Love: Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different... - FML

By anonymous - 08/06/2011 06:55 - United States

Today, my husband and I got married. The only thing that is different so far is that he now thinks that it's okay to shit with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 011

You deserved it 8 736

November 11: Memories and smiles
Historical anecdotes with a light touch to commemorate with a respectful smile. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Cuteness overload

By Cpm - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 867

You deserved it 5 211

By Anonymous - 08/10/2010 05:23 - United States

Today, my husband pooped the bed for the second time since we've been married. We've been married a month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 920

You deserved it 5 462

Boundaries please!

By mary - 08/06/2018 05:00

Today, my boyfriend threatened to break up with me because I still close the door when I go to the bathroom. He pees and poops with the door wide open and expects me to do the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 821

You deserved it 422

By ShittyProposal - 20/10/2013 07:06 - United States - Columbus

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 266

You deserved it 4 873

So, as I was saying before I was interrupted by your colon…

By Privacy please - 30/10/2024 07:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife hit a new level of clingy when she picked the lock on the bathroom door so she could sit with me while I shat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 553

You deserved it 76

By Anonymous - 07/09/2010 10:17 - United States

Today, my new wife and I got back from our honeymoon. Her parents had dropped our wedding gifts off at our apartment, but didn't lock the door. We came home to start off our new life together to a wrecked apartment and no gifts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 393

You deserved it 3 020

Thanks, I guess…

By Anonymous - 02/11/2018 03:00

Today, my boyfriend came home drunk from town, busted the toilet door open crying, and proposed to me with a ring and all. I was literally mid-shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 279

You deserved it 305

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

By Whoishe? - 02/06/2021 06:00

Today, I realized my husband is a completely different person than when we married. It’s only been three and a half years since we eloped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 841

You deserved it 172

By monogamous - 28/10/2010 09:26 - Australia

Today, I met my husband's other wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 436

You deserved it 4 804

By pissedoff - 28/06/2016 11:53 - United States - Benton

Today, my morning started off by stepping in my dog's piss by the door. Then, stepping in my husband's piss by the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 882

You deserved it 1 347

Next

Top comments

shift_love 13

Wednesday 8 June 2011 16:18

well it is ok cause now his shit is your shit and your shit is his shit

thebestof1984 0

Wednesday 8 June 2011 16:18

If that's the only thing that's changed in your marriage, consider yourself lucky!

Comments

dcg0311 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 8:14

open your mind.

ama522 6

Thursday 9 June 2011 8:29

your posting on fml on your wedding night?

BigPuss 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 8:36

Word up ta ma boi for ManPower!

bearsgoroar 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 9:09

Stop being dumb. Pooping is a biological function. You should be able to do this in front of each other or even with a door open. My boyfriend and I talk while one of us is on the toilet. It's just continuing our conversation.

redtigerlily 5

Thursday 9 June 2011 10:05

Why do people think that getting married will change anything. The only that has changed is you now have a slip of paper saying you are married. congratulations.

NoPo1983 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 11:24

Freaking priceless!!!

northern_lights 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 11:45

Not much is different in marriage, idiot. Be glad he feels comfortable enough to shit around you. Boo-*******-Hoo.

wriptidez 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 13:25

lol

appleexo 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 14:29

oh dear god :| i feel sorry for you haha

conniebaby67 0

Thursday 9 June 2011 17:27

lmao.

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The Top

Today, accustomed to dealing with my old car's faulty accelerator, I pressed the pedal way too hard in my new car and crashed into a pillar, totaling the engine, and giving myself a concussion. I could still see the dealership down the street. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 542

You deserved it 4 219

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I agree, your life sucks 15

You deserved it 15

The Top

Today, I submitted a poem for my English class. I had fun writing it, so I wrote a second which was not nearly as good. My procrastinator of a friend never did his, so I gave him my extra poem. Mine was given a 75% while "his" received a 93%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 217

You deserved it 9 166

Today, I'm dating a trans girl, who is also my best friend. She confessed to me long ago that she was born male, and that wasn't a big deal to me. The problem is that my family is constantly harassing her, because I should have been "with a real girl instead of a monster with severed genitals." FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 490

Today, I went to the dentist. After drilling my teeth for what seemed like hours, he gave me a long speech about how if I continue to smoke, the yellowing of my teeth won't be the only problem. I don't smoke. I never have. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 858

You deserved it 9 078

Today, I woke up with the flu. My wife thinks I'm faking it so we don't have to go on date night, even though I've been on the toilet all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 056

You deserved it 1 383

Today, I was looking for a parking spot and finally found one. Trying to figure out if the spot was legal, I asked a cop that had pulled up. He said it was fine. I came back 3 hours later to a parking ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 982

You deserved it 4 008

Today, my neighbor knocked on my door and left a note that said "Please stop singing in the shower. You're terrible, and everyone in the building can hear you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 683

You deserved it 15 316