Sex, Awkward and Intimacy: Mr Floppy

Mr Floppy

By rachiej8 - 10/06/2012 04:13 - United States - Fairlee

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to have sex for the first time. Everything was going well, until he tried to put it in. A few minutes later, he said, "It's not hard enough." We tried for another half hour to fix that. We ended up eating ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 037

You deserved it 5 519

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Same thing different taste

You've tried this before, right?

By xxxzzzooo - 02/01/2010 17:22 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex. He tried to put it in unerected. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 559

You deserved it 3 808

By Anonymous - 10/03/2012 07:23 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided it was time to lose our virginity. After our clothes were removed, we spent 30 minutes trying to figure out how to actually have sex, and eventually gave up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 063

You deserved it 59 340

By katie - 23/08/2019 06:00 - United States - Chicago

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try the ice cubes in the vagina thing we'd read about. He kept sticking one in after another and they got stuck. My vagina had a brain freeze for a half an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 772

You deserved it 3 933

By bad in the sack - 05/07/2014 04:26 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. She was on top, and then stopped, got off, and said, "Let's go get ice cream." I think this was her way of telling me I suck at sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 165

You deserved it 11 464

Giggle loop

By Anonymous - 18/03/2010 10:39 - United States

Today, I decided it was time to lose my virginity to my boyfriend. After about ten minutes he started going faster and his stomach was slapping against mine. It was making a weird sound so I started laughing. Apparently that wasn't sexy and he went soft. My first time and we didn't even finish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 319

You deserved it 38 282

By Patricia - 01/10/2011 23:30 - United States

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home, he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 567

You deserved it 5 721

Waste

By Annie - 31/08/2011 03:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Two minutes in, he goes, "Wow, this is strenuous" and stopped. I waited three years for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 818

You deserved it 5 301

Hard to believe

By Anonymous - 02/01/2020 18:00

Today, I tried to have sex with my boyfriend three times, but every time he insisted that he wasn't in the mood. I left to get food and when I came home he was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 375

You deserved it 579

By Blueberrypicc - 13/08/2010 01:01 - United States

Today, I was messing with my boyfriend in my basement. We are both virgins and he wanted to perform oral sex on me for the first time. Naked, we finally decided to try to have sex. We discovered the act is much harder than it may seem. We're both still virgins. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 325

You deserved it 38 090

By Confused - 22/08/2012 16:33 - Spain - Madrid

Today, I finally had sex with my boyfriend. I had never gotten so far with a guy, so I was really nervous. He was careful, we tried different positions, "it was fun" and he came. I barely felt anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 767

You deserved it 4 416

Pinkfl0yd 9

Sunday 10 June 2012 12:29

Doesn't matter; had snacks!

ThatGuyRory 9

Sunday 10 June 2012 12:25

Ice Cream makes everything better.

Comments

blanccamaro74 6

Sunday 10 June 2012 13:47

R u two old or are you just a beard lol

rayyyyyy 2

Sunday 10 June 2012 13:54

That makes no sense.

Duuvve 13

Sunday 10 June 2012 13:58

If you puzzle a little bit and change some words you get: "Are you two old or do you have a beard? LoL"

ElmoSaysSquishy 28

Sunday 10 June 2012 15:40

40 Calling OP a beard is implying her boyfriend is gay and she's covering for him. Meaning 35 thinks the only reasons for not getting it up is you're old or you're gay.

Duuvve 13

Sunday 10 June 2012 15:57

#65 Thanks, I didn't know that. English is not my native language, so I guess I learned something new today. :D

reddudeover 2

Sunday 10 June 2012 17:19

38 - It's stupid but it makes sense. A beard is a girl that a closeted gay guy dates to "seem" straight. Yeah kinda esoteric.

felixthemaster 6

Sunday 10 June 2012 14:00

I dunno about you but ice cream always makes me hard

challan 19

Sunday 10 June 2012 14:19

It comes in different flavors and shades, it's sweet and creamy, and it satisfies. Damn... I don't know if I'm hungry or horny now either.

nowthenagain10 8

Sunday 10 June 2012 16:05

Guys, what about icecream + sex??? I like to think of it as double dessert.

kesher 2

Sunday 10 June 2012 14:09

It's quite common for a guy especially when it's his first time he's just nervous!

KafkasKatfish 2

Sunday 10 June 2012 14:13

Last person I saw make this FML got a lot of "wow, you're stupid" comments. A lot of people had the same problem, myself included, although we ended up with bagels and not ice cream.

challan 19

Sunday 10 June 2012 14:21

Relax, take a break and then lick that ice cream directly off the problem area.

challan 19

Sunday 10 June 2012 18:52

Perhaps Forbidden Chocolate or Carmel Nut Surprise.

The_CL0GGER 0

Sunday 10 June 2012 14:30

Atleast he didn't get hard from the ice cream, right?

asdfghjklana 9

Sunday 10 June 2012 14:38

Scream for my ice cream.

ImaginaryFoe 0

Sunday 10 June 2012 14:42

Nothing chases an erection away faster than the knowledge that you're trying to get an erection. He might not be ready yet or he could just be nervous. Next time, don't approach it as "this is the moment we lose our virginities; follow the textbook", just take your time and let it happen rather than forcing it.