Nearly FMLs

By Anonymous - 08/04/2021 18:40

Today, I was at work with my coworker and he asked me if I had, "Fucked any bitches, yet?" When I said I hadn't, he then went into graphic detail about his last bj. The problem? We work in food service, we were at the front of the store, there were two customers, we're both minors and I'm gay. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 08/04/2021 04:16

Today my weekend getaway with my boyfriend just ended. For some reason Mother Nature decided to show up so we didn’t do the nasty but binge watch Netflix and Eat for 3 days. Right when I got home Mother Nature decided to leave early... FML

I agree, your life sucks 51

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 07/04/2021 15:23 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today I have to vacuum. There are animal hairs, dirt and sand all over the place. Why does that make me outraged and disgusted? Because “the place” is the inside of the washing machine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36

You deserved it 6

By Kourosh - 06/04/2021 23:41 - Poland - Katowice

Today, I slept with my cousin's son near me in a room and his parents were sleeping to the next room. I was chatting with my friends and suddenly realized that he had an orgasm while he was sleeping and he moaned so loud that his parents could hear it and may think that we were having sex with each other. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70

You deserved it 5

By Anonymous - 06/04/2021 21:04

Today I told my husband about having to tell an eating disorder specialist about past rape, abuse and beatings. He got angry my gifted rosary beads got stuck in his glove compartment.. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 6

By Anonymous - 06/04/2021 01:44 - New Zealand

Today, I made a Facebook post regarding a weird dream I had about an upcoming Comic Con event. Hours later I got a vaguely threatening if confusing message from someone I considered a friend. I'd only said that other friend had defended me from cruel cosplay gatekeepers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32

You deserved it 11

By Tammy - 05/04/2021 22:08

Today, I was slapped hard by a complete stranger for not saying “Thank you” when she held the door open for me. I have laryngitis and can’t say a word. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 8

By Nadine - 05/04/2021 02:45

Today, my husband is filing for divorce because he began dating a woman from work. I asked him what she has that I don’t. He told me she’s “petite” and wants to try the sex swing he bought with her because unfortunately “my fatass” couldn’t stay on. He was completely serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 11:26

Today I celebrated Easter without my kids because my ex is using the system as a weapon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 3

By lalerg - 04/04/2021 15:10 - Thailand - Bangkok

Today I almost drowned in a swimming plool and it was the same place where I almost died when i was a kid.FML

I agree, your life sucks 55

You deserved it 11

By minatherogue - 04/04/2021 06:59

Today, after arranging and decorating my room exactly the way I wanted it, my dad came in and demanded that I change it because it “looks bad.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 4

By Annies - 04/04/2021 04:04

Today, my dad has a habit of cooking my favorite foods during my workout and then not saving any for me. He also refuses to give me the recipes for any of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 8

By Anonymous - 03/04/2021 11:20

Today, I was on YouTube listening to some pretty inappropriate stuff and doing my thing, until after clicking on a second video, just to realize that my dad had just turned on the TV in my living room and my phone had automatically connected and screen casted a few seconds of the video. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18

You deserved it 62

By Anonymous - 03/04/2021 10:55

Today I found out my boyfriend has been flirting with other girls...He's the first guy I have trusted in 5 years. Not only has been flirting he faked sick to stay home from work and go meet with some girl. I love him so much and I want to fix it but I don't know how. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 49

You deserved it 21

By erias - 01/04/2021 22:01 - United States - Denver

Today, while having dinner at my girlfriend’s house I had to listen to her mother yell at her for an hour straight, saying things like “I hope you die in a fire!” and “You are a waste of oxygen!” Why? Because she put her elbows on the table. I don’t think I can keep dating her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 15

By lukey101 - 02/04/2021 03:08

Today, I finally realised why I always look terrible in photographs. It’s my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 10

By Marcelo Andrade de Lima Filho - 01/04/2021 22:46

Today, This week is being very sad because I haven't seen my girlfriend and she is far away...FML

I agree, your life sucks 20

You deserved it 9

By Anonymous - 01/04/2021 19:02 - Germany - Ebersbach

Today my friend refused to buy cat food for the old tomcat I adopted. Because the only food the cat will eat is non-vegan. My friend will rather let an animal starve than “support industrial livestock farming”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61

You deserved it 13

By devourer - 01/04/2021 04:36

Today I realized I have a shit boyfriend. When I told him I would start putting in the SAME amount of effort as he had, he said I was “being bitchy” and that this was “the beginning of the end.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 57

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 17:25

Today, like everyday I wake up next to the two most beautiful girls in the world, and my first thought is still about suicide.

