Miscellaneous: Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple.... - FML

By anon - 13/05/2009 17:39 - United States

Today, I graduated from college and my parents gave me an apple. Not the computer, the fruit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 236

You deserved it 5 647

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Same thing different taste

By Paige - 26/12/2011 06:35 - United States

Today, my parents gave me an iPhone. They then checked my grades online, and promptly took it away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 203

You deserved it 52 261

By thanks for the $5 gift voucher - 13/06/2015 16:34 - United States - Randleman

Today, my parents bought my 11-year-old brother a MacBook for my birthday. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 141

You deserved it 2 407

By honorstudent - 13/05/2010 02:18 - United States

Today, I received an award from my school rewarding me for my honor roll and my cheerleading. When I brought the certificate home my mom congratulated me and hugged me. I worked really hard for this and all my dad had to say was, "Try this flavor of Doritos." FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 223

You deserved it 8 256

By WTFruits - 29/05/2013 18:29 - Canada - Kitchener

Today, my math teacher raged at a student for eating an apple in class. As he yelled at the student, he slapped the apple out of his hand and right into my face. Everyone laughed, including the teacher. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 512

You deserved it 3 852

By Anonymous - 17/05/2009 20:09 - United States

Today, for my birthday, I got a Big Mac. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 869

You deserved it 9 648

Broke

By Anonymous - 23/01/2012 14:19 - United States

Today, school tuition has taken up so much of my paycheck that the only thing I had to eat for dinner was applesauce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 757

You deserved it 3 221

Landlords gonna landlord

By Anonymous - 28/12/2022 15:00 - Germany

Today, our landlord came over to chop down our cherished apple tree. While doing so, he ate one of the apples, concurring that they really did taste excellent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 268

You deserved it 128

By grapes - 15/11/2015 22:12 - United States - Westfield

Today, I asked my dad for help on some homework I didn't fully understand. He walked away and came back with a huge bowl of grapes and said, "Here's your brain food." Then he left. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 310

You deserved it 1 899

Fight Club

By Nose bleed - 16/04/2014 02:48 - Canada - North Vancouver

Today, I was eating an apple in class. When I went to take a big bite, my teeth went right through the apple, causing me to scrape the apple right up my face. My nose then started to bleed. I'm now known as the girl who punched herself in the face with an apple. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 314

You deserved it 7 814

Good initiative

By cough - 27/12/2019 14:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I was choking on an apple and asked my sister to get me some water. She got some. Then drank it herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 744

You deserved it 233

Next

Top comments

andycaliboy 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 23:06

show em what you learned in college and turn it into a pipe

greatnt249 0

Wednesday 13 May 2009 23:05

Is that their way of joking about you becoming a teacher?

Comments

pancakelover 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 2:17

Why?

ertw 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 2:18

well seeing as the alternative to you graduating form college is flunking out of college I dont see why you feel the need to have positive reinforcement for not failing...

digapygmy 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 2:20

******* LOL.

24788 6

Thursday 14 May 2009 2:24

lol, at least they gave you something.

idontgiveone 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 2:24

An apple a day keeps the doctor away =)

sexyx0sandyyy 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 2:33

wtf... the suckss. lmao funny though

nonotme 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 2:39

Where is the "This is not an fml" button?

mcsnelly 5

Thursday 14 May 2009 2:39

#100--Just because not everyone gets something, it doesn't mean that those who do have it is spoiled. Not everyone has a computer, does that make everyone who owns one spoiled? Not everyone has a roof over their heads, does that mean anyone who lives in a house is spoiled?

crzy4anime 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 2:46

lols maybe they were just being parents, after all they can be slow at times... my parents are

deannababy 0

Thursday 14 May 2009 2:49

lololololl thats funny! i agreee with number two.

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Keywords

Thanksgiving Politics Holidays Miscellaneous Family Transportation AITA Am I overreacting? Cars Suspicious Cheating Contraception Love Pregnancy Scary Christmas Sex Awkward Weddings Singing Embarrassing My ex Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Mental health Therapy Argument

The Top

Today, I found out that my grandson is actually my stepson, my son is his half-brother, and my soon to be ex-husband impregnated our son’s wife, who’s a third his age. Yet somehow my slimy ex is the victim in all this because our son beat him to a bloody pulp while I did nothing to stop it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 108

Today, I decided to use the disabled toilet in work to get a little extra privacy while I did my business. The cleaners who unlocked the door from the outside and barged in on me were nice and waited until I finished to apologize and explain there were complaints the door had been locked for days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 126

You deserved it 480

The Top

Today, I’m a French teacher abroad, and as my beard has a huge hole near my chin, my students call me Wolverine. At every lesson, they wait for me with pens stuck between their fingers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 585

You deserved it 123

Today, my dad bought a Bible. He's completely illiterate and is basing his religious beliefs off people on TV saying "It's in the Bible." I miss bacon and am tired of explaining to people that he's an idiot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 105

Today, my ex came back into my life, professing his love and begging for another chance. This begging act ended rather suddenly once he remembered I have a daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 362

You deserved it 1 167

Today, I accidentally dropped my phone in the toilet. I automatically dove my hand in and ran out of the stall with it. As I dried it, some girls were laughing. I assumed that they were laughing because my phone fell in the toilet. Then I noticed my pants were still down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 085

You deserved it 43 131

Today, I was walking down the stairs holding a glass of water, when I tripped. I don't know what hurts more, that I'm still picking glass out of my hand or that my mum is still ranting about the water I'd spilt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 800

You deserved it 2 751

Today, I found a friend's gold ring in some grass after a intense 10-minute search in the dark. As well as thanks, I've now got a new nickname. You can now call me Gollum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 515

You deserved it 64