Love: Are you OK?

Are you OK?

By unicorn - 12/06/2009 16:49 - United States

Today, I went on a date with my boyfriend. Suddenly he starts speaking gibberish. I ask what's wrong? He says, "I was just talking to my unicorn. He says you're pretty," and winks at me. What have we learned today? The person I like is a freak, and apparently unicorns are real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 752

You deserved it 13 280

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Same thing different taste

By kat - 21/02/2012 09:53 - Reserved

Today, a client stared at me in disbelief after I mentioned that I had a boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 726

You deserved it 3 059

By shastadoe - 06/08/2012 06:37 - United States - Los Banos

Today, my boyfriend told me he was a vampire. I burst out in laughter and said he was ridiculous. He looked at me in disgust and said he couldn't be with someone who didn't trust and believe in him. I'm now single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 621

You deserved it 5 862

By NocturnalFox - 25/08/2015 19:46 - Czech Republic - Plzen

Today, I went on a first date with my crush. Right before the date, I noticed a monstrous pimple in the middle of my forehead. I covered it with make-up, but it was still visible. The guy spent the whole evening laughing at me and telling me that I look like an unicorn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 920

You deserved it 2 207

Never again

By Catsfordays - 20/08/2015 06:02 - United States - Yucaipa

Today, I went on a date with someone I considered a real catch, my potential soulmate even. He ended up telling me about his fetish for "female smells", sang loudly in Italian in a crowded restaurant, and ate most of the food on my plate. Man, fuck dating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 941

You deserved it 2 633

By Anonymous - 24/08/2014 04:14 - United States

Today, a guy took me out on a date. His imaginary friends joined us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 281

You deserved it 3 679

By unicorn - 13/09/2011 21:21 - United States

Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 739

You deserved it 12 911

Tonight, on First Dates…

By Anonymous - 19/03/2023 22:00 - Australia

Today, I went on a first date with a guy I really liked. He spent the whole time talking about his pet iguana and how it's the love of his life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 171

Another one?

By Anonymous - 27/04/2012 15:24 - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 924

You deserved it 4 863

Sounds like a keeper

By Rae - 30/03/2023 10:00

Today, I went on a date with a guy who seemed really nice. However, halfway through the date, he started talking about how he was a flat-earther, and believed that the moon landing was faked. Oh, and that birds aren't real. I had to endure another hour of his conspiracy theories before I could finally escape. FML

I agree, your life sucks 822

You deserved it 141

Red flag

By Ugly - 06/03/2022 06:00

Today, I went to a wedding with my boyfriend. He became moonstruck with one my friends and said she looked sexy in her dress. The whole night, I was nonexistent to him. He’s now confused as to why I’m giving him the silent treatment. He literally has no clue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 054

You deserved it 344

jorvid 0

Friday 12 June 2009 23:17

First of all unicorns is real, and you should be grateful that the unicorn even thought you were worthy of a compliment, you ****!

24788 6

Friday 12 June 2009 23:16

What's wrong with having imaginary friends that you talk to?

Comments

salvadorisinsane 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 23:04

Dude. That's not an FML. That's awesome. I think that would be freaking adorable. Most of my friends do stuff like that all the time.

Dopehead666 21

Saturday 13 June 2009 23:16

#10 Agreed. And Unicorns are real.

cutebebe778 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 23:18

Lmaooooo @ #11 (thattickles)

hey2341 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 23:23

ROFL i started cracking up because this sounds exactly like my boyfriend.

Toreador 0

Saturday 13 June 2009 23:31

Hey, that sounds like me... I do it with my friends cuz I don't have girlfriend ¿Why? xD

anonymuz 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 0:01

maybe he was talking bout his penis..or maybe im a pervert

hcolovex0x 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 0:31

What can you do,

diet_otaku 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 0:41

either your boyfriend is schizophrenic or this whole post is bullshit.

tigger588 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 1:04

yo thats strait up creepy

hyphywhitekid 0

Sunday 14 June 2009 1:19

Boyfriend win though, definitely.

Keywords

Weird Underwear Clothes Miscellaneous Halloween Cute Dogs Animals Fire Awkward First Dates Smells Love Scary Phobias Work Kids Shopping Embarrassing Mental health Therapy Friends Health Am I overreacting? AITA Birthday Poopoo peepee Thief Customers TV shows

The Top

Today, I found out that the "burglar" I caught, punched, and tied up for the cops was actually my wife's secret lover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 643

You deserved it 78

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 563

You deserved it 2 695

The Top

Today, I was attacked with the classic "I fucked your mom" joke. I calmly informed the troll that my mom is 51, obese, still married to my father after 20+ years, and, most importantly, had a life-saving hysterectomy when I was five. He still insisted that he did the act. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 1 215

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 450

You deserved it 3 556

Today, people say grandchildren are a blessing, well not ours. Our grandson is only 6 but he’s the nastiest human I’ve ever encountered, and I legitimately think it would have been better if our daughter never had him. Unpopular opinion maybe, but spend one afternoon with him, I dare you. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 218

Today, I was dumped by my girlfriend due to our long distance relationship. She then agreed to date my best friend who lives in the same town as me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 403

You deserved it 3 471

Today, I finally felt ready to have sex for the first time, with my boyfriend of nearly 8 months. When I told him, things became intimate and pants came off. He then looked at me and said, "Yeah, I can't do this." The rest of the night was spent in awkward silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 788

You deserved it 6 661

Today, I was walking to my mailbox when I fell down and couldn't get up. My neighbor walked by with his dog, took one look at me struggling, said, "What is wrong with kids these days, drunk at 9 a.m.?" and continued on. I couldn't get up because I'm still healing from a stress fracture in my hip. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 035

You deserved it 3 095