Dear Chicostick: I think the dad was mostly right. But I don't have a "stupid notion that sex is somehow dirty", and I don't think kids should be punished instead of educated about sex. Sure, teaching abstinence, or as you put it "my daughter isn't having sex no matter what", doesn't work for a lot of people. But it also DOES work for a lot of people. If you do it right, i.e. talking about it, explaining the reasons behind abstinence, the possible consequences of not waiting, etc. Assuming that the OP is indeed on BC because she is having sex, the FML indicates that he kinda failed in trying to get her to not have sex. The grounding is his way of trying to make up for that. Granted, grounding in this case was kind of a bad punishment, but he is just trying to enforce the basic principle of "You do something against my rules, you get punished". Which isn't a bad thing. You sound like you're saying "well YOU decided to have kids so when they do something wrong it's totally your fault and they should go unpunished!". Which is stupid. Yeah, sure, no one does every single thing their parents have ever told them to do. But people really should listen to their parents about things this big. A lot of the time they know better, believe it or not, and there isn't much harm in waiting. Also, basic principle of childhood: when you go against your parents rules and they find out, you get punished. It's pretty simple. OP was having sex, which is obviously against her dad's rules, he found out, she got punished. Tada! Yes, sex is indeed a normal natural thing, there is nothing wrong with sex, it is not "dirty"! But it *is* a pretty big deal. I dunno about the dad in this scenario, but I personally am waiting not because I think that there's something "bad" or "sinful" about sex, but because I want to make sure I'm mature enough and in a steady enough relationship that I won't make a decision I'll regret about something this big. I'm a teenager. My brain's decision centers aren't even fully developed, for crying out loud. So I'm waiting until I'm older and I know that I'm ready to make that physical and emotional commitment. Many teenagers don't feel the way I do, evidently including the OP. Her dad, on the other hand, probably does, and he's just trying to make sure she doesn't regret having sex so young (I'm assuming she's pretty young to have her parents ground her).

@ cyxx Well, she must be over 16 years old, because she's able to drive a car and drop her boyfriend off. I agree with some of the things you said, but I also think the father is wrong in grounding her. Of course parents can talk to their children about abstinence, but it's not something that should be forced unto them. This girl seems like a responsible young woman (using birth control, i.e.) and if she's in a relationship with a guy, and they both feel like sex is something they wanna do, then I don't think the parents should stop them. As a parent, the father could instead talk to his daughter and make sure her boyfriend isn't pressuring her into sex. He could make sure they're doing all the right things in order to avoid pregnancy, ect. But grounding her because he for some reason has a hard time facing his daughter is growing into a woman, that's not okay. - and I wouldn't say that 16+ is too young an age to be starting having sex.

@Julle: That's fair - agree to disagree? :) I get what you're saying, I just don't think that 16 is old enough to make a decision about something as big as sex. I think it's very young actually - that's about sophomore year of high school. Your brain isn't even fully developed at that point. But I agree that her parents should have talked to her long before this moment. And I agree that grounding as a form of punishment was a bad idea, even though I think the idea of punishment makes sense. My opinion is that the consequences of having sex young are much worse than the consequences of waiting. Actually the only consequences of waiting I can think of are: a) you lose a boyfriend/girlfriend because they want sex and you don't, in which case you are probably better off because that's a rather shallow thing to end a relationship over, or b) not enough experience when you start, which is not that big of a deal - your partner can help you with that :P Whereas the consequences of sex before marriage (or a relationship of that caliber) include pregnancy and STIs if you aren't careful, and lifelong regret if it ended up being a bad decision, which happens a LOT. I know a lot of people who had sex young and regretted it, and also a lot of people who waited for marriage, knew they were mature enough to make that decision with someone they wanted to spend their lives with, and said it was the best thing they could've done for their relationship. Last thing: Growing into a woman =/= having sex. :)

Yeah, I think we're gonna have to just agree to disagree ;) - I respect those people who choose to wait, and I also get your points. No, having sex is not the same as maturing and becoming an adult, but I would say that having a relationship, bonding with another person, eventually deciding to have sex with this person and taking precautions such as the pill is all part of maturation. It's making decisions on one's own and learning to detach oneself from one's parents. Yes, sometimes the person will make some bad decisions, and hopefully then the parents will be there to help and support the person. I don't think everyone should live entirely under the rules of the parents untill their brains have developed enough (the brain never stops developing. It's a life-long process), and it's finally safe for them to make their own decisions. (I realise this is an exaggerated twist on what you mean, but you get my point ;) ) But you're also very much right. A 16-year-old is at a very "fragile" point of his/her life, so the parents shouldn't just close their eyes and let their kid do whatever he/she wants. :)

Unless her boyfriend has these diseases, or one of them is a cheater, her chance of contracting them is 0%.