Kids

It's not a phase, mom!

By gelly donut - 22/10/2023 20:00

Today, my parents disowned me because I told them I don’t want kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 894

You deserved it 139

Hands off parenting

By iloveyoutoomom - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - France

Today, my mom had an appointment with my teacher after class. She never showed. My teacher ended up driving me home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 610

You deserved it 3 581

The season of the witch

By Anonymous - 22/10/2023 10:00 - Belgium - Charleroi

Today, a little girl and her mother stopped in front of my window to look at the witch I'd put there as a Halloween decoration. The little girl was smiling, so I lifted the curtain and smiled at her. When she saw me, she started to cry, and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 533

You deserved it 196

Mean Girls 3

By Cindy - 20/10/2023 09:30

Today, some girls followed me into the girls room at school. Once I got into the stall, one snuck up on me from the next stall over and grabbed my arms. The others grabbed and took my pants and panties, which were around my ankles. They ran off and left me in there for hours, bottomless. I never got my clothes back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 114

Copaganda

By Anonymous - 18/10/2023 07:30

Today, my dad is trying to kick me out to become homeless, because it’s my goal to become a police officer, and since he’s served prison time I’m now scum in his eyes and a disgrace to our family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 811

You deserved it 297

The struggle is real

By Anonymous - 15/10/2023 08:30

Today, I was lectured by my mom who saw me trying to play on my Switch during a weekday. The thing is, she doesn't even give me any time to play in the week, and then calls me out whenever I try to get a few decent hours on my Meta Quest and Switch during the weekends. Stop dictating me; give me a goddamn break. FML

I agree, your life sucks 485

You deserved it 428

Why now?

By Anonymous - 14/10/2023 15:00 - United States - Lufkin

Today, it took me 2 hours to get my toddler to sleep. Just after I got him down, my mom woke him up by banging my pots and pans around in the sink. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 125

Congratulations, I guess

By Dead Inside Uncle - 14/10/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, my depression has seemingly hit a new low when I barely reacted at all to my sister excitedly telling me that I'm going to be an uncle. I'm not going to be a fun one at this rate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 610

You deserved it 151

Self report

By i got the ring - 13/10/2023 20:00

Today, I told my husband’s ex that she is under no circumstances to contact him for any reason, and that if they must discuss the kids being dropped off, I am to be included as a group text. Her reply? A bunch of laughing emojis. Now he’s pissed at me for trying to protect our marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 2 126

Happy anniversary

By Anonymous - 12/10/2023 07:30 - Canada - Québec

Today, I volunteered to babysit my nephew. He somehow managed to lock himself in the bathroom and then flood it with the sink. I had to call his parents, and they're now on their way home from their romantic anniversary dinner. I'm not even getting paid for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 530

You deserved it 211

The YouTube police

By Anonymous - 11/10/2023 07:30

Today, just like almost every other day, my mom goes onto the computer and scolds me for what I watch on YouTube, even when the videos aren't that graphic. Today she scolded me because she found out that I'd watched videos related to the Max Headroom signal intrusion back in '87. Why can't I just watch what I want? FML

I agree, your life sucks 514

You deserved it 145

Aromatherapee

By Anonymous - 10/10/2023 17:00

Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML

I agree, your life sucks 218

You deserved it 698

UXB alert!

By Uncle Victim - 09/10/2023 22:00

Today, my three idiot nephews dug up a vintage bomb while "digging a hole to China." I told them not to touch it, and went in to call the police. As I did so, they took it to a pawn shop to sell as an antique. The pawn shop called the cops on them, and the cops are now on to me as they're crying, saying selling it was my idea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 886

You deserved it 107

Come again?

By Anonymous - 09/10/2023 22:00

Today, I was having a conversation with my husband when our daughter walked in and shouted at us, “For god's sake, will you two either stop shouting or buy some fucking hearing aids.” That’s when we realised we might be going deaf, given that we've been saying “Pardon?” or “What?” without noticing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 634

You deserved it 248

Teenage riot

By Anonymous - 08/10/2023 07:30

Today, my daughter came to me crying because the boy she’s been rejecting for 8 months stopped asking her out, and is now dating someone else. Apparently she secretly liked him and is mad he gave up. That boy dodged a bullet, but I still have to put up with her crazy ass though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 296

Record breakers

By fatmom - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Royal Tunbridge Wells

Today, I came home from work to find my son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of my pairs of pants. So far, five. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 595

You deserved it 21 574

I would do anything for my kids

By Claus - 07/10/2023 22:00

Today, I took my kids to an indoor playground. My two year-old wanted me to climb the rock wall and ring the bell. I slipped right when I was about to touch it. I landed wrong and felt a 'POP' and agony. Hello, broken ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 649

You deserved it 147

My bad

By Noname - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, a toddler's ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 256

