Work: Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was...

By waterproblem - 27/05/2009 23:10 - United States

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 524

You deserved it 75 082

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By Worstjob - 03/03/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 318

You deserved it 4 438

By Anonymous - 22/03/2017 17:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 357

You deserved it 1 686

Live Laugh Love

By ihatewalmart - 29/06/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

By Crapper. - 16/09/2016 20:35 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 180

You deserved it 732

The art, the artist

By waltzy777 - 26/04/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 612

You deserved it 83 051

Mystery unwanted gift

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 07:59 - Australia - Bendigo

Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 182

By fucker43 - 02/06/2013 06:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 793

You deserved it 4 731

By Fingkids - 25/09/2012 01:51 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 308

You deserved it 33 884

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 3 449

By Himynameisjacob - 05/01/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I was told that, although I was sick on the last day before break, they would still accept the 24 page essay that I had written. Tonight, as I went to print it out, I found that my dad had "cleaned up a bit" on my computer, including the documents from last semester. I have school tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 576

You deserved it 3 327

dianeface 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 9:52

Trust me, the high school kids will think its hilarious.

This_Guy 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 9:58

Just tell them that you actually did your job, but some kids drew that when you left.

Comments

dianeface 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 9:52

Trust me, the high school kids will think its hilarious.

craziii 0

Thursday 4 March 2010 4:09

I've seem one like this, this one is fake

xcowboys 0

Monday 27 June 2011 6:47

he could also try to make it into a smiley face with a huge nose as a cover up.

Amrel 10

Saturday 20 August 2011 3:15

The machine broke idiot

Missy612 14

Tuesday 2 October 2012 5:29

But..the principle won't.

JJ_86 22

Tuesday 3 June 2014 22:51

Yes, the "Principal" won't #261 but who cares when she chan be the legend among the students. Only spread it as a rumour so that she won't be fired.

rissyboo4 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 9:56

that is soo funny!!

iFellytone 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 9:57

Agree with #1. Plus you could try covering it up with the power hose.

morgs1 0

Wednesday 17 November 2010 2:12

no shit, but if you read it says the power hose broke

jojob12397 0

Tuesday 26 July 2011 7:29

it's broken smart one

This_Guy 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 9:58

Just tell them that you actually did your job, but some kids drew that when you left.

vampirate 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 9:58

you will be legend

kkim1226 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 9:59

you just made all of the high school graduates a lot happier now they have something to laugh at during the long usually dull ceremony

Sessee 4

Thursday 28 May 2009 10:00

Agreed, #1. But, seriously, what is with people drawing penises on everything? Like that chick who drew a penis on that dry erase board with a sharpie?