Intimacy: Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser...

By Anonymous - 18/12/2011 10:09 - Australia

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 642

You deserved it 17 553

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Same thing different taste

Junk in the trunk

By NotSoClean - 21/07/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 800

You deserved it 8 660

By ppp - 14/09/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 217

You deserved it 3 422

By Laura - 03/05/2012 07:55 - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 346

You deserved it 2 606

Firehose

By PissingMeOff - 16/10/2020 13:55 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 141

By tingles - 19/01/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Solihull

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 029

You deserved it 8 060

By Anonymous - 13/10/2011 16:56 - United States

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 980

You deserved it 6 333

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 05:57 - Australia

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 315

You deserved it 15 557

By SilkySmooth - 28/11/2018 22:00

Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 773

You deserved it 438

Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 475

You deserved it 3 054

By silkysmooth - 31/10/2011 23:29 - United States

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 923

You deserved it 5 495

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:11

Soooo make sure he doesn't have to wank that often.

ACrispyRainbow 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:09

Problem?

Comments

fishface517 10

Monday 19 December 2011 1:13

Maybe op likes to splurge on themselves once in a time, like how some men have to have expensive cars. At least he's silky soft now.

2amkid 0

Monday 19 December 2011 1:32

ever wonder why his dick was so soft? Well now you know ;-)

iHavezMyBirdo 0

Monday 19 December 2011 1:46

Well... Your boyfriend's penis is plenty moist at least.

deequu 20

Monday 19 December 2011 1:52

It's pretty bad to use any kind of moisturizer on the genital area. Wow! Your both smart!

davy187 0

Monday 19 December 2011 1:52

must be some good lotion

epiikgangster11 2

Monday 19 December 2011 1:57

Jeez give him a hand

deebaybeee19 6

Monday 19 December 2011 2:18

Why the hell would you buy a moisturiser for $90? Does it have like gold flakes in it or something?

mcmayo16 4

Monday 19 December 2011 2:22

ydi!!!! $90?!

eatmyshortssss1 8

Monday 19 December 2011 2:36

Well Christ, does it cure cancer? YDI for paying $90 for moisturizer.

docscientist 9

Monday 19 December 2011 2:41

Women and their $90 moisturizers. The media sure got to you...

deebaybeee19 6

Monday 19 December 2011 3:27

Not all women are stupid enough to spend that much money on one bottle of lotion so stfu with the sexist remarks, dude.

Keywords

Break-ups Love Christmas Poopoo peepee Gross Miscellaneous Ironic Argument Awkward Friends Cute Haircut Relatable Work Cars You're fired Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Kids Parenting Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Intimacy Am I overreacting? Management

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You deserved it 1 300

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The Top

Today, my BFF and I put our kids on the bus, and went shopping and have lunch. We were both eating a gross amount of Taco Bell sitting in the middle of the parking lot. The cops pulled up. Someone had called them, saying we were doing drugs because of the way we were sitting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

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Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call me Wolverine. At every lesson, they wait for me with pens stuck between their fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 123

Today, I dropped my phone in the wet snow. I read that putting it in rice helps to get the water out. Three pieces of rice are now frozen into the power port, and I can't get the charger in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 106

You deserved it 13 818

Today, my apartment has been echoing all day with the wails of my cat, Butters. He's yet again managed to trap himself in the umbrella stand. In the past, he has eventually gotten himself out, but this time I think I might have to use a hacksaw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 170

You deserved it 3 300

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I agree, your life sucks 16 624

You deserved it 12 263

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I agree, your life sucks 923

You deserved it 162

Same thing different taste

Junk in the trunk

Firehose

Caught red handed

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