152

Today, I celebrated my birthday. My brother's girlfriend gave me a few snide comments about the choice of music and my dress. Then she teased me about not having a boyfriend. By the way, I haven't had a relationship in five years because I'm still traumatized from past domestic abuse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 540

You deserved it 87