By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 01:55 - United States

Spicy
Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 450
You deserved it 63 172
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Top comments

2ndSucks 15

She's stalking you, but you still screwed her? Smart.

425 3

Comments

perdix 29

Now she's going to get the State to do the stalking for her. Kick it up to Stage 6!

32 3
every1luvsboners 11

Just remain calm, we've all been through this; she's full of shit. But if she's not, change your name to Ron Mexico and move to Cuba.

25 4
haw008 14

This might be a desperate attempt to keep you around. Make her go to the doctor to make sure she is really pregnant.

10 0
wildthang428 10

1) Make her show you a positive pregnancy test (in person after she just took it, not a photo- she could easily get a picture off the internet) 2) DNA test once you're able to get one 3) Pray it isn't yours.... Good luck OP

7 2
leadman1989 15

She told him "harder, better, faster, stronger" And noe "She got him for 18yrs" "And on the 18th birthday he found out it wasn't his!" Ok I need some sleep now I'm losing my mind.

7 2
Palirose 22

Why would you not wear a condom? YDI for sleeping with a woman who you don't even want to be with.

13 0
little_monster21 0

Hmm. sounds to me like she planned this. now you're stuck foreverrrr.

2 0
JinxosGirl87 0

Is a dry spell in the sex department that horrible for you that you had to screw the first female you ran into, or better yet, found peeking in your windows?

14 0