Intimacy: Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't...

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2012 22:58 - United States

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 776

You deserved it 1 824

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

It's a trap!

By RC3Welly - 09/03/2009 22:58 - United States

I agree, your life sucks 636 920

You deserved it 798 789

By fuckmuppeter512 - 04/01/2014 22:26 - United Kingdom

Today, I got a text from my girlfriend. After only having sex once, where I wore a condom and didn't even get to come, she says that she's pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 875

You deserved it 8 704

By ottawaaa - 27/01/2009 22:26 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and as I pulled out to finish I slipped and ended up punching her in the stomach, I came while she was writhing in pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 178

You deserved it 10 862

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 639

Precaution

By Tai - 31/10/2010 13:30 - Australia

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 590

You deserved it 9 943

By sexisntfun - 30/03/2015 02:13 - United States

Today, I was about to lose my virginity to my girlfriend, with whom I am genuinely in love. Right after I'd got the condom on, she said, "You do know this is break-up sex, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 323

You deserved it 3 186

By Marco - 01/04/2013 21:00 - United States

Today, I brought a girl home from a bar. Things were getting hot and heavy when she asked if I had a condom. I opened my wallet to grab the one I keep in there, only to find the empty wrapper in its place; it was the only one I had. It seems drunk me is a bigger jerk than I thought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 016

You deserved it 45 626

By air - 13/07/2009 09:17 - United States

Today, I found out I was pregnant. When I told my boyfriend that I couldn't believe this happened he said, "I'm not going to lie, I didn't always pull out fast." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 673

You deserved it 89 256

Wrap it up

By Anonymous - 03/09/2023 14:00

Today, the one time, THE ONE TIME, we ran out of condoms and had sex anyway, my girlfriend got pregnant, even though she’s on the pill. I didn’t even orgasm inside her, I had to do a Google search to learn that live sperm can emerge and go inside her even before I orgasm. We are so screwed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 251

You deserved it 794

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 834

You deserved it 13 051

citylights 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

hahahahahaha that is ******

Anony_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 9:07

Pull out method doesn't work. You're ****** for life.

Comments

jim_witness 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:05

Respectfully..you're an idiot

Chamon_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:12

Fav'd. PERIOD.

ATLien 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:19

Bruh, why would you ever have unprotected sex with someone you don't know?! Forget getting her pregnant, thats one of the BEST case scenarios! Have you ever heard of AIDS? Herpes? Come on, man...

Aly_fml_fml 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:21

Do people not understand that there are worse things that could be the outcome of sex? Like um maybe death by AIDS or raging Herpes? SMH. And god will somehow grant you douche bags a kid.

DinoJR 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:22

lmfao OWNED

Scalfin 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:37

I'm guessing this guy is from an abstinence only school, so he was taught that condoms increase the likelihood of pregnancy. But dude, you really should press charges. She raped you.

sammie2 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:38

idiot. ohhhh... idiot. you deserved that batshit lunatic girl. whatever happened to horny teenage boys walking around with condoms in their wallets. if you wanna stick that dick somewhere and NOT GET AN STI AND NOT HAVE A BABY, be ready with a condom, or else you're not allowed to play. that's YOUR sperm that YOU PHYSICALLY PUT IN HER BODY. you can't make her give it up now, besides talking things out and hoping she understands... but hey, we all know she's crazy, so good luck with the talking.

TBR 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 20:39

Wow stupidity. but as a few people on here have said it seems this may have been her attempt at a joke, She is probably actually on the pill. For all those worried about stds he wasn't so why should, besides most people at least those who know they have stds would be unlikely to take a risk in spreading it on.