Food, Pizza and Health: Hangry time

Hangry time

By ohforcheese - 19/01/2012 20:19 - United States

Today, I learned that when microwaveable pizzas say, "Caution, hot after cooking" what they really mean is that you should be prepared for the cardboard tray to fall apart when you try to pick it up and that boiling hot cheese is going to run down your arm. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 635

You deserved it 8 558

Back to School: Quiproquos and Notebooks
Laugh at back-to-school mishaps, with dazed students and overwhelmed teachers! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Sounds delicious

By Bible John - 11/11/2023 08:00 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, in a rush, I attempted to microwave leftover pizza slices. Unbeknownst to me, I accidentally hit the 'defrost' button, turning the pizza into a lukewarm soggy mess. I guess pizza should never be reheated in 'thaw mode'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 163

You deserved it 332

By loserr - 28/02/2014 17:13 - United States - Highland Park

Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 061

You deserved it 7 158

By Anonymous - 25/08/2012 13:15 - United States

Today, I learned that just because the actual part of the pan that does touch the stove isn't hot doesn't mean that the handle won't give you third degree burns, a broken nose from passing out from the pain, and an expensive trip to the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 506

You deserved it 6 909

By TBaggins00 - 21/06/2009 07:34 - United States

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 247

You deserved it 61 671

By Anonymous - 07/04/2014 17:02 - Canada

Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 006

You deserved it 48 795

By Jlipka - 22/05/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 844

You deserved it 5 604

By thatchick3333 - 08/03/2012 07:13 - United States

Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 484

You deserved it 6 963

Kitchen nightmares

By Clumsy - 24/08/2021 11:01 - Brazil - Niterói

Today, I accepted I can't cook at all. Why? I burned myself cooking popcorn in a microwave oven. I accidentally burst the package open and a scorching kernel flew into my bra. FML

I agree, your life sucks 751

You deserved it 195

Hazardous

By Anonymous - 28/09/2016 13:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 266

You deserved it 2 503

Kitchen nightmare

By cookiemonster - 13/08/2013 16:10 - South Africa - Johannesburg

Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 448

You deserved it 6 689

TheMaster15 10

Thursday 19 January 2012 22:59

Ohhh buurnnn

Spottedfeather 7

Thursday 19 January 2012 23:00

Why was the cardboard still under the pizza ? That's kind of a dumb move to put that in the microwave.

Comments

kmarie84 0

Friday 20 January 2012 1:29

Damn!! That suxs!

EduJav321 24

Friday 20 January 2012 1:33

Microwavable stuff is endowed with the fiery fury of hellfire and destruction, ever tried to eat a pizza roll right off the microwave? Not fun

wolfpack123 0

Friday 20 January 2012 1:35

Boo ******* hoo

GoW_Chick 14

Friday 20 January 2012 1:39

That was a hot tip they offered, next time listen and use caution, so you don't have to make such a scorching discovery.

lksdliz 9

Friday 20 January 2012 1:40

Cook real food next time, don't eat microwaved garbage!

beebananaz88 0

Friday 20 January 2012 1:47

I want some pizza! P-I-Z-Z-A!

jayemdoubleyou 1

Friday 20 January 2012 1:55

....plates. The answer is plates.

ninjabunny56 0

Friday 20 January 2012 2:33

Thats why you wait a couple mins after it goes ding

KateLuvsYa 0

Friday 20 January 2012 2:39

Oww! o;

kei1108 13

Friday 20 January 2012 2:46

You are supposed to take it off the cardboard and put it on a ceramic plate. But I'm sorry, OP!

Keywords

Scams Food Money Parents Health Relatable Lonely Growing old Love Work Games Miscellaneous Weird Awkward Cheating Sex Intimacy Birthday Romantic Ironic Shopping Sexting Porn Embarrassing Confused Restaurants Kids Family Cute Music

The Top

Today, my husband of 6 years told me he has a 5 year-old. In fact, she was conceived the night before our wedding. Apparently, the “one last time fuck as a single man” with his female bestie was too good of an opportunity to pass up. He doesn’t get why I’m not speaking to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 146

You deserved it 223

Today, my wife got the flu. While she was sleeping, I went out to buy her some soup and other things. When I was walking back through the door, she woke up, thought I was a burglar, and threw the closest thing to her at me. What was it? A cactus. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 040

You deserved it 2 857

The Top

Today, I was taking a poop when I heard a window in my house break. Then, I heard things dropping upstairs. I decided to stay in the bathroom, which has a lock, and called the cops. Turns out it was just a bird that was trying to get at my fish in the fish tank that I have in my room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 875

You deserved it 2 520

Today, I walked in on my dad touching his knob, in the kitchen, while cooking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 326

You deserved it 4 004

Today, I took a bus to the city. When I sat down, my hand accidentally slapped again the knee of the guy sitting next to me. I apologized. He responded, "It's just a knee," and started stroking mine. This lasted the entire ride. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 143

You deserved it 2 439

Today, I was driving my twin daughters to school, when I accidentally honked my horn. I told them it was an accident, then one of my kids said she already knew, because I didn't yell "ASSHOLE!" afterwards. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 402

You deserved it 41 165

Today, my dad congratulated me on having my first girl come over late at night and asked me to be quieter because he could hear us. I'm still single and it was probably me grunting and getting mad losing Plants vs Zombies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 429

You deserved it 3 515

Today, at work, a regular started talking to me. Subject of choice? His overwhelming amount of earwax. Apparently he'd like to make a candle out of it once he goes to the doctor to get it removed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 259

You deserved it 2 323