Good on you for reconsidering! Waiting for marriage is the worst thing you could do. I don't mean the going without sex, I mean having all the "just married" issues, and then the sexual compatibility issues, with all the pressure that this is the only sex you get for the rest of your life, and all the expectations that it'll be magic, when in reality the first time is super awkward and uncomfortable and emotional not in the ways you'd expect. Don't set yourself up to fail. Take slow steps towards comfortable and mutually fulfilling sexual relationships rather than expecting it to just happen because you had other compatibilities. It isn't healthy to put all that dichotomy of shameful before but magically glorious and perfect after marriage onto sex. It won't change based on a ring. It only changes based on your comfort and openness with your partner and your own self. Sex isn't a form of disrespect. Sex isn't an achievement. Sex isn't a relationship fix. Having sex does not degrade you. Sex won't change things that you want it to change. Sex will change things you didn't realize would change. Have a healthy attitude about sex. No matter your choices, your wants, your paths. Don't make sex something it isn't. It's neither all good, nor all bad. It's human.

Actually it would be an annulment, almost like it never happened

Lol funny u should say this. I read about a Christian couple who didn't have sex AFTER marriage for 2 years! Happily living their lives and no sex didn't effect them.

Actually what's more important is good communication. You don't have to have sex before marriage to have good sex with the person you marry. Like any relationship, if something needs improvement the couple needs to work on it. It doesn't matter when you start having sex in a relationship, if it's not stellar the very first time there's still time to improve it. It's not like after you get married you only have one chance to please your spouse and if you fail you're out of luck. All of these comments about why "this is why you should have sex before marriage" are just ridiculous. For one, it's the couples choice to live with, you won't be having sex with them, so who cares? Two, until you give up on your relationship, there's always room to improve it, sexually, romantically, emotionally, whatever. Besides, who really has their best sex when they lose their virginity? There's always awkward moments and whatnot cause it's your first time.

136, YES! Finally, someone with some sense. There's a good side to abstaining until marriage too. If someone is willing to wait for you, you know they are in the relationship for you and not your body. And when you've only been with each other, there's no ghosts from the past possibly obstructing your intimacy. I didn't wait until marriage, but sometimes I wish I had. But you are right. There's still plenty of time for OP and her husband to work on their intimacy issues. If this had happened before they were married, there's a good chance they would have broken up, but now they've made a commitment to really give themselves a chance. Maybe it will work out. Maybe it won't. Sounds to me like the whole thing was just overwhelming to him. I bet in a few years they'll be laughing about this incident, and will reflect on how if they had given up at the first sign of trouble, they'd have missed out on this wonderful life they have together.