Intimacy: Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser... - FML

By Anonymous - 18/12/2011 10:09 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I found out my boyfriend has been using my moisturiser as lube when he wanks. It's $90 per bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 642

You deserved it 17 553

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Same thing different taste

Junk in the trunk

By NotSoClean - 21/07/2009 18:53 - United States

Today, I noticed that my very expensive facial cleanser was almost out. I had moved in with my boyfriend recently, and questioned him, telling him "You don't have to use so much to wash your face. That's a $70 bottle." To which he responded, "Oh, that nice-smelling stuff? Yeah, I use that on my junk." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 800

You deserved it 8 660

By ppp - 14/09/2011 04:12 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a gift. A half-used bottle of body lotion that belonged to his dead wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 217

You deserved it 3 422

By Laura - 03/05/2012 07:55 - France

Today, I saw my boyfriend spitting the mouthwash back into the bottle, because, "this stuff is really expensive." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 346

You deserved it 2 606

Firehose

By PissingMeOff - 16/10/2020 13:55 - United Kingdom - Durham

Today, I found out that my boyfriend pees in the shower. This would've been OK if he was peeing into the drain. Instead, he pees on the shampoo and soap bottles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 464

You deserved it 141

By tingles - 19/01/2013 13:20 - United Kingdom - Solihull

Spicy

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, he reached out onto my dressing table to grab the lube. He missed, and found the hand sanitizer instead. I'm not sure who is in more pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 029

You deserved it 8 060

By Anonymous - 13/10/2011 16:56 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 980

You deserved it 6 333

By Anonymous - 27/11/2010 05:57 - Australia

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend confessed that he felt so insecure he submerged my $80 vibrator in water to eliminate the competition. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 315

You deserved it 15 557

By SilkySmooth - 28/11/2018 22:00

Today, I realised why my room has been smelling like berries and why sex has been so uncomfortable recently. Apparently boyfriend doesn't know the difference between hair conditioner and lube. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 773

You deserved it 438

Caught red handed

By scarred_sibling - 15/10/2012 12:10 - United States

Spicy

Today, I caught my brother whacking off with my expensive bottle of lotion. This might not have been quite so disturbing had he not been caught with his entire penis in the bottle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 475

You deserved it 3 054

By silkysmooth - 31/10/2011 23:29 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was almost out of conditioner, despite having just bought some. Apparently, my boyfriend has been using it to condition his pubes. He thinks doing this will make me want to give him more blowjobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 923

You deserved it 5 495

Next

Top comments

ShroomsOnAcid 16

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:11

Soooo make sure he doesn't have to wank that often.

ACrispyRainbow 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 19:09

Problem?

Comments

slashcammas 3

Sunday 18 December 2011 21:36

YDI for buying $90 moisturizer.

Calyx_fml 21

Sunday 18 December 2011 21:37

YDI for buying $90 moisturizer, princess.

lantern 6

Sunday 18 December 2011 21:39

My ex did the same thing, he took my expensive face lotion and basically emptied the bottle to rub all over his body. Irritating.

lantern 6

Sunday 18 December 2011 21:39

My ex did the same thing, he took my expensive face lotion and basically emptied the bottle to rub all over his body. Irritating.

sdkorin 3

Sunday 18 December 2011 21:42

I bet he is silky smooth though.

J_Shorty_17 6

Sunday 18 December 2011 21:46

90$ for cream?!?!?!! I'd hope this were medicated cream or prescription cream... I don't know who'd buy 90$ worth of lotion, sounds a bit too rad for me.

viscious 0

Sunday 18 December 2011 22:10

Well make it to where he doesnt have a need to yank it for himself

Fire_eyes 13

Sunday 18 December 2011 22:12

Now that's a fancy wank

MommaMuff 6

Sunday 18 December 2011 22:12

YDI for having $90 lotion. Idiot.

shakey1018 2

Sunday 18 December 2011 22:16

Thats wut happens when u dont put out :P

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The Top

Today, I told my boyfriend of nearly a year that I finally told my mother about him, and that she wants us to fly out so he can meet her. He said “OK” with a blank expression. I went to work, and when I got home, he and all his stuff were gone. He left a note on the fridge, saying, “Sorry, I can’t do this anymore. All the best.” FML

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You deserved it 131

Today, my company told me that they refuse to buy me new safety footwear without a doctor's note, because my shoe size is three sizes smaller than the minimum size my company provides. I actually have to get my doctor to prove my shoe size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 525

You deserved it 1 300

The Top

Today, someone tried to rob my boss's store and I had a knife held to my neck. That’s not the FML. The FML is that, for some reason, it excited me and I got a boner. The thief told me I was all kinds of messed up and left without stealing anything. My god, I’m some kind of freak. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 617

You deserved it 239

Today, for the third time, I had to tell my stepfather to stop using my razor. It seems when I told him last time that I use it on my armpits, that only encouraged the behaviour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 823

You deserved it 115

Today, Facebook put something out that shows a video of your entire life on the website. A part of it showed your most popular status update. Mine was from when I got dumped at Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 480

You deserved it 5 304

Today, I washed the dishes for my mom while she was out, as they seemed to be piling up. I accidentally sliced my hand with a knife in the process. After a trip to the hospital, it was revealed she'd been leaving those dishes there "to teach dad a lesson." FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 685

You deserved it 2 118

Today, I finished my position paper for my social studies class and read it to my mom to get her opinion on it. After I'm done reading it, she asks me if I copied it from somewhere because it sounded very professional and smart, and it didn't sound like me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 264

You deserved it 3 501

Today, after my husband got ready for work, he touched my arm and slowly bent down. I assumed he was going to say he loved me and to have a good day. As I quickly thought of a loving response and prepared to give him a kiss, he whispered in my ear, "Did you put a dead mouse in the toilet?" Thanks a lot, cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 132