Love: Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years....

By JazzSpazz - 11/08/2009 06:40 - United States

Today, I had a horrible breakup with my girlfriend of two years. Depressed, I changed my Facebook status to, "Hate me today, hate me tomorrow, hate me for all the things I didn't do for you." My ex commented, "Give me an orgasm?" Five of my friends, including my mom, liked this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 921

You deserved it 24 135

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Same thing different taste

By WTF - 12/09/2013 23:08 - United States - Plainfield

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She later put on Facebook that, "Today was a great day!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 270

You deserved it 4 487

By AlonsoKold - 07/04/2014 23:39 - United States - Jackson

Today, my girlfriend threatened to break up with me because I don't like her Facebook statuses enough. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 250

You deserved it 5 867

By Anonymous - 30/10/2013 23:39 - United States - South Gate

Today, my girlfriend decided to break up with me over Facebook. Unfortunately, she "accidentally" posted it on my wall instead of sending me a message, so the whole world could see it. My mom liked her post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 256

You deserved it 3 912

By Anonymous - 28/01/2012 21:52 - United States

Today, I changed my relationship status on Facebook from "in a relationship" to "single." I forgot to take my phone to work, and when I got back, I saw someone had replied, "What happened?" Someone else commented, "He broke his hand." My ex and a bunch of other "friends" liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 754

You deserved it 4 928

Rubbing it in

By lmiller - 24/01/2010 03:29 - United States

Today, when I logged onto Facebook, I discovered a friend request from my ex who broke up with me and deleted me months ago. Upon adding her, I was taken to her profile where I saw dozens of status updates talking about how much she loves her new boyfriend, who she dumped me for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 854

You deserved it 9 895

By 30Jenna - 13/07/2011 22:01 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me on my Facebook wall. 27 people liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 754

You deserved it 6 312

Well played

By fmfb - 07/06/2011 23:09 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into my Facebook account and changed our relationship status to single, just to see which of my friends would "like" it. After revealing to me what she did, she now says I can no longer be friends with anyone who liked it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 763

You deserved it 6 279

Sussy

By Idek - 30/01/2015 16:27 - Australia - Perth

Today, I was scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed and I noticed my boyfriend had commented on a post. It said, "Tag the hottest girl you know". Yeah, he tagged his ex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 076

You deserved it 3 117

By facebook - 24/06/2010 10:09 - Australia

Today, my girlfriend "accidentally" set her relationship status to "single", and 20 of my friends "liked" it, including my mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 020

You deserved it 4 987

Not you

By Anonymous - 15/01/2012 06:24 - United States

Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 108

You deserved it 4 006

catchyscreename 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:10

Oh. DAMN you totally walked into that one.

andyn 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 16:13

YDI for posting lyrics as your facebook status you ******* twat.

Comments

mahjongdude 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:02

LOL

BeanieBaby 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:03

Dude - Terrible music??!? Blue October is the BEST BAND EVER!!!! (but yeah, that is realllllly self-pitying)

andrewms 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:07

YDI for not being able to take a joke

lmmmr 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:24

You do not deserve ears.

billchilled 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:31

You have a funny mom :D

cossackkid01 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 22:35

This is what all emo pricks deserve. Good show by your (obviously tasteful and worldly) Mom.

secretsxsecrets 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 23:16

HAHAHAHA for all the things you didnt do for her. i get it. this is going in my faves

raNDMGUy 5

Tuesday 11 August 2009 23:37

you cant "like" comments on facebook

strangers_fml 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 23:39

Um. No offence, but YDI a lot. Posting whiny and self-pitying lines on FACEBOOK, of all places???

k_cool 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 23:42

YDI for listening to Blue October and not being embarrassed by it!

Amkii 0

Wednesday 12 August 2009 7:51

#114 - There are plenty of people who are proud to call themselves fans of that amazing band; myself included.

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The Top

Today, I'm on opioids due to severe pelvic pain. Taking them makes me constipated and increases my pain, which leads to taking more painkillers. I can choose to be in agony and the possibility of pooping, or be in slightly less pain and completely bunged up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 946

You deserved it 485

Today, I was about to leave for my honeymoon with my new husband, when he saw my deodorant in my bag. He picked it up and asked what it was. When I said it was deodorant, he gave me a confused look and said, "Girls don't wear deodorant." He actually believed that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 352

You deserved it 3 008

The Top

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 831

You deserved it 4 449

Today, I managed to somehow trip and fall on my back twice within just two hours. My back didn’t hurt the first time, but it sure does now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 619

You deserved it 124

Today, I realized the only reason my phone ever rings is because someone needs help with their computer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 886

You deserved it 2 291

Today, I went to the location of me and my wife’s first date, because I miss her and barely get to see her because of our work schedules. Only to see her there on a date. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 773

You deserved it 208

Today, I was in the living room with my brother and his two older, hot friends when my mother walks out from the toilet and tells me, "Honey, if you sprinkle when you tinkle, be a sweetie wipe the seatie." Need I say more? FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 045

You deserved it 17 409

Today, my phone decided to delete all my numbers. I posted on Facebook that people should message or text me if they felt like I should have their number. I didn't get a single reply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 890

You deserved it 6 654