By Brian - 18/03/2012 02:32 - United States - East Wenatchee

Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
I agree, your life sucks 32 206
You deserved it 5 117
Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

gntfmlingnow 12

See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.

384 17
DKjazz 20

Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.

264 7

Comments

gntfmlingnow 12

See if she can use her ninja tongue in more interesting ways. If you know what I mean.

384 17
kittenvks 11

For example, doing the bouncy tic tac thing you see in commercials!!

97 1
tellithowitis 13

It could have been worse... This fml gave me a mental image I will not forget. Thank you ops girlfriend.

27 1
weesnaw_08 7

LOLOLOL. Yeah put that talent to good use.

7 14
Cad6 24

The girl's mom might be part cow. The apple doesn't fall far from the apple tree.

18 6
Cad6 24

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
5 39
tellithowitis 13

#80- It's Grammar Nazi time, let's go. If you're going to correct me, at least make sure your sentence is correct...

41 3
Zimmington 21

Lmfao she's a keeper! Not being sarcastic at all, that chick is hilarious!!

18 1
OAAS 0

@92: You didn't put quotation marks around "Grammar Nazi, let's go," so your correction is grammatically incorrect as well.

0 10
tellithowitis 13

#139- You forgot """"""time""""""" so your correction on my correction in is indeed grammatically incorrect as well. Are those quotations okay?

5 1
XtraEzeee 8

143- thats too many quotation marks. so your correction of his correction of your correction of his correction is in fact, incorrect. (Yes I made a mistake just to keep this going.)

0 0
XtraEzeee 8

143- thats too many quotation marks. so your correction of 139's correction of your correction of his correction is in fact, incorrect. (Yes I made a mistake just to keep this going.)

4 5
supersitter 11

Actually 149, you made several. I'm assuming not all of them were on purpose, so bravo.

0 0
gamercanadian 11

Quagmire- how old are you? Girl- 16? Quagmire 18. Your first. Girl- mom. Quagmire- ooh I like where this is going. Giggity.

53 6
jizzwold 21

I've never really understood that joke because the age of consent in rhode island is sixteen.

3 11
BarDownDaily 12

81- Ya, but you can't do it with someone 18 or older.

8 2
xXCherrryBombXx 6

you sir, are extremely unattractive

0 11
Pebbles89 9

Hahaha! I need to try that one day! Next time, give her a puppy kiss!

100 4
AlaskanEskimo34 0

I like how we name kissing techniques after animals. Butterfly kisses, puppy kisses, cow kisses...

29 2
Llama_Face89 33

I can see that. The French can be animals, particularly French Canadians.

44 2
iamyummylicious 14

Those damn French Canadians wrecked my garden this morning. They dug up my bulbs!

21 1
msairhead 8

The awkward moment when you're a French Canadian........

21 5
Zimmington 21

26- What about Eskimo kisses??

11 1
Pebbles89 9

Someone needs to invent one that is super disgusting and name it after something adorable. Lol. Confusion is the best!

8 1
kimmykimkiwi 3

That awkward moment when you girlfriend gives you a cow lick...

96 21
elephantom12 9

Anyone else sick and tired of people saying "that awkward moment when..."

29 6
KiddNYC1O 20

So far, 47 people say no.

9 2
DrJesse 10

As payback,next time you're having sex "doggy style" yell "PRISON SEX!" and stick it in her ass.

46 1
cajekraze 7

I totally agree. When leaning for a kiss, I have meowed, followed by a solid lick. It plays out really cute if done right

4 0
ofdoom 4

is it weird that I had a similar experience earlier this evening?

60 5
DKjazz 20

That depends on exactly how similar your experience was. Did it involve the phrase "cow kisses"? Did your eyeball get licked?

41 4
slushpup9696 12

She sounds fun.

72 3
DKjazz 20

Marry her. Do it now, before I whisk her away.

264 7
DrNuggetcase 3

I agree. The day a girl gives me a cow kiss is the day I ask her to be my wife.

18 0
Rocky007 15

Did you get the milk for free?

32 7