If someone close to you gets abused OFTEN by someone she has the ability to separate herself from, then I don't feel sorry for her. Not that it's her fault she got abused, but you would think she would... I dunno, leave the guy? People who stick around in abusive relationships are simply allowing it to continue.

You do not understand this type of a abuse then. It's both mental and physical. Often the man will make her feel so terrible about her self so she think she can't leave that things would be worse alone or that he will do something worse. It's much more complicated than I am making it seem because having never been or known someone in an abusive relationship I don't even fully understand it. I understand enough to know it is NEVER the woman's fault, and that leaving is never easy. I know it can go the other way around also just using the female victim as an easy example.

Then, as with any other mental health issue, the victim needs to seek counseling and/or other professional help. I'm not condoning it by any stretch of the imagination, I just only have so much sympathy for someone who enables their own abuse. It's like feeling awful for a drug addict who keeps using and won't get help. In the end, it's your personal responsibility to get help for your mental as well as physical issues.

You clearly have never been in an abusive relationship. Good for you, but don't talk about shit you don't understand, and don't pass judgement on people with problems you cannot even begin to comprehend. Having an abusive partner is absolutely nothing like having an addiction. An addiction only involves one person--an abusive relationship involves two people. An addict can take responsibility for their own actions, but a victim of an abusive relationship can't possibly have any control over the behavior of their abusive partner. My ex husband was a foot taller than me and 100 pounds heavier, and when I told him I wanted a divorce, he punched holes in the walls and broke our furniture, and when I tried to leave the house because he was acting insane, he took my car keys from me and physically blocked me from getting to the door. And do you think he let me anywhere near my phone to call for help? Hell no. And that's mild compared to what other abusers do when their victim tries to end the abusive relationship. So unless you have the balls to stand up to someone twice your size who has attacked you in the past, I suggest you stop being an ass and acquire a little more sympathy and understanding for victims of abuse.

@ #47 You obviously have not been in abusive relationship then, lucky you. It's beyond difficult to get away. The men and women who do the abuse make sure of it by tearing you down at every chance they get; verbally, psychologically and physcally. Your self-esteem gets so.low you start to think you deserve it, that that's how life is going to be. Maybe it's not them, it's you because you're the only one he/she treats worse thab you would an animal. Everyday is hell: you're constantly walking on eggshells, trying your best not to make them mad. One sound, one wrong word and it's all it takes to set them off. Sometimes not even that; you haven't made a sound, you weren't anywhere near them and they still blame you for whatever they think you did to them. And you take it, to try and keep some semblence of peace because if you fight back it'll be even worse. It takes alot of courage, it takes alot of support, not judgement, -support-, to try and start to value yourself again. To get angry. To lose the fear that was beaten down into you for years. To be free again. Denial, rage, acception and action. You don't just leave, it's not possible to just leave, before all that happens. And even after you managed to get them out of your life, there's all the scars they left you with. Those don't disappear and takes years of hard work to lessen the grip they have on you - be they physical or psychologic. You are blissfully ignorant of all of this and you should be thankful that you are. But don't try to offer half-assed advice when you don't have a clue. Abuse victims are not victims because they want to be; it's not a choice - it's a long process that only the lucky few are able to conquer.

#56, just to add. One way women control and abuse their male partners is threats of calling the police and filing a false report or taking any kids away from him, if he tries to report her or leave.

I agree with you.. And I never correct people, but since you're a school teacher I can't help myself.. ** losing. Okay, I feel better, glad you kept your job. That must have sucked!

No, she WOULD have a sense of humor, if it was actually funny.