Weasley little liar dude
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Dummy
OP or the ex boyfriend?
You're much better off without that "genius"! Trust me, he did you a favor! The right guy is out there, just waiting to find you!
Maybe he's actually gay, but he's finding an excuse by telling you he's in the marfia...
He really knows how to spare your feelings…
who knows... maybe his telling the truth. lol
Could be true... Atleast he cared enough to make something up some guys just walk away
Keywords
Then tell him you're a member of the KGB and shoot him.
Maybe this is true and you not believing him was part of his plan, it worked so well that you don't actually believe him and wrote an FML about it!