Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like...

By Snufflopagus - 01/01/2014 13:26 - United States - Lynnwood

Today, my boyfriend told me that sometimes my nipples taste like onions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 468

You deserved it 10 587

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 16/01/2009 20:43 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 626

You deserved it 6 660

By omgboobs - 23/12/2009 02:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me that when my nipples are hard, he thinks that they look like giant zits, and when he squeezes them, he imagines them popping pus. He then reached for my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 925

You deserved it 2 770

Finger lickin'

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Brecksville

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 591

You deserved it 43 864

By Anonymous - 24/08/2010 07:29 - United States

Today, my boyfriend compared my boobs to a flat tire. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 408

You deserved it 7 160

To each his own

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 14:00

Today, during sex, my boyfriend found it appropriate to tell me he loves "how bad" I smell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 231

By isoheartcaitlin - 25/08/2009 03:34 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling after getting it on a few times. He holds my face in his hands, looks deep into my eyes and says "I smell chicken." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 370

You deserved it 6 162

By weezer - 21/02/2011 13:07 - United States

Today, my boyfriend walked in on me in the bathroom. That's how he found out that I wax my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 240

You deserved it 30 446

By hannah12345 - 26/02/2010 17:54 - France

Today, my mother walked in on my boyfriend licking whipped cream off my nipples. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 812

You deserved it 31 849

By hdgyfjdzdfg - 16/04/2012 06:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like his grandma's house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 071

You deserved it 4 909

By sore - 04/01/2010 11:30 - France

Today, I woke up with bruised nipples because apparently my boyfriend likes to excessively play with them while I sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 769

You deserved it 3 875

thatnucca 36

Wednesday 1 January 2014 19:15

Sometimes we really are what we eat... Might wanna check your diet then OP...

how_about_no_ 19

Wednesday 1 January 2014 19:16

Well, does he like onions...? It could be a compliment

Comments

daniel_2209 12

Wednesday 1 January 2014 20:50

Make him onion rings

the_real_dvd 21

Wednesday 1 January 2014 20:50

Maybe he's trying to tell you that your breasts are so fine they bring tears to his eyes.

BFons 19

Wednesday 1 January 2014 20:55

What kind of onions?

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 1 January 2014 20:58

Get some Tanqueray gin, dry vermouth and make your own Gibson!

saocrates 16

Wednesday 1 January 2014 20:59

Sometimes? So what's it taste like the other times?

Omniprism 14

Wednesday 1 January 2014 21:01

I bet it's based on what you ate. Eat more sweets.

IXChaosDragonXI 13

Wednesday 1 January 2014 21:10

Is it because they make him cry?

jefrey 9

Wednesday 1 January 2014 21:25

Dont feel bad, some guys love onions, like me, im always lick 'em, bite 'em & eat 'em all

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 1 January 2014 21:38

For a little foreplay maybe you could have a small salad on your breast(s)...

FMLcommenterer 13

Thursday 2 January 2014 2:11

What do you mean breast(s)? I'm pretty sure every woman has two boobs. Correct me if I'm wrong.

Quasita 26

Thursday 2 January 2014 4:20

Single mastectomy patients. Boom.

MixMastaKDizzle 12

Wednesday 1 January 2014 21:49

Keywords

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Today, I got married. My husband and I had been waiting until marriage to have sex, and when the time came, we started to undress. As I took my bra off, his eyes glazed over, and he fainted. An hour later, all he could say was, "I don't think we're meant to be together." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 404

You deserved it 9 609

Today, I lost half my friends and was kicked out of my Star Wars club, all because I said that The Acolyte is unwatchable trash. Apparently that makes me "an alt-right Trump-humper." Whatever that means. FML

I agree, your life sucks 436

You deserved it 147

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I got into a huge fight. She kicked me out of the apartment and told me to never come back. Devastated, I waited outside of the apartment door for hours, hoping she'd reconsider. I ended up falling asleep. I woke up to her foot stomping on me, screaming, "I meant it!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 022

You deserved it 8 833

Today, my 5-year-old cousin came over. We were on the trampoline in my backyard when he fell off and started crying and screaming. While I was trying to comfort him, my mom came out yelling at me for "pushing him off the trampoline" and grounded me for a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 418

You deserved it 382

Today, a drunk driver drove his car through my mailbox. He got pissed, started yelling, and threatened to sue me for "putting the mailbox in the middle of the road". If my front lawn is a road, I'm going to have some serious issues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 389

You deserved it 2 750

Today, during an argument with my daughter she screamed "everyone hates you!" and stormed off. I flopped down on the couch in frustration where the cat jumped on my lap. "You love me, don't you?" I asked the cat. She crapped on my leg and went to my daughter's room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 348

You deserved it 6 848

Today, I had a terrible dream where my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex. I woke up almost crying and called him just to tell him how much he means to me. Turns out my dream gave him that little extra push he needed to confess he's been cheating on me. With his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 809

You deserved it 4 792

Today, I arrived at my parents house for dinner. When I got there, I noticed that they had gay pride flags hanging from the porch, and gay rights bumper stickers plastered to their cars. There was also a huge "We accept you, Nick" banner hanging from the garage. I'M NOT GAY! FML

I agree, your life sucks 93 251

You deserved it 6 397

Same thing different taste

Finger lickin'

To each his own

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