Intimacy: Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser...

By Anonymous - 18/12/2011 10:09 - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 642

You deserved it 17 553

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Same thing different taste

Junk in the trunk

By NotSoClean - 21/07/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 800

You deserved it 8 660

By ppp - 14/09/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 217

You deserved it 3 422

By Laura - 03/05/2012 07:55 - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 346

You deserved it 2 606

Firehose

By PissingMeOff - 16/10/2020 13:55 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 141

By tingles - 19/01/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 029

You deserved it 8 060

By Anonymous - 13/10/2011 16:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 980

You deserved it 6 333

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 05:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 315

You deserved it 15 557

By SilkySmooth - 28/11/2018 22:00

Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 773

You deserved it 438

Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 475

You deserved it 3 054

By silkysmooth - 31/10/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 923

You deserved it 5 495

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:11

Soooo make sure he doesn't have to wank that often.

ACrispyRainbow 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:09

Problem?

Comments

bkingkingking 13

Sunday 18 December 2011 23:23

his dick will be silky smooth. not a wrinkle in sight!

drewhan 2

Sunday 18 December 2011 23:24

Least his dick will be soft n smooth now :D

bmxerboy14 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 23:25

Give him a reason to not need to jack off(:

NightJack 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 23:26

YDI for spending $90 on a bottle of lotion.

Mama_Umbridge 8

Sunday 18 December 2011 23:27

Fill it with icy hot. Muahahaha

rukiddingme854 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 23:38

Guess your not good enough for him

golliboy 6

Sunday 18 December 2011 23:52

how can u even waste 90 bucks for some fcking lotion anyways!?

asherm 15

Monday 19 December 2011 0:04

I see a bottle of cheap stuff for his Xmas present. "here honey, heres the Suave, go to town"

PessAsh 0

Monday 19 December 2011 0:05

I have to get a prescription for my skin that doesn't even cost half that you're absolutly nuts.

grannygruber 6

Monday 19 December 2011 0:06

Anyone that spends that kind of money on moisturizer deserves it!

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Argument Ironic Awkward Friends Haircut Cute Relatable Work Cars You're fired Health Covid Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

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You deserved it 39 590

Today, after nearly a week of having laryngitis, I was finally able to talk a little again. Then I yelled at my son for leaving his shit all over the living room, strained my throat, and can barely even whisper now. FML

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The Top

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 477

You deserved it 20 790

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza, and ended up falling asleep on my couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 761

You deserved it 28 049

Today, my date refused to pay for my dinner, even though he promised to beforehand. It turns out, he assumed I would just be ordering a salad for dinner, "based on your slim figure". FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 611

You deserved it 538

Today, it was my birthday. My family usually gives me a financial gift, but didn't this time and said nothing about it. I cooked my own birthday dinner without help, then washed everyone's dishes. I got my own cake and ate it alone because they were too busy getting drunk. Nobody bothered to sing Happy Birthday either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 142

You deserved it 154

Today, I finally got the courage to leave my controlling and manipulative ex. He took it well. And by "took it well", I mean he camped out my doorstep, held some of my belongings hostage, and tried to blackmail me into staying with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 412

You deserved it 1 858

Today, I fell asleep in class during a boring economics lecture. I heard a whisper say, "Rise and shine, sleeping beauty." I thought it was my boyfriend, so I replied, "What time is it? When is this fucking class going to be over?" it wasn't my boyfriend talking. It was my professor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 129

You deserved it 84 822

Same thing different taste

Junk in the trunk

Firehose

Caught red handed

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