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 00:25 - Austria - Vocklabruck

Today I had a submission of a portfolio, then my network connection was unstable during upload, resulting in a delay of 5 seconds making it unable to submit my work... FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 30/03/2021 21:46

Today I went outside to go on a walk with my dog, but when I turned around to go back, my dog had ran to a neighbor's house, and wouldn't come back to me until after 6 hrs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39

You deserved it 8

By nina - 29/03/2021 18:40 - United States - Denver

Today, I am so hot you could fry an egg on my chest. I have the window open, the fan on full blast, all my clothes are off, and I have multiple ice bags all over my face and body. No one else in the house is complaining about it being hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47

You deserved it 10

By Anonymous - 29/03/2021 15:42 - United States

Today I decided to step out and enjoy the sunshine. I'm walking strutting and feeling myself and what not enjoying my walk with my dog then head home. I walk to the bathroom and to my surprise and utter dismay I come face to face with my reflection and just like that I remember how ugly I really am...FML

I agree, your life sucks 30

You deserved it 7

By Anonymous - 28/03/2021 17:19 - Spain - Matadepera

Today, I had a really good first date with a guy. We hit it off, so much so that it led to sex. Two days later I wasn't able to stop thinking about him and told him how I felt and he thought that I was cute. Days have gone by and turns out I was the only one interested in the relationship. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68

You deserved it 18

By l - 28/03/2021 05:33

Today, I tripped over the crack in the sidewalk. This is a regular occurrence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41

You deserved it 10

By june - 27/03/2021 19:21

Today, I was at the store with my 8-year-old daughter and we saw an Indian woman. She asked why that lady has a dot on her head, so I yelled at her for being disrespectful. She cried and said “I just wanted to learn more about the culture...” FML

I agree, your life sucks 10

You deserved it 131

By guess I’m fat - 26/03/2021 16:30 - United States - Hesperia

Today my sister asked me to drop off her husband’s lunch since his office is on the way back to my place. Later she called my hysterically crying saying that a coworker of his sent her a picture of her husband hugging “some fat bitch”. She sent me the picture. It was me. My face was turned. Fml

I agree, your life sucks 81

You deserved it 11

By Akshat - 26/03/2021 08:48 - India - Delhi

Today is my birthday. Nobody has wished me, and I have no friends to celebrate it with... FML

I agree, your life sucks 60

You deserved it 12

By Anonymous - 24/03/2021 22:23

Today, my sister and I had my father’s will read to us. My sister will get all the cash and properties. I will “not see a cent” all because I “went against his wishes of having sex before marriage.” I already made plans of going on vacation and put a few designer bags on layaway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25

You deserved it 173

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The Top

Today, I had a consultation for an upcoming surgery I need done. The doctor (who is very handsome and in his late twenties) asked me to flex my stomach and act like I was trying to use the bathroom. As I was enjoying him touching my stomach, I farted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 998

You deserved it 8 644

Today, my boyfriend is coming over. We haven't seen each other for a while so for a surprise, a few days ago, I decided to shave my pubic hair. I've come up in a huge rash that looks like some sort of infection. Not quite the sexy surprise I was hoping for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 737

You deserved it 6 900

The Top

Today, I told my husband that I didn't feel like he loved me. He looked away and replied, "Fair enough". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 045

You deserved it 5 500

Today, I got concussion after a goat ran in front of me while I was jogging. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 445

You deserved it 4 335

Today, I saw my cat licking something on the side of the road and went to check what it was. It was someone's old cigarette. I now know why she wants to be let out so often: She's addicted to nicotine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 388

You deserved it 1 308

Today, I was playing with my phone and turned it on lock mode. I changed my lock code a few months ago, so that no one would be able to guess it. Turns out I can't guess it either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 700

You deserved it 56 546

Today, my girlfriend confessed that she had drunkenly slept with another guy last night. Since she seemed genuinely upset, and had confessed right away, I decided to forgive her the slip-up. She then angrily broke up with me, because "if I really loved her, I would've been more angry." FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 324

You deserved it 13 472

Today, as I got up from the couch, my computer, which was next to me, fell on to my pinky toe. It fell just so that the edge of it cut my toe open. I cursed, and hobbled toward the bathroom to get a bandage. As I'm going into the bathroom, I stub said toe on the door jamb. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 659

You deserved it 4 953