Miscellaneous: Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless...

By BerkeleyBiker - 19/04/2011 08:23 - United States

Today, while enjoying a nice dinner out, I observed a homeless man giggling hysterically to himself while wiping boogers on my bike seat and handlebars. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 360

You deserved it 3 733

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By dadadoo - 06/02/2012 04:09 - United States

Today, while on the bus, I watched a homeless man pop a pimple on his arm and eat it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 864

You deserved it 3 330

By meesmees - 23/11/2013 10:48 - United States - Severna Park

Today, I ended up talking to a homeless man and bought him a meal. In return, he hugged me and groped my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 817

You deserved it 6 812

By no no no no no no no no no no no fuck no - 01/09/2013 20:04 - Greece - Athens

Today, I witnessed my husband hocking a loogie into his hand, then throwing it into the trash can and continuing to make our sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 300

You deserved it 3 227

By ugh - 14/06/2011 17:56 - United States

Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 698

You deserved it 3 927

Basic communication

By Tim - 16/06/2009 06:15 - United States

Today, I was enjoying some much needed serenity while I ate lunch in an empty park. To my surprise, an older, clean cut man in a suit sits on the bench next to me. Without saying a word, he unleashes the most foul of farts I've ever witnessed, gets up, gives me a nod, and leaves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 80 023

You deserved it 6 022

PTSD

By I have Flashbacks Now - 10/11/2016 21:15 - United States - Woonsocket

Today, while going to the mall, I witnessed the horror of someone sneezing and shitting themselves at the same time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 413

You deserved it 911

By Anonymous - 29/12/2010 07:03 - United States

Today, on the train, I was bitten by a homeless man. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 722

You deserved it 4 349

By Anonymous - 22/05/2009 08:36 - United States

Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 097

You deserved it 2 880

Stay classy

By militarywife2b - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - France

Today, at work, I watched a man throw up in his hands, dump the contents on his plate, then eat the things it "didn't touch." I had to wash his plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 160

You deserved it 2 232

By not a shitty situation so fuck you - 24/06/2016 22:52 - United States - San Francisco

Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 851

You deserved it 773

I_See_Purple_Ppl 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:54

wow, I would have giggled to myself has I made up some story to the cops and had him hauled away.

CateXOX 0

Tuesday 19 April 2011 11:55

It adds extra grip- he's doing you a favor.

Comments

snorlaxxx 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 6:04

ewwwww haha !

ouch1990 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 6:45

Rofl

calvin10 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 12:37

YDI for riding a bike - even in Berkeley.

CharcoalChicken 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 13:29

HAHAHAHAHAHA

alliwannadoishav 0

Wednesday 20 April 2011 17:00

Brilliant!

littlesunshine_fml 9

Wednesday 20 April 2011 22:03

i can't stop laughing ....

vmg131 4

Thursday 21 April 2011 3:05

wow.. disgusting.

NaturalBueaty 3

Thursday 21 April 2011 4:19

Thats funny. Your just a cry baby.

JoeyVapeman 0

Thursday 21 April 2011 11:18

Today, I dressed up as a homeless person, and wiped boogers all over some random person's bike. I do this every week, and IMMD.

jvibertyo 0

Tuesday 3 May 2011 12:03

soo nasty

Keywords

Miscellaneous Family DIY Cats Work Poopoo peepee Awkward Management Frustration Am I overreacting? Capitalism Coworkers Relatable Transportation Animals ADHD Dogs Dating Love Mental health Health Anxiety Technology Sleep Noise Roommate Clumsy AITA Confused Parents

The Top

Today, my boss is going nuts after some coworkers quit, as they were some of the lucky few with enough cash to move away ahead of whatever dumbass plan the next administration has for their immigrant families and friends. My boss is complaining he can't afford to pay "normal people wages" and wants me to work overtime. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 165

Today, my girlfriend was on top in reverse cowgirl. After she orgasmed, all I heard was, "Oh fuck" and she clenched her butt to try stop, but it was too late, she shot diarrhoea up my stomach, chest and neck. The only reason I didn’t get any in my mouth was because it all got caught in my beard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 050

You deserved it 409

The Top

Today, I got in a car accident on the way to the DMV to take my drivers test. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 941

You deserved it 9 638

Today, I'm recovering from a brain injury that occurred a few months ago. The newest challenge I'm facing is thinking the floor is moving any time there is a change in colour or texture. My house has patterned tile floors and carpet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 843

You deserved it 1 240

Today, I went into work. After three years of working 55 hours a week, they fired me by putting the contents of my locker at the front door, with a note that said "If not picked up by 10:00 am stuff will be donated." I work the night shift. I just lost three sweaters, two pairs of shoes, $60, and my job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 551

You deserved it 2 738

Today, I get to stand in the unemployment line for the second time in a year because my company can't pay me. My parents own the company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 141

You deserved it 3 189

Today, I took a call from a man who said his dating apps are connecting him with "black and oriental women" when he only wants white women. I spent 47 minutes on the phone with this customer trying to explain that I am only an AT&T Service Rep and have no control over any dating apps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 876

You deserved it 454

Today, I bought a Plan B at CVS. I always use my parents' phone number for reward points. Turns out my mom is enrolled in digital receipts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 463

You deserved it 1 402

Same thing different taste

Basic communication

PTSD

Stay classy

Top comments

Comments