Intimacy: Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with...

By kneesarethenewdesk - 19/08/2009 22:38 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend jumped, naked, onto my computer desk, with the intention of having sex on it. A new, £250 computer desk, broken beyond repair. And we didn't even have sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 331

You deserved it 7 694

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Same thing different taste

Seventh heaven

By Egyptian ToyBoy - 17/12/2019 20:00

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend. She had such an uncontrollable, aggressive orgasm that I'd be celebrating my efforts, if only in the process she hadn't knocked over my new expensive laptop, which then split in half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 876

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By Anonymous - 13/12/2009 08:39 - United States

Today, I came home and saw my girlfriend on the computer. I decided to sex things up and sneak up on her naked from behind. Apparently, she was video-chatting with her friends at the time. They saw everything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 961

You deserved it 25 334

By burb - 25/09/2013 19:23 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I invited my new girlfriend over for the first time. My roommate thought it would be funny to go on a porn site on my computer and leave it up. She saw it, freaked out, slapped me, and left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 030

You deserved it 3 904

By Crawling - 25/10/2008 16:56

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place, looking drop dead gorgeous. However, she preferred the idea of sleeping, and here I am on my laptop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 051

You deserved it 10 261

By Anonymous - 22/12/2010 13:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Instead of having breakup sex, she tidied my room. She said it gave her more pleasure than any time we'd ever had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 114

You deserved it 14 010

By picaboo - 10/08/2009 16:41 - Singapore

Today, I bought a new computer. I gave my old one to my mother. After handing it over and going home, I realised I forgot to change the background picture, a naked photo of my girlfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 085

You deserved it 68 409

By Anon - 05/12/2009 14:19 - United Kingdom

Today, my girlfriend and I decided to try cybersex, because we rarely see each other these days. We only used text. Halfway through, I noticed that she started being more demanding. As it turns out, my girlfriend had left the room and her older brother had walked in and taken over. FML

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You deserved it 17 258

Hello everyone!

By Anonymous - 18/04/2020 08:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were sexting, and he asked me if I would be naked and waiting for him when he got home. When he told me he was on his way, I took my clothes off and got into bed. What he didn’t tell me was he was bringing friends to pick up a desk from our place for their office. FML

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You deserved it 373

Haters Gonna Hate

By apparentlyweird - 28/08/2018 22:00

Today, my dad's new girlfriend's daughter came over with them. She had a tantrum because my brand new computer, which I worked and saved for, was better than her notebook, which was bought for her. So what did she do? Oh, she threw it off my desk. For some reason I'm being yelled at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 035

You deserved it 240

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 19:01 - Netherlands - Herkenbosch

Today, I tried coming on to my fiancé. He just pushed me off and got out of bed, saying he wasn't in the mood. A half hour later, I caught him jerking off to several windows of porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 478

You deserved it 6 678

marinja 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:27

apparenly your computer desk isn't the only thing that's 250 pounds...

xiambam 4

Thursday 20 August 2009 1:11

Eh, at least she had good intentions. : lol

Comments

ILoveJace01 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 4:19

Lol I'm sorry, but at least she was trying to be sexy.

wbrycem 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 4:20

They are. And they aren't easy to shake off, either. I think it's because they don't have standards ...

annamg 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 4:37

At least she was trying to be sexy and have some fun; it's better than some unenthusiastic prude. And to all the commenters, how do you know she was fat? Some desks can be pretty flimsy, especially if you apply at lot of force to it (i.e, jumping.) Furniture isn't made to be jumped on.

BabaBlackShirt 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 4:37

She doesn't have to be fat. Just light jogging pounds your foot with 3x your weight. Jumping can do a hell of a lot of damage to a cheap desk. So... say 120 lbs x 5 = 600lbs or more. I know it's not a cheap desk, for those smartass bastards who love to correct people. I'm just stating a few facts to help explain the situation to some people who don't understand how this could happen.

teach09 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 4:38

how is that a comprehension fail??? Pretty sure the question was answered... I'm sure lots of people would want to have sex on a desk... I know I would!!!!

IsumoVamp 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 4:41

Pics or it didn't happen.

flyboy57 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 4:45

you didn't have angry sex? YDI!

BalenciagaBetch9 0

Thursday 20 August 2009 4:54

fat girls need love too!

plexico 3

Thursday 20 August 2009 5:02

I am such a ******* nerd! This is about the 93rd comment and I think I am the first to ask: WHAT HAPPENED TO THE COMPUTER?

libbyson 5

Thursday 20 August 2009 5:36

I would assume that since the desk is new and they wanted to have sex on it he just finished putting it together haha but I could be wrong

plexico 3

Thursday 20 August 2009 8:10

I'd guess he'd use a phrase like "brand new" in that case. "New" can mean a few months old even. You've eased my mind a bit, but I still have concerns about the status of the computer.