By fuckmyassimcold - 14/12/2012 19:19 - United States

Today, I avoided having to wash the dishes by faking a cold. My sucker of a wife believed me and hopped off my balls about it. Later on, after I made a miraculous recovery, she told me to take out the trash. It's freezing outside and raining, and I feel a very real cold coming on. FML
I agree, your life sucks 6 976
You deserved it 79 370
Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…
Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

Next

Top comments

Welshite 39

You deserve it just for saying "my sucker of a wife."

1018 14
feldco1 17

Serves you right; you sound like a dick.

572 10

Comments

1bigcat 6

Wow you sound lazy! There are a few rules in my house hold: 1. Cook never cleans 2. Men take out the garbage 3. Men clean up the dog shit You deserve it for being an ass

26 10
vbmg152 18

Same rules we have & it's worked for over 25 years! Good for you!

17 6
vbmg152 18

Why are we getting thumbs down? The truth is hard to take for some people!

11 7
Shrike 23

Probably 'cause it sounds dangerously sexist and conforming to outdated gender roles. Just a guess, though.

27 2
BubbleGrunge 18

How about everyone pitches in and if you see something over flowing/ on the ground pick it up?

15 0
cece_miless 8

Do what your wife says and nothing bad happens.

9 5
SApprentice 34

I dislike this. She's your wife. You're an adult. You should be able to talk about things, and just respect each other more than that.

35 1
vbmg152 18

You're not married, are you? If you are, you're a newlywed!

4 27
kozzard 17

45* if you are in a relationship with someone, and it is not founded on mutual respect and honesty, then you need to rethink your relationship

19 0
mintypoison 22

45- I can tell right now you're someone with marriage issues. If you can't respect and talk to the person that YOU wanted to be with, then I do believe you and your relationship need help.

14 1
SApprentice 34

45- No, I am not yet married, but my marriage date is scheduled. Things are comfortable. He and I split chores evenly. If either of us honestly doesn't want to do a chore, like the dishes or the litter boxes, we let the other one know and trade off in some other way. We also do the chores at the same time, so that neither of us are just sitting on our butt while the other one is cleaning. There's no room for resentment, and if there's a problem, we talk about it. I can't see us scheming behind each other's back to get out of chores. We respect each other a lot, and we really appreciate the things that we do for one another. I think that you have to communicate with your partner and have that respect if you want to be successful. Now, it's true, he and I are still quite young. We don't yet have the decades of experience that most people do. I suppose that our behavior towards one another could possibly change for the worst, but I don't believe that it will.

15 0
Acik91 26

Good for you, #69! I have pretty much similar arrangement with my boyfriend for the times when we're living together - well, maybe there is a bit more on my side, but whenever I express my feelings about this, he actually tries to improve. And he does the vacuuming, which I hate, so, well. Anyway, I may not have the experience, just as you do, but all the more experienced couples I talk to (including my and his parents) say - it's all about setting the habits from the very beginning. So I hope it's not going to get worse for you, guys!

4 0
vbmg152 18

Karma! It always bites you in the ass! Read 1bigcat's comment, rules to live by!

11 4
Quest_ 13

What is with your user name? Do you literally want people to sodomize you because you're cold? Also you're a giant asshole

21 1
dwc2134 5

Seriously? Dishes are easy as shit. And your "sucker of a wife"? You don't sound like an asshole at all... no, not at all...

20 0
geckohead 12

Feelin' pretty good about your post NOW, Mr. Smarty Freakin' Pants? Who has your cajones in a strangle hold this time? We all laugh in your direct direction.

14 0
Chaa05_fml 12

I just hope she locked you out frezzing !

8 0
rahrah27 10

Gaaah, you don't get a cold from being out in the cold. It's more that in cold weather people are too pussy to go outside and so germs spread more easily inside. Put a coat on if you're so worried.

10 0