Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch,...

By fuckadaisical - 06/12/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Pontypridd

Today, my boyfriend's idea of foreplay was to offer to make lunch, leave the room for a few minutes, then come back with no clothes on and offer me a "cockmeat sandwich". FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 445

You deserved it 8 904

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Same thing different taste

Kinky

By sandwichsex - 08/08/2009 22:39 - United States

Today, me and my boyfriend were fooling around on my bed when things started to get heated. I said to him, "Do what ever you want". He got up and said he'd be right back. I thought he went to get a condom. He came back with a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 187

You deserved it 12 023

Dirty talk

By Username - 24/02/2010 15:06

Today, as I was in the middle of giving my boyfriend head, he looked at me and said "Eat that cockmeat sandwich." He seriously thought it was a turn on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 789

You deserved it 4 770

By fmysexlife - 27/07/2009 05:06 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I was really horny. He then gave me the link to his favorite "porn". He said I should do it for him. It was a youtube video of some girl making a sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 642

You deserved it 15 441

Sensual world

By Anonymous - 16/10/2015 15:05 - United Kingdom - Eastleigh

Today, I had to explain to my boyfriend about the importance of foreplay, and that attempting to get me "in the mood" by whipping his cock out and air humping was roughly equivalent to throwing a dry teabag at me and claiming he made a cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 248

You deserved it 3 011

Hangry sex

By Krissy - 06/04/2012 02:11 - United States

Today, during sex, my boyfriend stopped and asked if he could eat a sandwich while we do it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 187

You deserved it 4 860

Break time

By Samantha K - 19/10/2020 20:08

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend when he stopped and got dressed. Naked and confused, I figured he’d be right back. Yeah, 20 minutes later with a plate of food for himself. So much for sex. It would've been nice if he told me though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 624

You deserved it 210

How could you?

By datingmrpicky - 22/08/2011 03:44 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me he wouldn't have sex with me because yesterday I ate a sandwich in his bed and got crumbs in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 510

You deserved it 37 000

By sissydlk - 02/12/2010 15:54 - United States

Today, my wonderful boyfriend asked me if I wanted him to cook me scrambled eggs with sausage for breakfast. When I said yes, he pulled out his junk, and started shaking it violently in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 285

You deserved it 10 377

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 573

You deserved it 5 722

By notsohot - 25/08/2019 00:01

Today, I showed up at my boyfriend's house with nothing under my coat but some sexy lingerie. He told me he was working on an assignment, and made me wait three hours before he'd have sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 336

You deserved it 2 307

niatross 16

Saturday 7 December 2013 1:54

Well did you like it

Nyx_fml 23

Saturday 7 December 2013 1:56

It's sweet that he cares about keeping you well-fed.

Comments

SkoomAddicted 17

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:02

Does his nickname happen to be "Big Bob"?

kingkevin2001 9

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:04

A wise woman once said: " Close your eyes and pretend it's a banana,".

Tressa1982 18

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:07

Lol that would be awesome!

countrygirl109 11

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:14

It could've been worse..

maggiefox 25

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:17

I'm still waiting for the bad part in all this???

martin8337 35

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:17

It has a protein filling.

martin8337 35

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:19

Was it a meal or an appetizer?

jeffsaint 3

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:24

I fail to see the problem

speakersboom 19

Saturday 14 December 2013 4:11

plot twist: she's vegetarian.

blayzie420 7

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:28

did you eat it at least? its not nice to turn food down..

weveallbeenthere 30

Saturday 7 December 2013 4:28

hope you enjoyed your meal

Keywords

Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 52 566

You deserved it 4 164

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, when he finished, seemingly angry. He stood there naked complaining for 15 minutes about how our sex sucked. Then he demanded that I dress him, because "it's my fault his clothes were off in the first place". FML

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You deserved it 5 663

The Top

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You deserved it 30 626

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I agree, your life sucks 33 348

You deserved it 4 029

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I agree, your life sucks 5 035

You deserved it 837

In all seriousness, be safe out there guys!

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You deserved it 160

Today, it was my engagement party. All was going fabulously, until my fiancé's dad decided to give us a toast, and completely forgot my name in front of all my family and friends. I've been with his son for 7 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 066

You deserved it 3 129

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I agree, your life sucks 14 516

You deserved it 1 597