Intimacy: Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the...

By Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 749

You deserved it 42 634

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Same thing different taste

By omgdesdes - 16/11/2014 01:29 - United States - Casselberry

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, he triumphantly flung the condom to the ceiling, only to have it come down and smack me in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 714

You deserved it 6 019

Why would you stick that there?

By Co-B - 03/09/2009 20:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend reached into my pocket to get my keys so she could get something out of my car. When she yanked them out, the condom that we'd just used flew up into the air and landed on the floor in front of her entire family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 880

You deserved it 61 057

Choking hazard

By notsexy - 09/05/2009 15:51 - United States

Today, I tried for the first time putting a condom on my boyfriend using my mouth. I freaked out, swallowed, and started choking on the condom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 091

You deserved it 83 406

Sexy time

By Anonymous - 30/07/2009 09:23 - United States

Today, I tried to be sexy and put a condom on with my mouth. Instead, I inhaled it and my boyfriend broke three of my ribs giving me the Heimlich maneuver. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 512

You deserved it 59 432

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 486

You deserved it 11 462

By jen - 16/01/2009 00:39 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with a couple of friends and one of them tells a funny story about how he filled a condom with syrup and put it in his friend's mouth while he was asleep. Me with my big mouth starts to say, "Condoms taste na--" and stopped myself as everyone started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 745

You deserved it 27 988

By Jake - 02/10/2012 11:52 - United States - Athens

Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 599

You deserved it 2 811

By Anonymous - 15/01/2011 10:19 - United Kingdom

Today, I was at my girlfriends house. After having sex, we went downstairs to where the rest of the family was. At this point I did not realise that I had a used condom stuck to my foot. The family did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 897

You deserved it 40 478

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 316

You deserved it 3 184

Work on your skills

By banana - 26/02/2009 03:01 - United States

Today, I decided to practice putting a condom on with my mouth. Then my roommate walked in on me using my mouth to roll a condom onto a banana. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 928

You deserved it 74 570

SkoomaKi 27

Wednesday 6 June 2012 22:23

So... you gave yourself a facial? Smooth.

Psycho_Babydoll 26

Wednesday 6 June 2012 22:22

Holding a used condom above your face can never end well. Wtf were you thinking.

Comments

BradenLock 4

Thursday 7 June 2012 4:24

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

SuperPandaSwagg 10

Thursday 7 June 2012 4:24

And that's why you don't buy condoms at the dollar store.

snowman7me 0

Thursday 7 June 2012 8:27

He'll learn that in a few months.

SilverTears622 4

Thursday 7 June 2012 4:30

Mmmmmm! Salty

200nick2 0

Thursday 7 June 2012 4:41

Maybe there was just lots of cum in it?

truerebel 1

Thursday 7 June 2012 4:54

Ydi for playing with the condom! Sicko! Do ur thing, then throw that bitch away as fast as possible!

ghirahim 5

Thursday 7 June 2012 5:31

Geez, its 1400's. Get it right. Sigh....

MTZ8590 4

Thursday 7 June 2012 5:32

let us know in 9 months, dumbass!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Thursday 7 June 2012 5:42

Why would you possibly think that was a good idea? It also sounds like you're still very immature and probably shouldn't be having sex in the first place. Thank God you used a condom - we don't need someone that immature procreating. Although I'm also wondering how strong it actually was...*shudders*

MzMegs 20

Friday 8 June 2012 1:41

Soo.. Having an odd sense of humor is now known as being immature?

Casalenuovo 0

Thursday 7 June 2012 6:49

Cum is always good lol

thatoneguy79 10

Thursday 7 June 2012 6:50

The fact that you were able to dangle it over your face before it burst indicates that it did its job in the throws of battle. Unless you have the new self-healing kind that rips, repairs itself, and the rips again. Then you might be in trouble. But hey, you are having sex so you have undoubtedly and carefully considered all feasible consequences of your actions and discussed them with your partner, so either way you should be fine.