Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber... - FML

By Anonymous - 17/07/2013 20:27 - United States - Wales

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend guilted me into roleplaying as Justin Bieber before and during sex. I now feel physically ill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 186

You deserved it 24 246

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Same thing different taste

I can't help it

By Anonymous - 14/02/2015 17:47 - Ireland

Today, my girlfriend wanted to roleplay as a schoolgirl. I was excited, until we started and she asked me to lick her "vajayjay". I cringed so hard, my skull practically caved in. I broke down laughing while trying to explain my cringing. Now she's pissed and I'm blue-balled. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 238

You deserved it 11 935

Totally? Really?

By honk honk, fuckwad - 06/11/2015 22:39 - United States - San Francisco

Spicy

Today, I had a dream where I was giving Justin Bieber a blowjob. I'm a totally straight male. I have half a mind to bill the little bastard for therapy sessions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 965

You deserved it 6 005

Cut it out

By uhhggggg - 02/01/2010 17:16 - France

Spicy

Today, I was trying to be dirty with my fiancé. He got really into the roleplaying and wouldn't stop pretending to be a cop for hours. Mood officially killed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 612

You deserved it 4 348

By Anonymous - 15/08/2012 11:40 - United Kingdom - Chatham

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend admitted she had a nightmare about having sex with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 386

You deserved it 3 436

By Anonymous - 03/08/2013 20:01 - Portugal

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend convinced me to do some bedroom roleplay, and we decided on acting out a job interview scenario. I suggestively told her that if she wanted to get the job, she'd have to use her mouth on something else first. She called me a pig and ended the roleplay right there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 131

You deserved it 9 201

By Anonymous - 02/01/2012 17:30 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 285

You deserved it 7 891

By jigglypluff - 19/11/2014 05:27 - United States - Omaha

Spicy

Today, my wife and I decided to try out role playing. She ended up having an anxiety attack when I said she wasn't turning in her homework. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 283

You deserved it 4 944

By Anonymous - 14/03/2013 16:59 - Germany - Dortmund

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were going to get intimate, so I masturbated before leaving my place, hoping it would help me last longer than usual. 10 minutes in, she shoved me off and started screaming at me, convinced that I've been cheating on her and practising with someone else. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 743

You deserved it 10 559

Make believe

By somebodyelse - 17/08/2009 05:13 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting pretty hot and heavy, then he said, "Let's pretend you're someone else." FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 880

You deserved it 5 514

By mee - 30/11/2011 06:43 - Canada

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try something new. I ended up tied to the bed, and my girlfriend discovered how ticklish I am. Worst 3 hours of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 107

You deserved it 8 833

Next

Top comments

Welshite 39

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:17

Did you scream "baby, baby, baby, ooh..."?

cmayer 20

Thursday 18 July 2013 0:17

I am so very sorry for your misfortune.

Comments

Moe2311 2

Thursday 18 July 2013 7:20

How old are you two? Seriously? You guys sound way too young to be having sex.

JulianneDelisle 14

Thursday 18 July 2013 7:27

Are u dating a 13 year old? Like wtf

underthesea12 24

Thursday 18 July 2013 7:27

you kinky freak!

culito_fml 10

Thursday 18 July 2013 7:35

So if i got this straight, she fantasized she made love to Justin beaver with you, and you had to role play... Wow I'm sorry

mete_orito 34

Thursday 18 July 2013 7:55

I wonder what the OP symptoms are...

clemsi 20

Thursday 18 July 2013 8:39

Anyone who would piss in the mop bucket of a minimum wage employee, deface the picture of one of our founding fathers, and spit on a perfect stranger only to hide behind bodyguards is not deserve respect...he deserves a punch in the face...and that is just what he has done in the last month and a half.

Chevrille 8

Thursday 18 July 2013 8:50

How did you not lose your boner though.

3point0 2

Thursday 18 July 2013 9:17

Bieber ♥

3point0 2

Thursday 18 July 2013 9:19

I'll be her Bieber and she can be mine.

nokaywhatever 5

Thursday 18 July 2013 9:21

That is a new level of unhealthy. I'm sorry, OP.

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The Top

Today, nine weeks after giving birth, my husband and I finally tried to have sex since a friend was watching the baby. Not only could I not get wet due to hormones, but as soon as he got back from buying lube, his drunk brother called needing a ride from the bar. No sex for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 215

You deserved it 328

Today, I was having dinner at a restaurant with my best friend and her 18-month-old. I really had to fart, so I let one go silently, hoping it would go unnoticed. I caught a whiff of it, but so did my friend apparently, because she made a face and then held up her baby to smell her diaper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 542

You deserved it 1 376

The Top

Today, I rushed to the post office to mail an important document for the study abroad program that I'd applied for, which was due in a few days. Just as the envelope slipped out of my hand and into the mail box, I caught a glimpse of the upper right corner where there was supposed to be a stamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 323

You deserved it 39 306

Today, I was trying to flirt with the guy I like using body language, so I leaned over this counter in a sensual way. I happened to have a fork, so I went to bite the tip that sexy way people do in movies. I accidentally stabbed myself in the lip, cutting it. My lunch had jalapeños in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 603

You deserved it 56 776

Today, I told my mom I was thinking of having a baby. She told me it was a huge mistake because children cost a fortune, make you miserable, and if she'd had her chance again she would have gotten her tubes tied when she was 18 and saved herself the grief. Gee, thanks mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 445

You deserved it 265

Today, I got to take my 10-year-old son to the junior high school at which I teach. When my students questioned him about what I was like at home, he told the entire class: "Well, she farts all the time." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 914

You deserved it 9 075

Today, I realized what an immature child my mother is, and has always been. Even though she’s past middle aged, she still screenshots social media posts to laugh and make fun of people she went to high school with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 703

You deserved it 123

Today, I approached my daughter and told her she needs to clean her room. Her response was, "Thank you Captain Obvious." She's 4. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 323

You deserved it 10 280