Intimacy: Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the...

By Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 750

You deserved it 42 635

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Same thing different taste

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 714

You deserved it 6 019

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 880

You deserved it 61 058

Choking hazard

By notsexy - 09/05/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 091

You deserved it 83 406

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 512

You deserved it 59 433

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 486

You deserved it 11 462

By jen - 16/01/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 745

You deserved it 27 988

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 602

You deserved it 2 811

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 898

You deserved it 40 478

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 317

You deserved it 3 184

Work on your skills

By banana - 26/02/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 928

You deserved it 74 572

SkoomaKi 27

Wednesday 6 June 2012 22:23

So... you gave yourself a facial? Smooth.

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Wednesday 6 June 2012 22:22

Holding a used condom above your face can never end well. Wtf were you thinking.

Comments

circulareasoning 2

Wednesday 6 June 2012 23:49

It was a joke...? I don't get it.

hillbillyted 4

Wednesday 6 June 2012 23:54

There are easier ways to give yourself a "milk mustache" lmao

Stoopid_life 2

Wednesday 6 June 2012 23:55

Well if it wasn't leaking when you held it up,then you'll be ok

ciumegu 6

Wednesday 6 June 2012 23:55

All I imagined when I heard this was Peter griffin tripping and all the donations..fell on him.

jaredofmo 22

Wednesday 6 June 2012 23:57

... Excuse me. I need to vomit now.

mumgee 3

Thursday 7 June 2012 0:01

you gave yourself the money shot..... now your ready for ****.

Zombiegirl420 1

Thursday 7 June 2012 0:08

Id say you came at just the right time

derkster 6

Thursday 7 June 2012 0:15

Atleast it was ur own spermalaide

jwbfml 11

Thursday 7 June 2012 0:37

Bet you never ask if you can give her a facial now.

MariaJ615 6

Thursday 7 June 2012 0:38

Congratulations on that epic fail.. What possessed you to do something like that in the first place? Too bad I can only click the YDI button only once..