Poopoo peepee and Health: Geyser

Geyser

By awhmaaan - 27/02/2012 15:55 - United Kingdom

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 070

You deserved it 5 821

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Same thing different taste

By Numbass123 - 04/05/2014 17:17 - United States - Las Vegas

Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 450

You deserved it 11 656

Plumbing issues

By Anonymous - 27/08/2021 04:01 - Denmark - Viby

Today, I'm constipated AND having diarrhea at the same time. It feels like I'm going to explode. FML

I agree, your life sucks 820

You deserved it 75

By Anonymous - 14/05/2012 03:14 - United States

Today, after 4 days of constipation, I finally pooped. Sadly, I was not on the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 790

You deserved it 3 069

You need more fiber

By Anonymous - 30/04/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I finally got over having constipation for two days straight. It came in the form of a normal-sized, rock-hard turd that made me scream "Ow!" when it came out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 111

By Anonymous - 26/10/2015 04:42

Today, after finishing a bottle and a half of pure cranberry juice to flush my bladder for a possible infection, I've been spewing liquid shits all day, my asshole burns and it hurts to sit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 546

You deserved it 5 753

Ring of fire

By Anonymous - 26/03/2023 12:00 - United States - Ardmore

Today, I have a bad case of diarrhea. The worst part isn’t even sharting in bed while sleeping naked. It’s the severe asshole pain from having to wipe my ass twenty times in twelve hours. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 156

Two speeds

By Anonymous - 03/09/2024 23:00 - United States

Today, I've realized that I have two modes: Constipated, or ultra explosive diarrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 433

You deserved it 66

By fulloshit - 28/11/2010 02:17 - United States

Today, I woke up with extreme stomach pains. After being rushed to the hospital and having numerous tests performed, I was told my intestines were over-stretched with stool. I'm essentially so full of shit it hurts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 071

You deserved it 4 598

By Anonymous - 21/01/2015 04:29 - United States - Bentonville

Today, thinking he was being so hilarious, my friend slipped me enough laxatives to make a horse shit its intestines out. I haven't been able to move from the toilet for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 002

You deserved it 2 891

Leaked internals

By Poopy pants - 12/06/2023 12:00

Today, my anus has given up the ghost. Now if I vomit, have a violent coughing fit, or orgasm too intensely, I will shit myself. Even if I have absolutely no gas or need to go. I'm scared to leave the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 878

You deserved it 135

Weezay 5

Monday 27 February 2012 18:52

Lmfao!

Vulpes21 6

Monday 27 February 2012 18:54

Did you finish before posting this. Or are you like a war correspondent on the front lines?

Comments

music87 14

Tuesday 28 February 2012 2:30

OMG. ROFL

pr1nc3ss817 4

Tuesday 28 February 2012 3:16

Pickle juice helps you poop. Just saying

gparsley 6

Tuesday 28 February 2012 3:27

Ohhh I know a friend that happend to it sucked

67fb 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 3:35

sorry man i feel for ya

ducklover123 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 3:45

Hope you feel better.:) that sucks

DenisTheMenace 13

Tuesday 28 February 2012 4:16

If only you had a gameboy with you.

SeemsToFail 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 4:23

Haha thats SUPER funny but dont get me wrong I feel horribly bad for you

altigue 0

Tuesday 28 February 2012 4:40

Did you get to the 'rips you a new asshole' stage yet? Or are you still on the 'opening to a new dimension' stage? Lol gl with your septic tank >.>

hitman472008 3

Tuesday 28 February 2012 4:58

EPIC WIN!!!!

twilightluvr101 4

Tuesday 28 February 2012 5:02

Well think of it this way, op u probably lost some weight depending on the circumstances this could be really good or really bad!

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The Top

Today, my old company merged with a new one. I was calling our old clients, and ended up speaking with a reporter who was investigating our company for fraud. I now have a meeting with the CEO tomorrow morning. I just started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 854

You deserved it 130

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 793

You deserved it 3 971

The Top

Today, as my dad was handing me my Christmas gift, he pats me on the shoulder and says, "These were mine, hope you enjoy them as much as I did." Thinking it was something special of his he wanted to hand down to me, I quickly unwrapped the box only to find old 70's porn. Merry Christmas? FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 568

You deserved it 3 394

Today, I was reading FML's birthday blog post and saw a picture of myself in it. I would've been happy if it wasn't #4 in the list of worst duckfaces of the week. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 245

You deserved it 55 181

Today, I took my mom to Victoria's Secret to help her find a bra. She made me try one on to see if it looked good on me. Turns out we have the same cup size. I'm a guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 476

You deserved it 52 332

Today, my fiancé told me it was a mistake to propose to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 742

You deserved it 5 436

Today, I discovered the guy that sits next to me in class is actually a girl. Not only is that bad, but we had to write a paper about each other. I used the words "him" and "he", and read it to the whole class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 267

You deserved it 42 377

Today, I was having sex with someone I've been casually seeing. He got all weird during it, and said, "That's a good girl". Once he left, I told my housemates about it. Now every time I do something nice for them, they respond, "That's a good girl". FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 998

You deserved it 8 213