Intimacy: Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be...

By Anonymous - 01/03/2011 17:32 - United States

Today, while getting it on with my boyfriend, I decided to be spontaneous and do something sexy. I started taking his underwear off with my teeth. My teeth dragged over his shaft, and my braces cut up his foreskin in the process. Now he's not talking to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 758

You deserved it 62 024

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Same thing different taste

By Tyler - 19/11/2011 08:05 - United States

Today, I was getting intimate with my girlfriend for the first time. In an attempt to be romantic, I tried taking her panties off with my teeth. I got a mouthful of pubes stuck in my braces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 248

You deserved it 34 495

A for effort

By NotsexyEnough - 23/11/2009 03:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 502

You deserved it 6 490

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 980

You deserved it 62 492

By sexyfail - 26/01/2010 08:59 - Australia

Today, I learned that removing your boyfriends boxers with your teeth is waaaay less sexy when you accidentally bite a chunk of his pubes and yank them out in the process. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 216

You deserved it 27 841

You want a piece of me?

By littlepeepboo - 30/01/2018 01:30

Today my boyfriend tried to be sexy and rip off my underwear. Instead, he bit a chunk out of my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 116

You deserved it 447

Stop! Hammertime!

By shotdown - 04/11/2010 04:18 - United States

Today, in the middle of hot passionate sex with my husband, he stops and tells me he won't be able to finish until I go brush my teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 606

You deserved it 41 638

By Brittany - 18/06/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were kissing. Halfway through the kiss, he rubs his tongue along all my teeth and says, "You need to brush your teeth." FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 908

You deserved it 38 036

By kinkicali - 20/11/2012 08:43 - United States - Maple Valley

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 497

You deserved it 36 505

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 06:00

Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 210

You deserved it 313

By Anonymous - 16/03/2012 20:23 - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 764

You deserved it 13 688

iluvhobos 5

Tuesday 1 March 2011 23:06

I'm surprised you didn't get pubes caught in your teeth

dmcp77 1

Tuesday 1 March 2011 23:15

braces and penis do NOT mix. poor guy.

Comments

jallee 1

Wednesday 2 March 2011 2:46

what I find odd is that you were "getting it on" and then decided to take his underwear off. I'm fairly certain that "getting it on" doesn't mean making out.

alexavb15 4

Wednesday 2 March 2011 2:48

Ha Better Luck Next Time Hun !

AubriS 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 11:36

Why is every word capitalized? :-/

alexavb15 4

Friday 4 March 2011 3:28

Hm Cause iCan Do That,? Problem,?

chili_is_good 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 2:51

do you think of this stuff as you go? because was hilarious but strange.

theservant 1

Wednesday 2 March 2011 3:01

deserve it for being filthy by having a foreskin.

RedPillSucks 31

Wednesday 2 March 2011 4:31

Since OP is a woman, I'm sure she doesn't have foreskin.

shajenjen 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 3:07

how old r u 11 u shouldn't be suckin that young

bobsanction 18

Wednesday 2 March 2011 3:18

Lucky you still have teeth after that.

meintx 9

Wednesday 2 March 2011 3:22

If you had Invisalign this never would have happened. ;)

Country29 16

Wednesday 2 March 2011 3:36

Okay well you sound kinda young.. and noone at the age to get braces should be doing stuff like that at all.

missIrene 6

Wednesday 2 March 2011 5:46

uhh people over 18 can have braces too genius who are you to tell people wat they should and shouldn't be doing?

wiggs5 0

Wednesday 2 March 2011 3:39

he's probably one of those really weird people who really don't have lives & are really disgusting.. which would explain why he's posting on almost every fml possible? Hm.... oh! but don't get me wrong, some of his responses to things are funny. but this?.. DISGUSTING.