By Anonymous - 12/11/2011 01:55 - United States

Spicy
Today, a month after my final bout of intimacy with the stage five clinger who's been borderline stalking me since high school, she called to tell me I'm going to be a father. FML
I agree, your life sucks 14 450
You deserved it 63 172

Same thing different taste

Top comments

2ndSucks 15

She's stalking you, but you still screwed her? Smart.

Comments

N3766 20

Doing the most intimate thing possible with a stalker is a great way to ward them off.

Genius move on your part, congratulations! Seriously, what were you thinking, that you would get rid of her??

blueberry1427 3

No glove no love! Seriously though, she's probably a pathological liar. She wants you so bad that she's going to make up a pregnancy.. Or maybe she is pregnant. Take a fraternal test to make sure it's yours. If it is then.. FYL.. or maybe YDI.. I can't decide. D=

Dude, I don't think the kid would be his brother. Taking a PATERNITY test however...

kronick_fml 0

Wrap your stump before you hump a stalker

Ydi for sleeping w/your borderline stalker

cupcakedoom 3

Probably shouldn't have unprotected sex (or sex at all) with someone you don't actually like or want to see again..