Fight

Projectile

By Mr.Incognito-san - 03/04/2021 17:00

Today, my sisters were fighting, again. Unfortunately, one of them has the tendency to pick up the closest object and throw it at the other one. Unfortunately, I was the closest object, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 896

You deserved it 112

Stranger danger

By erin - 02/04/2021 10:59

Today, I saw a girl with the same shirt as me. I excitedly pointed it out. She punched me in the face. I didn’t think people actually got mad about that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 017

You deserved it 116

Real housewives

By restraining orders are just paper - 20/03/2021 23:00

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. The constant harassment, threats and stalking by my ex-wife have finally driven her away. This is the third time this has happened. My ex physically beat the other two up, and now she’s scared away the one I wanted to marry. The courts have done nothing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 919

You deserved it 142

Clerks 3

By Anonymous - 12/03/2021 15:30 - United States - Brunswick

Today, at my store, I had an old man violently accuse me of charging him for an extra pack of 99¢ Mounds candy yesterday. He held up my line for 10 minutes, fighting me about it. I didn't even work yesterday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 069

You deserved it 94

Damn Luke

By So not a Luke - 11/03/2021 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, a very large guy came up and asked if I was Luke. Before I could explain that Luke’s my cousin and that we do look like twins, he picked me up off the ground and hung me by my belt loops from a metal fence, telling me to stay away from his aunt. I had to undo my pants in public to climb down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 488

You deserved it 125

Shorty

By Anonymous - 07/09/2020 13:01 - United Kingdom

Today, on my first day as a community support officer, a 7-foot meathead in the middle of a domestic argument told me to “piss off shorty”, and when I asked him not to swear at me, he picked me up one-handed and threw me in a builder's skip full of mud and wet cement. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 560

You deserved it 351

Collateral damage

By Anonymous - 16/07/2020 05:01

Today, my sweet, nonviolent boyfriend found out my daughter's asshole boyfriend had hit her, so he rugby-tackled him so hard, it ripped the door right out of the frame and into the garden. I never knew he had it in him, so I'm proud, but now we've got to fix the door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 361

You deserved it 397

Fight Club Penguin

By mama bear - 05/06/2020 20:00

Today, I punched an older woman in the face. I only hit her after she grabbed my 4-year-old daughter and told her to, "stop dancing like a whore!" My daughter was so terrified, she peed her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 029

You deserved it 224

Boundaries, dude!

By JoeBidenIsMyFIL - 02/03/2020 18:00

Today, I had to physically restrain my girlfriend from assaulting my father after he drunkenly poked her in the ribs for the fifth time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 558

You deserved it 379

Halloween has started early

By Anonymous - 22/10/2019 00:01

Today, while walking down the street, I was violently beaten up by a man in a Darth Vader outfit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 625

You deserved it 165

The joys of public transport

By InPain - 17/10/2019 16:00

Today, while riding the train, some druggie got into a dispute with some random passengers. Even though I didn't even look at them fighting, he decided I was a threat and punched me, a pregnant woman, and some bikers. Now I've got a black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 915

You deserved it 149

Whooped

By leah - 16/10/2019 22:00

Today, I was standing in the shower drying off when my sister came in the bathroom. She must have thought I was a burglar because she hit the shower curtain and punched me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 470

You deserved it 140

Whack-a-Mole

By Anonymous - 28/09/2019 02:01

Today, I had to pick my daughter up from pre-school because she repeatedly hit another kid with a stick. Apparently, my parents have been letting her watch violent action movies again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 506

You deserved it 293

Dash!

By pokeOww - 13/09/2019 22:00

Today, my brother thought it'd be hilarious to tease a group of Pokémon players. They thought it'd be hilarious to beat both our asses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 029

You deserved it 1 453

Everybody was Kung Fu fighting!

By Anonymous - 23/08/2019 12:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my Kung Fu-trained father found out that my boyfriend, a Krav Maga student, got me pregnant. Since I'm only 17, my dad got extremely mad. Several broken bones and a few ambulances later, it looks like a Steven Seagal movie happened in my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 720

You deserved it 1 021

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 4 616

Now what?

By svsksosnns - 11/05/2016 03:59 - United States - Olympia

Today, I went on the road for work for the first time in a very long time. I was enjoying lunch with coworkers when my phone got bombarded with calls and texts. Turns out my wife and my mother had gotten into a fight within two hours of me being away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 978

You deserved it 1 042

Coinkydink?

