Work: Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was...

By waterproblem - 27/05/2009 23:10 - United States

Today, my last task for the day as a high school janitor was to power-wash the concrete area where the graduation ceremony will take place. Tired and bored, I drew a huge penis with the power hose. Right before I was going to wash it off, the machine broke. Graduation is tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 524

You deserved it 75 082

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Worstjob - 03/03/2011 00:35 - United States

Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 318

You deserved it 4 438

By Anonymous - 22/03/2017 17:00 - United States - Troy

Today, I saw some pretty heinous graffiti on the urinal stall at school, so I opted to scribble it out. A supervisor came in the second the pen touched the stall. Now I have detention and have to scrub the entire stall clean as a "lesson". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 357

You deserved it 1 686

Live Laugh Love

By ihatewalmart - 29/06/2012 23:12 - United States

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 059

You deserved it 3 210

By Crapper. - 16/09/2016 20:35 - United States - Fayetteville

Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 180

You deserved it 732

The art, the artist

By waltzy777 - 26/04/2009 08:12 - United States

Today, we were having a family get together at my house. Because of this, I had to mow our lawn to make sure it looked nice. I got a little bored and decided it would be funny to cut a rather large penis into my yard. Right when I'd finished, I ran out of gas. My 83 year-old grandmother saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 612

You deserved it 83 051

Mystery unwanted gift

By Anonymous - 04/05/2021 07:59 - Australia - Bendigo

Today, I came back from school camp and really had to go to the toilet. I ran to the nearest one, which was by the principal's office. After I finished, I tried to flush the button. Turns out the water was turned off so it wouldn't flush. I bolted. The principal is now stuck with my unwanted present. FML

I agree, your life sucks 858

You deserved it 182

By fucker43 - 02/06/2013 06:11 - United States - Atlanta

Today, my friend made an effort to draw a penis on every page in my analysis textbook in pen. I have to return this tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 793

You deserved it 4 731

By Fingkids - 25/09/2012 01:51 - United States

Today, I fell asleep at work and woke up with penis sharpied on my face. I'm a kindergarten teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 308

You deserved it 33 884

By WasteOfTime - 01/11/2009 14:36 - United Kingdom

Today, as I stopped at a traffic light, I noticed the man in the car next to me break out in laughter. I pulled over later on to see that someone had drawn a large penis on the side of my van. I then spent all my morning cleaning it off. I went outside later only to see someone had redrawn it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 358

You deserved it 3 449

By Himynameisjacob - 05/01/2010 07:18 - United States

Today, I was told that, although I was sick on the last day before break, they would still accept the 24 page essay that I had written. Tonight, as I went to print it out, I found that my dad had "cleaned up a bit" on my computer, including the documents from last semester. I have school tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 576

You deserved it 3 327

dianeface 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 9:52

Trust me, the high school kids will think its hilarious.

This_Guy 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 9:58

Just tell them that you actually did your job, but some kids drew that when you left.

Comments

SweetestSin 4

Thursday 28 May 2009 10:51

LMAO This is hilarious!!!

eliz3 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 11:01

#28, what are you even talking about? "Its very common about 8% of kids do it" First of all, 8% is not a lot. Second, that statistic was completely made up wasn't it? And third, practically ALL boys have drawn a penis and probably some girls. So it would be more like 65%, if were going to make stats up.

aoife123 0

Saturday 1 May 2010 8:50

it's from Superbad...

MvK_fml 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 11:01

It is a crappy turn of events, but you do deserve it. If you got blamed for someone else doing it, it would be a FML, but as it stands you did something that you shouldn't have done (and might even get away with it).

slitherysloth 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 11:05

#32, first off, your use of quotations was incorrect given that I did not actually say what you have in quotes, learn to use them. Secondly, what I had previously written was a joke from the movie Superbad.

TheBitchOfChuckN 7

Sunday 17 July 2011 8:53

First Off, It was in quotations to signify it was quoted from the previous comment. Learn to use them. Second, how the hell was she supposed to know that was a movie line? OP: You are now qualified as a High School God.

HeyitsPheddy 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 11:05

@32, I am pretty sure he stole that number from Superbad, which was the movie I was thinking of while I was reading this.

24788 6

Thursday 28 May 2009 11:05

The high school kids will love you for this.

CheezerX 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 11:08

dude that is awsome...wish that was at my graduation shit was boring...i had to sit in teh front row so i couldnt go to sleep

apastry 6

Thursday 28 May 2009 11:16

This is excellent.

Pepperolls 0

Thursday 28 May 2009 11:20

Lol... have you heard about that person who drew a penis on the rooftop so that google earth could see it? Also I think there was another FML on here that resembled your one..