Relatable, Fight and Love: Heavy sleeper

Heavy sleeper

By good_aim - 27/07/2013 08:03 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I returned from a long business trip a day early to surprise my wife. She was sleeping, so I climbed into bed and started spooning her. Thinking I was an intruder, she simultaneously kicked me in the groin, elbowed me in the ribs, and smacked the back of her head into my jaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 303

You deserved it 26 914

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Action - Reaction

By CaptBlood - 21/05/2021 00:01

Today, before I went to work, I wanted to kiss my wife goodbye while she was asleep, She punched me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 183

By RomanceFail - 02/04/2015 12:51 - United States - Crestwood

Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 040

You deserved it 3 381

By Anonymous - 20/10/2015 09:44 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I leaned over my sleeping girlfriend, kissed her cheek and told her I love her. She punched me in the ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 823

You deserved it 3 656

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 713

You deserved it 26 844

Love hurts

By wray16 - 26/02/2021 21:30 - United States

Today, while my girlfriend and I were making out, she went to fix the pillow behind her head and punched me straight in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 825

You deserved it 131

By Cùchulainn - 10/01/2009 03:23 - France

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 077

You deserved it 9 534

Classic

By Anonymous - 22/10/2022 00:00

Today, my wife woke me up, saying her husband was home and that I needed to escape before he caught me. I was still struggling with the window when I remembered I’m her husband and she was laughing, filming my half-asleep ass trying to escape from being caught by myself cheating with my own wife. Duh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 680

You deserved it 1 441

By randomguy - 09/07/2012 15:09 - United States - Saylorsburg

Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 973

You deserved it 12 166

By Sawarski - 07/01/2013 20:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 664

You deserved it 3 299

By Anonymous - 12/08/2012 09:23 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I was watching a movie alone with my girlfriend. She shifted positions as I put my arm around her, and ended up kneeing me in the crotch and shouldering me in the throat simultaneously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 149

You deserved it 2 367

Javier6597 19

Saturday 27 July 2013 18:58

At least you know that she wont get robbed without fighting back

lotrgeek 10

Saturday 27 July 2013 18:59

At least she's not having an affair?

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Sunday 28 July 2013 2:53

Should have woke her first...

DWynter 11

Sunday 28 July 2013 2:58

Yeah, sorry, I think ydi. When I have to wake up my wife, I start calling her name before I enter the room. Climbing into bed and spooning with her - when she thought I was on a business trip - would result in one emergency room visit.

MidnightMusic53 37

Sunday 28 July 2013 4:28

Well, you certainly surprised her. Mission accomplished..sort of.

nognom 2

Sunday 28 July 2013 5:37

She's a badass. Props!

msb0327 8

Sunday 28 July 2013 5:41

At least you know she can protect herself when you're not there...

shutupmichaela 18

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:16

this sounds like a hilarious one for the future grandkids

photogodess 13

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:41

I was really really waiting to hear about an affair. Glad it wasn't like that. Gratz on a great and strong wife! Nice picking

yeongji 31

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:53

At least from this experience, you have learned two things about your wife: (1) She can defend herself in bed, and (2) She is not having an affair. Even though you suffered much undeserved physical pain, at least it was not emotional torment you had to go through.

Fmlsea 28

Sunday 28 July 2013 6:55

thats a good thing that means she not cheating . I would have been worried if she done the opposite , since she would know your not meant to be there early.