Intimacy: Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he played with and...

By Maxie-Nathanial - 23/05/2010 09:10 - United States

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he played with and named my boobs. Complete with a full skit where "Maxie" killed "Nathanial." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 879

You deserved it 8 249

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Same thing different taste

By goldie09 - 18/02/2010 17:36 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend and I were fooling around in bed, when suddenly, he turned to me and started playing with my breasts as if they were turn tables and he was the DJ. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 799

You deserved it 5 233

Sexy talk

By cheekymonkey97 - 24/10/2016 16:48

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend whilst straddled on top of him. He started to undo my bra. I was fine with this but he stopped kissing me and looked at me with a slight smile. He then said, "I know this is going to kill the mood... but I feel like I could milk your boobs right now" FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 557

You deserved it 1 519

By Anonymous - 27/04/2013 04:11 - United States

Today, I was getting ready to have sex with my boyfriend for the first time. It seems he thought I was a much larger cup size than I really am, because when he saw my actual boobs, he said, "Aaaaaaand they're gone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 663

You deserved it 15 430

Narcissism

By during - 19/05/2010 12:12 - United States

Today, while me and my boyfriend were having sex, he moaned out his own name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 456

You deserved it 7 335

By nemo518 - 23/12/2010 06:36 - Canada

Today, I was naked on top of my boyfriend looking lovingly into his eyes. He then started to use my boobs as punching bags while singing "Eye of the Tiger". FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 152

You deserved it 9 450

Last act

By Anonymous - 29/11/2019 20:00

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 181

You deserved it 275

Making plans

By nowsingle - 03/07/2010 04:04 - Canada

Today, while making out with my boyfriend of a month, he started rubbing my boobs. He told me that he wanted to get some action before he broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 008

You deserved it 5 803

By ohgod... - 02/04/2012 02:18 - Canada - Magog

Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, he called me "Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 195

You deserved it 3 433

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 042

You deserved it 6 804

Good question

By Juliett - 29/08/2019 19:00 - United States - Wisconsin Rapids

Today, my boyfriend gave me an amazing orgasm after a long dry spell. I moaned his name as I climaxed, and he replied, "What?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 854

You deserved it 311

TheUglyBassist 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 19:03

and how exactly was he killed?

tashbash 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 18:59

haha that actually sounds really cute

Comments

1LL337 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 23:20

YDI for letting him and dating ginning the first place

missheep 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 23:42

I named mine Honor and Prudence, and my boyfriend don't stop sully them.

nu_fml 0

Sunday 23 May 2010 23:56

Mine are Kirsty and Calum, my nipples are called Dylan Moran and Bill Bailey

amrik 11

Monday 24 May 2010 0:01

fail

emmanizzer 6

Monday 24 May 2010 0:08

well what matters is whether or not it was a good play. ha i mean you had to watch the whole thing

robinsn 0

Monday 24 May 2010 0:51

I wonder what Sigmund Freud would say.

RedTips 0

Monday 24 May 2010 1:13

lol, OP somebody has a vast imagination.

findley 0

Monday 24 May 2010 1:23

mlia

simmykins 0

Monday 24 May 2010 2:14

I'm just concerned that one of your boobs is apparently a boy.

melissamoshh 0

Monday 24 May 2010 2:44

@ # 61 win.

ChocoLuvv 0

Monday 24 May 2010 2:45

lmfao. i actually find this really funny and cute. did he do an entire 'war' series with them with the 'pew pew! and 'pow! pow!'? xD

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The Top

Today, I was spooning with my wife when I said, "It's cold tonight." Previously when I used that line, my wife would respond by saying, "I know how to warm you up" and we would make love. Tonight, she said, "I know how to warm you up" and farted on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 189

You deserved it 9 535

Today, I took my two-year-old out to dinner. During dinner, our son went to the bathroom three times. As we were getting ready to leave he kept saying he had to go potty. He had gone multiple times, so I thought he would be fine. As he stood up, a giant turd fell on the floor in front of everyone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 300

You deserved it 6 514

The Top

Today, I had pest guys over, so I asked if I should put my cat away. They asked if he was crazy, and I usually call him a "nut job" or a "handful" but instead of one of those, I said, "He's a handjob" to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 618

You deserved it 232

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 880

You deserved it 8 045

Today, my girlfriend and I took a nap on my couch. She used my arm as a pillow, and everything was pretty peaceful, until she moved over and practically dislocated my shoulder. My screams of pain woke her, which was apparently an "asshole move" on my part. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 666

You deserved it 3 300

Today, I got home and found my husband passed out, lying in the playpen with our 6 month-old climbing all over him. I don’t know how long he’d been asleep, but her nappy was overflowing and she hadn’t been fed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 960

You deserved it 160

Today, I put on my new sexy lingerie to get my husband in the mood after work. When I walked into the kitchen where he was reading the newspaper, he eyed me and simply said, "Honey, please, your stomach is the biggest turnoff ever." FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 621

You deserved it 15 055

Today, I called Costco to ask them not to renew my membership because of financial problems. The man on the phone spent 30 minutes telling me why I'm a fool to leave and I ended up with a renewed $55 membership and 25 minutes over my minute allowance. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 475

You deserved it 31 297