You deserved it 4 049

Roaming gangs

By 23yearoldtoddler - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 013

You deserved it 6 781

Outsmarted

By Anonymous - 05/10/2023 11:30

Today, my son is smarter than average, almost genius level, and he has now reached an age where not only does he question me at every turn, he actually out-argues me 90% of the time and I can’t do anything about it because technically he’s right and I’m wrong. FML

I agree, your life sucks 613

You deserved it 362

Trauma for life

By he's still not convinced - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 918

You deserved it 3 638

Keep it in your pants

By bad brother - 04/10/2023 11:00

Today, my sister-in-law announced that she’s pregnant. With my kid. And the doctor thinks it might be twins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 98

You deserved it 2 280

One track mind

By Old enough - 04/10/2023 06:00

Today, my mom won’t let me go to my boyfriend’s apartment. She says it’s because “I know what you guys are gonna do there I’m not stupid.” She threatened to kick me out of the house if I go. I’m 19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 645

You deserved it 338

The end is nigh!

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 14:00

Today, my thick-as-pig shit mother, who is both religious and almost illiterate, went through my room and threw away anything she thought would be immoral. She threw away Moby Dick because of the word Dick, yet ignored 50 Shades of Grey, because that’s how thick and ignorant she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 136

Very much "hands off" parents

By Anonymous - 03/10/2023 08:00

Today, my son had an excessive nosebleed, like I did when I was little. I called my parents to ask what the name of the surgery was that I had to stop the bleeding. They don’t know because they don’t remember me needing surgery for that, OR when I had my tonsils and adenoids removed. They remember my brother’s though. FML

I agree, your life sucks 647

You deserved it 109

Knackered

By Anonymous - 01/10/2023 13:00 - United Kingdom - Altrincham

Today, I got home after working 14 hours completely exhausted and found my wife asleep, after not sleeping for at least 4 nights with our newborn. She woke up and couldn’t remember where she'd left the baby. After a mad panic, she remembered that he's with her mother. We are not coping very well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 165

Great parenting skills

By Anonymous - 01/10/2023 08:00

Today, I borrowed my adopted mom's laptop and found out that either her, my dad, or both of them, have been trying to research legal ways of un-adopting me and giving me back to the foster care system. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 087

You deserved it 121

Go vegan!

By Anonymous - 30/09/2023 20:00

Today, my sister is furious with me and said i will never see my nieces again. Last weekend, while I babysat for her, I taught them the meaning of veganism and animal rights, even showing them a few videos about the meat and dairy industry, and how the animals are kept and treated. Now she won’t speak to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 155

You deserved it 3 633

It's not for everyone

By lucy ann - 30/09/2023 10:30

Today, my daughter told me she “doesn’t ever see herself getting in a relationship” and “dating just isn’t for her.” She’s 30 and has never been with anyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 220

You deserved it 936

Them frenchies don't **** around

By Anonymous - 30/09/2023 00:02

Today, my son, who I admit has a temper, met his cousins from France for the first time. Straight away he lost his temper, but before I could step in, his younger cousin knocked him out cold with a right hook, looked me dead in the eye and said, “That’s how you get a bitch under control.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 247

You deserved it 1 679

Keywords

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The Top

Today, after being in love with one of my best friends for ages, he took me on a date. We then went back to his place and we made love. Afterwards, he told me he wanted to show me something and led me outside. He ran back in and locked the door. It's a two hour walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 279

You deserved it 7 542

Today, after 3 months of no orgasms, I was in the shower, working to rectify that. As I was seconds away from coming, my dad loudly knocked on the door and demanded to know how much longer I was going to take. Probably another 3 months now, dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 797

You deserved it 9 486

The Top

Today, I’m 5 months pregnant. I really wasn’t feeling my best, so I called in sick. My boss responded with how my “selfish time off requests” are messing with the company’s production, and it’s not the company’s fault a “dude splashed inside me.” She told me to come in or “my kid goes hungry.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 008

You deserved it 322

Today, under the Northern Lights of the Arctic Circle, I presented my girlfriend with an engagement ring and asked her if she would become my wife. She said, "I can’t, I have mittens." FML

I agree, your life sucks 940

You deserved it 91

Today, I went on a movie date with a guy. He brought his mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 649

You deserved it 4 076

Today, I had to tell an adult man that, even though he’s friends with my roommate and the door is unlocked, he should definitely wait until someone answers the door before letting himself in. I almost shot him because he was rooting through my shit looking for his phone he'd "lost". FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 166

You deserved it 122

Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 020

You deserved it 2 504

Today, I had to spend a quite considerable chunk of my Saturday on the phone to my boss explaining that no, it is not reasonable or convenient for him to try and cancel my honeymoon leave, all because he messed up the schedules, and doesn’t want to upset the other girl in the office he fancies like mad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 561

You deserved it 60