By believe me now?? - 22/01/2016 20:55 - United Kingdom - Ilkeston

Today, my girlfriend read an FML by some guy about fight he had with his nutjob of a girlfriend. It was so bizarrely similar to a fight we had recently that she accused me of not having any balls and bitching about her to strangers. It wasn't even my story. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 877

You deserved it 2 074

Fight club

By just outdone - 31/12/2015 04:45 - United States - Turtle Lake

Today, I've been staying with my parents while I have time off from school. They got drunk and started an entire family fight because my dad made pizza and my mom is lactose intolerant. She insists my dad did it on purpose because, "he's an asshole and knows I can't eat cheese." FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 810

You deserved it 1 386

Threatening

By supersplatoon - 08/09/2015 23:03 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was walking down the street when someone started yelling at me, saying I was dead. I bolted, ran into a pole and when they caught up to me, said "Oh, wrong person." and walked off, leaving me bruised on the ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 076

You deserved it 2 705

Don't bother me

By anon - 11/07/2015 12:51 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, after coming home from an AFL match in Melbourne at about 11pm, I saw a woman asleep on the train as we neared the end of the line. Being a nice person, I went to wake her, to which she started screaming and trying to punch me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 743

You deserved it 3 267

It wasn't me!

By Anonymous - 15/03/2015 18:40 - United States - Charleston

Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 873

You deserved it 2 728

Heckler dealt with

By mr_cheese - 22/10/2014 20:24 - United States - Seattle

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 469

You deserved it 40 226

Overpowered

By Anonymous - 23/07/2014 16:01 - United States - Glen Allen

Today, my little sister was being picked on by some kids. After seeing one push her, I went over to talk to them about how bullying isn't cool and how they need to play nice. They beat me up. I'm 22 years-old and got beat up by a group of 10 year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 801

You deserved it 15 592

Cops can't catch criminals

By frustrated - 17/05/2014 10:11 - United States - Forest Park

Today, I called the cops on a couple who was fighting outside my window at 4 a.m. They hid in the bushes when the cops came, came back out when they left, and started fighting again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 372

You deserved it 4 802

It was an accident!

By innocent - 06/01/2014 21:32 - Australia

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house, and she was tickling me. It got a bit rough, and she fell out of bed and hit the floor. Her parents, thinking we'd been fighting, burst into the room to see her holding her bloody nose. She didn't say anything while her dad kicked my ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 020

You deserved it 7 504

Great day out

By Anonymous - 14/09/2013 19:32 - Iceland - Reykjav

Today, I went to the movies with my husband and our 6-year-old son. My husband kept stealing popcorn from the guy next to him, to the point where the guy punched him in the face. The movie was stopped, the police were called, and my son is now inconsolable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 128

You deserved it 5 896

Awkward family gatherings

By Anonymous - 13/08/2013 16:01 - United States - Bensenville

Today, I was eating with my grandma and her sister, who don't get along. I went to the bathroom for just 2 minutes, only to come back to find pancakes everywhere and our plates smashed on the ground. They got into a "little argument". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 233

You deserved it 3 458

Heavy sleeper

By good_aim - 27/07/2013 08:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 26 916

Let me sleep

By do your own ironing - 15/04/2013 04:32

Today, after weeks of insomnia, I fell asleep. This would have been great if my brother didn't wake me up at 3 a.m., screaming because his guild finally took down a raid boss. I'm now grounded for thumping him, and have to do all his chores while sleep deprived. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 901

You deserved it 5 578

Keywords

Cats Animals Christmas Health Embarrassing Awkward Work Anniversary Love Boredom Abuse Ironic Intimacy Drunk AITA Alcohol Transportation Am I overreacting? Parents Gun control Kids Language Mysterious Noise Relatable Money Miscellaneous Delivery Food Family

The Top

Today, I was on a date with a very intelligent and handsome guy. I was so nervous that when he was telling me about his twin sister, I asked him if they were identical twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 748

You deserved it 21 318

Today, after 10+ years of being best friends, I finally told my best friend "I love you" while we were on the phone. To which she said, "That's OK, but…" and continued the conversation. Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much, or waited so long. We're both in happy marriages, with kids with other people now though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 85

You deserved it 802

The Top

Today, when I was visiting my dad in the ICU, the nurse was trying to help him sit upright and his dick and balls plopped out of his hospital gown for everyone to see. FML

I agree, your life sucks 955

You deserved it 152

Today, I bought something special at Victoria's Secret, then sat in bumper-to-bumper traffic for 2 hours to get to my boyfriend's house. When I got there, he broke up with me. We're 37 years old and he actually gave me the "it's not you, it's me" speech. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 379

You deserved it 3 408

Today, I told my roommate she had to pay $55 to replace a piece of the oven she broke. She told me I was being selfish and decided to illegally break our lease because I was, "making her feel unsafe." Now I not only have to pay for the oven repair, I also have to pay her next two month's rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 277

You deserved it 197

Today, I locked lips with someone, or rather something, other than family for the first time in my life. It was a CPR dummy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 911

You deserved it 7 375

Today, my mom sent me a text that said "You're my favorite!" and I got all emotional. Then I realized she'd accidentally sent it to our family group chat. My siblings were furious, and she tried to backtrack by calling all of us her "favorites." FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 101

Today, I went hiking at a park by my house with my camera to do some still life. On my way home I noticed some tree blossoms in someone's backyard and tried to take pictures of them over their fence. In minutes, I was approached and interrogated by cops because they thought I was a peeping tom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 414

You deserved it 14 060