Transportation, Cars and Accident: Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into...

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By godhatesme - 10/12/2011 08:45 - United States

Today, while pulling into my driveway, I slightly bumped into something. My wife. I'll be sleeping on the couch for a while. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 132

You deserved it 20 737

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Same thing different taste

On the move

By c-Ouch - 07/07/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife yelled at me for not helping her rearrange the furniture. I have a sprained shoulder and have been ordered by my doctor to avoid heavy lifting. She said, "Move the couch or sleep on it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 92

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 671

You deserved it 3 302

By BedazzledAlpaca - 08/12/2014 05:03 - United States - Englewood

Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 863

You deserved it 4 311

Injury to injury

By Anonymous - 01/11/2023 18:00

Today, I got home from work and face-planted into my sofa because I hate my job, suffer from depression, recently lost my wife to cancer, and a host of other BS. As I face-planted it turned out that my sister invited herself over and had fell asleep, curled up under a blanket. Our heads collided at 30 mph. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 89

Just corpsing

By Anonymous - 07/01/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I took a nap on my couch. I woke up three hours later to my neighbor knocking on my door, asking if I was OK because looking from the outside in, they thought I was dead. Guess I sleep like I’ve been hit by a truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 95

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 635

You deserved it 34 453

By Clumsy - 18/04/2019 18:00

Today, for the second time in a row, I slammed into the edge of the doorway while half asleep. My entire body hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 609

You deserved it 397

Nightmare mode

By oliver - 27/01/2016 12:02 - United States

Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 528

You deserved it 2 272

Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 848

You deserved it 187

Heavy sleeper

By good_aim - 27/07/2013 08:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 311

You deserved it 26 924

baconftw 9

Saturday 10 December 2011 15:58

How did you not see her?

alexh15 13

Saturday 10 December 2011 16:03

Some guys actually enjoy sleeping on the couch. It's kinda like camping.....

Comments

XxDancerGirlxX 17

Sunday 11 December 2011 1:07

Don't feel bad OP. I worked with a woman who purposely ran her husband over. She did more damage to the car than him.

chlolzah 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 1:27

Sleeping on the couch? Naah, she will make sure you have a bed.... The garden bed!

Drichard512 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:44

hit the bitch harrder and you can sleep werever you damn please

hateevryone 14

Sunday 11 December 2011 3:58

you're lucky she didn't put you out.

geon_olam 17

Sunday 11 December 2011 4:44

Or op is a pedophile

rckstrtmmy 4

Sunday 11 December 2011 5:30

who puts a kitchen in the driveway anyways?

ducklover123 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 6:12

How did that happen??? hmmmmm;)

shutterbug1190 14

Sunday 11 December 2011 12:23

Lol how did that even happen? I don't understand why you'd have to sleep on the couch if it was just an accident. Wait it was an accident right....

laliique_31 0

Sunday 11 December 2011 14:57

that's not FYL...thats more F her life! anyways...i LOL'd

bustymami21 3

Sunday 11 December 2011 17:11

I say f that st*p*d b*tch for not seeing the car??? wtf is wrong wit these people who say its his fault???? smfh

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The Top

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The Top

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You deserved it 5 024

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You deserved it 4 555

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I agree, your life sucks 2 242

You deserved it 341

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I agree, your life sucks 70 118

You deserved it 28 926

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I agree, your life sucks 4 054

You deserved it 378