Nuts

By Anonymous - 15/09/2011 20:03 - United States

Spicy
Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend. Not only did he last just 2 minutes, he also sat there for a while afterwards, smacking his semi-erect penis in awe and saying, "Look, it's still hard! How crazy is that?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks 41 879
You deserved it 6 151

Same thing different taste

Top comments

enonymous 8

Dude 2 minutes? I want this guys autograph. Setting world records... I think I'm at 30 seconds of fury myself

If it was his first time that's why it was quick, tends to be for guys as it's a new feeling to them and they love it XD

Comments

Egnar 19

Well I hope you don't expect hours of sex. Frankly, the average man lasts between 5-7 minutes without any kind of assistance (minor amounts of alcohol, cockrings, desensitizing condoms, Pre-Sex wank). When you hear about people having sex for hours it's usually the culmination of foreplay and several rounds of sex. 2 minutes?. . .If that's the entire experience, sucks, sorry - - -2 minutes of actual sex for a guy I'm sure is just as young as you, especially considering his comments afterwards. . Meh, it could be a lot worse, frankly.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

I've had sex excluding foreplay for hours upon hours, and I can testify that while it seems like a good idea while it lasts, your genitals will suffer in hell and detest you immensely for the next few days. You'll be stumbling about like an idiot, praying you don't run into your boss, mother, grandma, whoever, and have to explain yourself. Just work on it OP, it's a learning experience. Nobody knows what they're doing at first.

I'm a woman, and quite frankly, if a guy lasted longer than 20-30 minutes, I'd probably start thinking of all the other stuff I need to get done sometime today, and wondering when he's going to finish, and PROBABLY start thinking something is wrong. For some reason, people tend to slip into hyperbole when they consider time. Sit in silence, for 5-7 minutes. It is actually quite a long time. Sit in silence for 20-30 minutes... that is unbearable. So when someone says it "took like 10 minutes for the waitress to bring our drinks", hah, it was probably more like 4 minutes. Guy says he lasted for 30 minutes? Mmm, I'll give him 9 minutes, tops.

Egnar 19

to 144/151 it's a learning experience but that is the ACTUAL average based off several scientific studies (not my own personal experience). Will a new scientific study come out tomorrow disproving it, probably, that's how science works. Now if you need to know the definition of average I can help you with that as well. . . I find it hard to believe anyone is having 1 ROUND of sex for hours upon hours. If I last more than 30 minutes my girl is looking at me puzzled, semi annoyed and slightly in pain because of drying up. And by "my girl" i mean whichever I happen to be with at that point in my life, not the only girl that's happened to.

kitties_fml 12

I'm 21 and the guys I'm with are usually able to cum and get hard again quite quickly with my help, so "rounds" kind of blend into one another and make for an average of 2 hours of sex in a "session."

Egnar 19

Like I originally said 168, sex can last for hours [My personal record is 12 hours, it was awesome]. But that's not just 1 time during the night, that'd be crazy! Any guy I've ever talked to about sexcapades pretty much agrees and uses terminology that implies that while it's understood that it's one NIGHT of sex that "how many times did you have sex that night?" is in reference to how many times you've cum.

kitties_fml 12

@170: yeah, I guess that's true for some people, but I was just offering a different perspective.

ShroomsOnAcid 16

179 I completely agree with everything you said. I can't imagine getting bored after 5 minutes. If your mind wanders afterwards, then sorry, but you're either not doing something right or are just not as sexual by nature. Maybe read up on tantra, it can help. And my personal record is a 7 hour session with 2 smoke breaks of 5 minutes in between. And yes, we have a clock. And yes I'm a female. Everyone is different, so it's a bit dumb to assume people are automatically lying about their sex life. That said, something like this is definitely NOT going to happen the first time you have sex.

Was he a virgin too? He sounds like he didn't understand what was going on :/ FYL right now, but luckily for you - it will definitely get better after that one. You need to find a guy that knows what he's doing so you can experience what intimacy is really like.

44, you are either an accomplished troll, or ridiculously stupid.

seximexi911 10

86 or an accomplished, ridiculously stupid troll.

xXT9Xx 0

Atleast he didnt smack u with it, thats what i would do :D

enonymous 8

Keyman you knew what you were getting in and out and back in to. That 8 year old had us both beat combined... WTF Walmart?!? We ****** behind the movie theatre... We found out we were caught and filmed on the IMax screen. You cheated first!!!

Tell him to breath slower, that's what I do, helps ya last longer(;

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Or watch Family Guy during. Unless you're into Peter.