By Rob - 06/06/2012 16:02 - United States - Neoga

Spicy
Today, after having sex with my girlfriend, I jokingly held the condom above my mouth. Somehow, the condom busted, and everything went over my face. Worse still, we're now wondering just how safe this condom really was. FML
I agree, your life sucks 16 749
You deserved it 42 634
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Top comments

SkoomaKi 27

So... you gave yourself a facial? Smooth.

474 3
Psycho_Babydoll 26

Holding a used condom above your face can never end well. Wtf were you thinking.

329 8

Comments

perdix 29

Now, your gf should wonder if you're going to go gay now that you've taste man-aise. Or maybe you'll take enough yoga that you can suck your own dick and put her out of a *lowers sunglasses* job.

133 13
MagicStallion 9

LMFAO man-aise. Funnily enough, I've never heard that one before....

33 2
ManInTheMachine 19

Better yet, he should join your naked Zumba class perdix. Who better to train OP than the expert himself?

35 1
peachesncreem 21

I will never look at mayonnaise the same way ever again. You've ruined sandwiches for me! Thanks Perdix :(

6 4
perdix 29

#98, they've become sammiches from now on!

6 3
aaahhhfire21 0

Who said you could come back perdix havent seen you comment in awhile

3 10
I_Punch_Babies 7

congratulations OP. you just gave yourself a facial!

22 10
MrBrightside21 20

38 - Ohhhhhhh snap! You mind if I use that one?

5 11
ChickInGreenVans 12

That's what she said..

0 1
ICastillo 24

Wow man you facialed yourself , OP i think you can proudly say you are the first to do that -_-

5 17
TheNewGuy03 28

Nah, what about those who autofellate and/or ********** and shoot all over their faces? D: |the kid|

4 1
SystemofaBlink41 27

90- geez is auto fellate even possible?

3 3
RedPillSucks 31

And cum on their face? Why?

3 1
43trauts 14

93 - If the person has a flexible back, long neck, or a large... umm... than they can definitely fellate themselves.

4 0
Ray_of_midnight 22

It is. Adult film actor Ron Jeremy is known as "The Hedgehog" for a reason.

1 1
devilschoice 6

93: it is indeed possible. A certain, let's call him, Hedgehog, has proven so in at least One of his movies from back in the day :D

1 1
Argumental_Rhino 8

It is indeed possible, I'm quite flexible and "blessed" down there so I could most likely succeed. I am never going to try that though, im not that lonely.

2 2
Minna_fml 14

20: You're new to the internet, aren't you?

3 0
jeremy4719 0

Why would you hold your busted nut over your own face?! Now, holding it over hers would be fine.

6 40
Accept 11

You're Obviously the meaning of asshole.

30 2
Calyx_fml 21

Actually Accept, in this case it's your. The easy rule is that you're is a contraction for "you are". If you can say "you are" and it makes sense then use you're. Otherwise, use your. Unless you're being sarcastic making fun of grammar nazis. Then it's spelled yorr.

1 45
Accept 11

I was slightly waiting for someone to correct me, & You're / Your / Yor/ Not really commenting on the FML but my obvious way of spelling. Why bother? ^-^

7 1
Sielune 8

36 - Please tell me that was a lame attempt at trolling. Read 31's comment again and then go sit in the corner.

37 0
BunchieRules 31

36 - I didn't find anything wrong with her comment, except that she capitalized the O in obviously, which was used for emphasis.

16 0
just_anonymous 8

#36 What was the point of you grammar correction? You didn't correct this person at all. All you managed to accomplish was to show how you fail at being a grammar nazi, epically.

12 1
RedPillSucks 31

That was the point. Just not the one he intended.

4 5
tony1891 22

you'll find out soon enough how "safe" it was

2 1
cfire800 0

Better than her "swallowing" then spit it up in your mouth...

5 17
MagicStallion 9

Whoever it is your seeing, please dump them...

30 1