Intimacy: Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every...

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By Anonymous - 26/02/2011 20:19 - United States

Today, I found out why my cell phone has been going missing every night for the last few months. My sister has been "borrowing" it so she can hold it against her crotch and repeatedly push the vibrate button. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 519

You deserved it 5 179

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Same thing different taste

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 885

You deserved it 246

By Anonymous - 06/10/2015 11:46 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I walked in on my sister shoving her vibrating phone into her privates. Can't erase that image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 469

You deserved it 3 421

Brother in law enforcement

By Sunshinenwhiskey - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Dallas

Today, I found out why my sister hasn't been answering my texts or phone calls. Her husband blocked my number on her phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 174

You deserved it 1 051

Eye bleach

By Anonymous - 06/11/2023 12:00

Today, I handed my mother-in-law my phone to see the toy that I was going to get for my nephew. While she had the phone, it swiped away to my last search of… vibrators and sex toys. I have no idea if she saw it before she handed me my phone back, saying, "It went away." FML

I agree, your life sucks 196

You deserved it 446

By fmyhabit - 15/04/2011 05:34 - United States

Today, I accidentally pocket dialed my sister while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 871

You deserved it 57 432

By Noname - 13/03/2009 23:04 - United States

Today, I needed money to go to the movie. I asked my mom if I could reach in her purse and grab a few bucks. When I opened up her purse her phone started to vibrate. I yelled over to my mom that her phone was ringing. She said the phone was next to her. I looked in the purse. It was a vibrator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 320

You deserved it 5 348

By Anonymous - 27/08/2015 12:43 - United Kingdom - Bexley

Today, my bitch of a sister broke my new phone, which took me months of work to earn. Her excuse? If I didn't want her to break it, I shouldn't have let her use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 662

You deserved it 2 445

Stay away!

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 03:08 - Singapore

Today, my sister used my mobile phone to call her boyfriend, who is married with children. His wife found my number on his phone and thought that I'm my sister. Since then, she has been calling me non-stop, calling me a "prostitute" each time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 201

You deserved it 5 452

Caught

By Anonymous - 14/08/2015 10:57 - Ukraine - Donetsk

Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 668

You deserved it 1 946

Don't answer

By Anonymous - 10/11/2014 14:28 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I thought I felt my cellphone vibrating. Turned out it was just my girlfriend letting out a vicious fart against my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 614

You deserved it 5 822

WeeWizeL 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:56

So, what's all the buzz about?

TurkeyBaconLovin 0

Saturday 26 February 2011 23:56

didnt notice the smell?!

Comments

ccnavi 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:09

To Do List: • Tell on your sister • Make your parents buy you a new phone (-18) • keep your phone in your pocket or hidden at all times

mona_is_here 10

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:18

When I was 12, I didn't think about sex at all. Or pleasuring myself, especially in such an extraordinary way. Kids these days...

juggaletteninja 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:35

at least it wasn't your toothbrush, eh?

JacksonHorton 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:40

can I **** her?

goddess_darkness 0

Tuesday 10 May 2011 4:24

sick bastard!!!!!

BIGshooter 2

Sunday 27 February 2011 16:58

buy that little horn dog a jack rabbit vibrator and tell her to **** off.

TaylorTotsYumm 10

Sunday 27 February 2011 17:43

An ****** a day keeps the doctor away!

x7jdawg7x 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 17:53

damn that's sexy :D. but I've been masturbating since I was 7 so wats the big deal?

droidfreak 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 18:02

lmao....that's awesome!!

Gabbymcbride 2

Sunday 27 February 2011 19:58

Ppl how do you know OP is a girl, and how do you know the younger sister was twelve? but yeah, this is a total FML.

Alwayzbored1085 14

Sunday 27 February 2011 20:26

When the FML was originally posted, it said "my 12 yr old sister." Not exactly sure why it got moderated.

tatit 0

Sunday 27 February 2011 20:54

I read this post earlier and I think I was disturbed by it being posted. Anyway, I work in child psychology with high risk youth, so I felt compelled to offer my two cents. We actually begin masturbating around 18 months. A mastubating 12 year old, girl, is actually quite normal behaviour. It sounds perverted when posted for all the world to read. As an older sibling, make sure the lines of communication are open. She will want to begin experimenting with a partner soon.