By Dobche - 06/08/2015 11:16 - Bulgaria - Burgas
Dobche tells us more.
OP here: Result - negative. Why I didn't know about the cooking issue - well, it wasn't an issue for the last 4 years when we lived abroad. It seems it is a recent skill loss, like since we came back 3 months ago and found a place to live near his parents.
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Uh huh, not happening
aye. Guy can't feed himself? Not great, but can be remedied. Guy has Crazy mother willing to get OP fired? AND guy defends the mother and expects OP to apologise? Personally I'd recommend OP leave him, unless he is will to see that what the mother did was wrong. otherwise shit like this will happen all the time.
wow why are you dating a guy like that? I wouldn't put up with that BS
Not only dating him but she's engaged. How did the issue of him not being able to cook not come up earlier in the relationship?
Not being able to cook fancy meals or having a few meals you can cook rather than a massive repertoire is fine. Not for everyone, but it works. Not being able to feed yourself at all? NOT okay.
personally my issue isn't that he can't cook... it's that he treated OP like they were in the wrong. I'm not making a committment to someone who will not stand up for me when his mother is clearly in the wrong. trying to get someone fired so they will stay at home and feed your son is out of order. instead OP just got into trouble for upsetting her?
I don't think people are saying to break up because he can't cook as much as the fact that he seems to think it is okay to expect his partner to quit her job so she can cook for him, and that it was ok for his mother to meddle in such a way as to imply OP took drugs to make her quit her job.
I never said that OP should break up with him I was saying that I personally wouldn't put up with that. At 35 OPs fiancee is a grown ass man. Who should know how to take care of himself and be an adult. my boyfriend at 34 is miles ahead of this loser
Shit, the lazy **** can't even microwave something for himself, so he goes and complains to mommy about it. I can only imagine what would happen if OP didn't feel like hang sex one night. "Mommy! She won't touch my peepee! wahhh" She's dating a manchild bro, and if you're okay with those kind of people, have fun with a girl (or guy) who acts like a baby all the time.
He seems to think his mother did nothing wrong trying to get his fiancée fired or make her quit, plus seems to think she's wrong for presumably bringing it up with his mother. All over the fact that he is unwilling or unable to make a basic meal or wait until a time that his fiancée can make a meal. Asking why she's dating him seems fairly reasonable.
OP said it was never an issue in 4 years when they lived abroad. They're apparently living close to the fiance's parents which probably caused him to relapse. I am not defending the OP or his mother but people on this site are to quick to judge especially when it comes to relationships.
There's a lot worth judging here. All of which I find wanting.
43: It's not about his cooking, it's about being a mamma's boy and siding with her against his wife.
That would be comment 43 dude..
148, no one here is saying they should break up simply because he cannot cook. That's not the issue. I can't cook either, really. The issue is that OP's fiancé is siding with his mother who just attempted to get OP fired from her job, simply because OP's fiancé is too lazy to pop food into the oven/microwave or wait for his fiancée to come home to cook. He is acting entitled by not realizing what his mother did was wrong and worthy of a reprimand (HE should have been the one to do it in the first place!). If OP is so immature that he believes his mother was in the right for attempting to get her fired from her job simply because OP's job was getting in the way of his feeding times, then he is not ready to be in a relationship. That is beyond childlike, and could have seriously hurt OP's career. If he is unwilling to apologize to his fiancée and reprimand his mother for her vile actions, then this truly warrants a separation. If you can't stand up to your parents when they are harassing the person you love, you don't really deserve to have them.
I am going to end this huge reply chain debacle with some words of wisdom. to the guy getting down voted to oblivion, everyone is expressing their own opinion on this fml. That is what this websites for. To those white knighting and down voting this guy to oblivion, i greatly hope you are down voting because you disagree and not because this comment is posted by a female. That being said, I hope the op can have the courage to confront his boyfriend on his transgressions and form a solution, instead of bottling it away. Sincerely, your local goofygoober
her boyfriend*
#170 I made a simple mistake of writing the OP when I wanted to write 'OP's fiance' I stand by every ******* thing I said tho. I don't get my people are scared of getting downvoted, do they really care that much about pleasing people other than saying what they want/expressing their opinion?
the white knighting is so strong an army could be raised
35 and can't cook? dear lord the fabled grown ass man child is real. also sorry op FYL
who knows :p maybe op will grace us with an update
Exactly. I learned how to cook a few things when i was 15. This relationship will probably be miserable if his mother keeps babying him
Eggs, I don't know. But I'm pretty damn incompetent in the kitchen and even I know how to dump a can of soup in a pot or put together some mac n' cheese and chop a few veggies for a salad. If OP's (soon to be ex?) fiancé can't manage that, he really does need to move back to where his mommy can give him a nice, warm bottle for dinner.
But but... There was a raid going on! I'm seriousness though, he needs to learn to take care of himself. God forbid something happen to his mother and/or fiancée; how would he survive? He may not be able to cook well, but he's got to start at some point.
Run far far away as fast as you can? Seriously, OP, you don't want that kind of crazy. Besides which, he's 35--if he's not responsible enough to take care of himself, he's sure as hell not responsible enough to get married.
Well maybe "baby" should move back in with his mother
If she thinks her 35 year old "baby" can't support himself to the extent where she tried to get you fired, she should probably be the one evaluated for drugs. And your fiancé should too, for refusing to stand up for you.
Why are you with someone who can't cook his own food?
tbh he needs to grow up and learn how to cook. perhaps you could show him how at some point or have him take a class.
wow. maybe she needs the drug test since she's clearly delusional.
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wow why are you dating a guy like that? I wouldn't put up with that BS
35 and can't cook? dear lord the fabled grown ass man child is real. also sorry op FYL