Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Wales

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 186

You deserved it 24 246

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Same thing different taste

I can't help it

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 17:47 - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 238

You deserved it 11 935

Totally? Really?

By honk honk, fuckwad - 06/11/2015 22:39 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 965

You deserved it 6 005

Cut it out

By uhhggggg - 02/01/2010 17:16 - France

Spicy

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 612

You deserved it 4 348

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 386

You deserved it 3 436

By Anonymous - 03/08/2013 20:01 - Portugal

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 131

You deserved it 9 201

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 285

You deserved it 7 891

By jigglypluff - 19/11/2014 05:27 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 283

You deserved it 4 944

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 743

You deserved it 10 559

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 880

You deserved it 5 514

By mee - 30/11/2011 06:43 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 107

You deserved it 8 833

Next

Top comments

Welshite 39

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:17

Did you scream "baby, baby, baby, ooh..."?

cmayer 20

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:17

I am so very sorry for your misfortune.

Comments

ygdrassil 17

Thursday 18 July 2013 5:34

I have to respect him for being successful. Even if he has no talent (and he does have some) he's convinced a herd of sheep ("Beliebers") that he does. And he's rich because of it. But he wouldn't be successful at all if he weren't really handsome.

Wani_fml 12

Thursday 18 July 2013 5:38

@49: That's what you think, but I came down with a terminal case of originality a few months back that was fortunately cured when I took an arrow to the knee.

Tiffanywastaken 16

Thursday 18 July 2013 5:40

she's a keeper for sure, OP!

mrtonyanderson 20

Thursday 18 July 2013 5:44

Time to dump that bitch, unacceptable.

AmberAusgeflippt 13

Thursday 18 July 2013 6:01

Is she legal?!.... Either she, or you, are probably not old enough to be having sex. Anybody else agree?

djbrisvegas 9

Thursday 18 July 2013 6:02

You shouldn't be having sex with children ;)

jkmartinjk 16

Thursday 18 July 2013 6:12

He has put millions of dollars into taxes in Canada. Can't complain with that!

nicolegrace8925 9

Thursday 18 July 2013 6:16

at least she didnt ask you to dress like him

dermor 3

Thursday 18 July 2013 6:34

no amount of sex is worth that kind of embarrassment

unhappyhug 11

Thursday 18 July 2013 7:05

Time for a new gf dude

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The Top

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 328

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 672

You deserved it 39 756

The Top

Today, I was hanging out with the guy I like. All of a sudden, he pulls out a small vial of his blood to give to me, proving his undying love. Curious, I asked where he had gotten the blood. His answer? A razor blade. In his nose. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 421

You deserved it 5 573

Today, for the third time in 3 months, my pregnant wife woke me up by slapping me because I cheated on her in her dreams. I would never cheat on my wife, and she blames it on "pregnancy brain." There's still 5 months to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 993

You deserved it 156

Today, I can at last cool off the house by opening my windows after one week of heatwave. Unfortunately, some asshat working for the city decided to repair the street, or rather bang bang bang on the pavement, right in front of them. From 10 pm to 6 am. Every night. For a week. They won't stop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 374

You deserved it 98

Today, I walked into my room to find my roommate's boyfriend trying on one of my pink, lacy bras. My roommate then yelled at me for coming home early. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 247

You deserved it 3 054

Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 136

You deserved it 2 199

Today, the company I work for is now an online company, meaning we work from home. My boss suggested I live with him and I would still get my salary; if I don’t, I will get paid via 3% commissions on systems that barely sell. The worst part of all of this is that every day I get shouted at for nothing. I hate my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 740

You deserved it 135