Miscellaneous: Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar...

By John - 30/06/2011 08:18 - United States

Today, I began to walk across the street when I saw a very familiar old lady struggle across it. I walked over to help her, and only after she had blown her rape whistle and socked me in the nuts did she realize I was her grandson. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 370

You deserved it 3 605

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Same thing different taste

By Help Me - 18/01/2015 03:45 - Canada - Calgary

Today, I saw a little old lady trying to cross the street. I went over and tried to help her. Turned out she was actually just a really short young woman. As soon as I took her arm, she screamed in front of everyone and accused me of trying to molest her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 327

You deserved it 8 481

By anniecook - 27/11/2009 00:26 - United States

Today, I saw an old man who needed help crossing the street. I went over to him and helped him across the street. When he thanked me, I said, "No problem, sir." They responded by hitting me in the happy sacks and screaming that they were a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 983

You deserved it 7 253

By undineA - 18/02/2014 20:16 - Greece - Thessaloniki

Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 077

You deserved it 4 426

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 06:02 - United States

Today, I saw an elderly woman in need of help of crossing a street. I helped her across. On the way she just about fell and held onto me to keep from hitting the ground. After she left on her bus I reached for my wallet. It was gone. I had just been robbed by a 70 year old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 746

You deserved it 4 097

By fuckit - 23/07/2016 06:52 - United States - American Fork

Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 150

You deserved it 1 202

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 28/04/2012 01:55 - United States - Darien

Today, I was walking down the street, when a little old lady bumped into me and fell over. I helped her up and she thanked me for being "such a nice young man". It was only an hour later as I was in line at the store that I realized she'd pickpocketed my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 668

You deserved it 2 576

The road to hell

By notgoodwitholdpeople - 23/05/2014 16:00 - Singapore - Singapore

Today, an old lady fell in the street, and I rushed to help her. As I tried to help her to her feet, she started screaming, "She pushed me! She pushed me!" I froze up in shock, and ended up being chased by some guy who thought I'd attacked her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 843

You deserved it 3 116

By karmafails - 01/05/2012 16:17 - United Kingdom - Addlestone

Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 341

You deserved it 2 364

By lady_jeni - 09/07/2009 07:29 - United States

Today, I went to see my grandmother. She has alzheimers and doesn't remember me sometimes, and today she thought I was her sister and that I was trying to steal my grandfather from her. She hit me with a cane and called me a slut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 60 519

You deserved it 3 237

Who are you?

By forgotten - 02/10/2009 07:46 - United Kingdom

Today, being the nice grandchild that I am, I went to visit my grandmother. She didn't recognise who I was. I thought she was joking. She later called the police as, "Some weirdo had walked into her house." I'm that weirdo; she wasn't joking. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 510

You deserved it 2 849

salvorican 24

Thursday 30 June 2011 15:50

Aww she sounds sweet

iluvhobos 5

Thursday 30 June 2011 15:50

Oh, senility...

Comments

Bree12345 15

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:21

lol that sucks op

Missmonie1 7

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:24

Granny is dangerous

BigHoshJosh 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:24

man boners people just dont like you today..

JayBear14 11

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:27

Did you touch her from behind as you walked up?

ladybunny 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:28

oh damn. she better bake you a shitload of cookies afterward.

isabel22 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:29

You should have been grandma gradma it's Johnny don't KICK me there

NeverShoutDana 13

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:30

Whay does a rape whistle sound like?

Das_Judenburg 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:33

a whistle, genius.

NeverShoutDana 13

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:44

Then why not just call it a whistle? Followup: What kind of sicko would rape a granny?

BountyBass 13

Thursday 30 June 2011 19:03

a sicko

mezochan 29

Thursday 30 June 2011 21:37

When you blow it, it screams "RAAAAAAAAAAPE! RAAAAAAAAPE!"

be2tymee 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:31

lol that sucks. I wonder what she said after she realized it was you..?

Das_Judenburg 0

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:42

I think my butthole is bleeding

tjsomethin 9

Thursday 30 June 2011 16:42

My cat wears socks too..

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The Top

Today, a female coworker kissed me so I reported it to my boss, but he told me I should take the compliment, and asked me why the hell I was complaining about "getting some." I’m a guy, but I’m sure if I was a woman and I’d had a kiss forced on me, it would be a huge issue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 921

You deserved it 218

Today, I fainted in my bathroom, full on naked and sprawled out on my bathroom floor. When I came to, I was in pain from landing on my side and very disoriented. I sat up and could see my husband just roll over in bed and go to sleep. He didn’t even ask me if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 356

You deserved it 55

The Top

Today, I was at my boyfriend's house, meeting his family for the first time. I was leaning against him when he reached around, grabbed my boobs, and started making "pew-pew" laser noises, all in front of his family. I can't believe I'm dating this child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 603

You deserved it 15 724

Today, I went to the dorm showers to use the facilities. As I was getting in the shower, I slipped and landed face first into a puddle. It wasn't water. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 176

You deserved it 2 367

Today, my roommate sent me a picture of his shit. I don’t know what’s worse, the caption saying “3 lbs” or the fact that it was all one gigantic piece. FML

I agree, your life sucks 423

You deserved it 84

Today, my boyfriend flat out refuses to ever give me oral because it grosses him out when I squirt, and there's no way he wants that anywhere near his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 583

You deserved it 329

Today, at a paintball match, my boyfriend shot me between the legs and asked, "Still want kids now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 562

You deserved it 3 999

Today, I met a hot guy at a club and we really hit it off. We went back to his place and we got down to business. After, I noticed he had an iPod Touch on his nightstand. I complimented him on it and he responded with, "Yeah, my girlfriend gave it to me as an anniversary present." FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 103

You deserved it 56 181

Same thing different taste

Smooth criminal

The road to hell

Who are you?

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