Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it...

By Henry - 11/11/2011 22:29 - Norway

Today, my girlfriend agreed to doing it doggy style. During it all, I pulled on her hair. I guess I pulled too hard, because when I let go, her face smacked straight into the bedside table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 976

You deserved it 45 796

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Summer anecdotes where the sun shines... and blunders are never far away! More…

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Same thing different taste

By dontpanic - 21/09/2009 19:08 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was getting up to leave and I, trying to be romantic, got up behind her and tried to swing her back down onto the bed and kiss her simultaneously, misjudged the distance and threw her into the wall, her head then bounced off the wall and into my forehead, spraining her nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 497

You deserved it 26 950

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 815

You deserved it 127

By Ouch - 25/04/2011 19:31 - Canada

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate and planning on having sex for the first time. I picked her up off the couch, and in so doing, accidentally lifted her too high, putting her head through the ceiling. She had a mild concussion. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 743

You deserved it 20 688

Girl boss

By dating walter white's gf apparently - 06/04/2013 19:13 - United Kingdom

Today, while going down on my girlfriend, I finally managed to give her an orgasm. During that orgasm, she tore out a clump of my hair, causing me to scream in pain. She scowled and said, "Ah shut it, ya little bitch." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 107

You deserved it 13 415

By Chels - 24/05/2019 04:00

Today, I was giving my boyfriend oral, and he got so into it that he grabbed my hair. Just as he was about to climax, he pulled my hair so hard that my extensions came out. I jerked back and hit my head on the wall behind me. He then came in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 342

You deserved it 565

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 988

You deserved it 7 500

New moves

By Glassjaw - 01/08/2009 07:23 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I had gotten tipsy and found ourselves in the bedroom. We started to fool around and she leaned over to put her watch on the nightstand. I tried to undo her bra, which surprised her, because she elbowed me in the nose so hard that I ended up passing out from the pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 145

You deserved it 7 997

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 655

You deserved it 3 295

Repetitive

By justgreat - 24/03/2012 02:30 - United States - Opa Locka

Today, my girlfriend fell asleep while giving me head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 582

You deserved it 6 211

Romantic move

By soomeone - 16/02/2010 19:28 - United States

Today, I went to the movies with my girlfriend. As I started putting my arm around her, I hit her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 680

You deserved it 25 639

goldfishgod 20

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:08

Down, boy.

Randuhh_17 4

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:14

Should've had a v8...

Comments

AzWolf 5

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:34

All sounds good to me.

Iceman225 11

Tuesday 16 July 2013 10:00

Thats cause youre an old perv.

JinxosGirl87 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:45

No more doggy style for you!

AsianCookie247 14

Saturday 12 November 2011 11:41

Too late ^ you just creeped.

N3766 20

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:52

me so horny, me love love u for long time... and smashed your head against the table...

ROTFLMAOLDM 13

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:23

XD LMFAO!

1JDub 6

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:53

Damn homie...its a chick not a horse....whooooaaa there Nellie. F your future sex life!

Donniehw 5

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:56

The song for this story is: alpha dog by fallout boy... Or: what a catch, Donnie by fall out boy either one is good

WeAreAHurricane 14

Saturday 12 November 2011 5:45

Although I have an old embarrassing love for FOB....why are you making an FML playlist? -.-

Krystaliph 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:59

Smooth.

Donniehw 5

Saturday 12 November 2011 2:59

WTF does it say it's 3 o clock on 11/12/11 when it's 8 o clock on 11/11/11?

Ins0mau 20

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:53

Time zones?

Awesomehobo44 3

Sunday 13 November 2011 5:55

Random and off topic much??

ohmandapants 16

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:01

She JUST agreed to doggy, way to ruin the experience for her.

erinrenee1137 0

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:05

I bet I can guess what you won't be doing anymore :p

ferosogra 1

Saturday 12 November 2011 3:06

I had the same problem

Keywords

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The Top

Today, my daughter asked me for permission to go to her boyfriend’s studio apartment without any supervision to “watch a soccer game and eat pizza.” I said no because she thinks I was born yesterday. She proceeded to throw a tantrum and told me that she hopes my breast cancer kills me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 181

Today, during an argument with my fiancé, I threw my engagement ring on the ground. The center stone broke off. Now he's couch surfing, and has sworn that he won't marry me unless I can find the stone. One stupid moment might actually ruin my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 69

You deserved it 1 194

The Top

Today, I was hanging out with a guy I liked. We sat in the gardens, me facing the path, him with his back to it. We were in deep conversation when I noticed a dog that looked exactly like mine. Then I looked up and saw a man that looked like my dad. Yes - my parents followed me on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 112

You deserved it 3 720

Today, I stepped away from my desk for a few minutes only to return to find the general manager installing updates on my computer. This wouldn't have been an issue had I not pulled up a website explaining in great detail the effects and causes of vaginal yeast infections. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 956

You deserved it 30 746

Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 964

You deserved it 35 782

Today, I decided to tell my mother what I thought about religion. I've been raised catholic. I told her I was converting to Wicca, to which she sort of nodded and walked away. I went into my room to study with my earbuds in, music loud. I walked out to see a cross nailed above my door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 981

You deserved it 34 841

Today, I hate sleeping late because then the day will be over like 9 hours after I get up. Turns out, though, if I get up real early, it’s me who'll be over after about 9 hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 124

Today, I told my conservative friends over dinner that I was a bit of a liberal. They then went off on me about how liberals are lazy, stupid, and a financial burden on society. I was the only employed person at the table with a college degree and not living with my parents. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 384

You deserved it 373